#thylegend

[oliviaalicia]

My advice to you all:

Date a girl who learned to give massages in karate. Your body will thank you forever.

[oliviaalicia]

Buying Fallout 4 w/ the GF at Wal-Mart

Cashier: do you have your ID

GF: oh... No I left it at school

Me: I told you to carry it with you!

Cashier: is she your... Mom?

GF and Me at same time: lol no friend

Cashier: oh, girlfriend?

[oliviaalicia]

You know what's fun? When you and your girlfriend ( @thylegend )are at Wal-Mart but she has to leave, so you're huggin and smoochin in the middle of an aisle (because nobody is too good for Wal-Mart lovin). And then in the middle of a smooch (that you were getting quite into, if you're being honest) she turns around, bends over a little, and farts at you before *literally* runing away. And then, of course, you slowly lose strength from all the laughter, and you lower yourself to the cold Wal-Mart floor in surrender to the idiocy of your wonderful girlfriend. Then your girlfriend turns back, sees you curled into a shaking ball on the floor and comes back to make sure you haven't peed your pants from all the laughter. And let's face it, you probably have. Yeah, that's fun.

[oliviaalicia]

When bae thinks she can pull off your uniform hat better than you can… and then she’s right @thy_legend

[oliviaalicia]

What is your favorite thing about your girlfriend?

She is herself 100% of the time. Never a fake, never a phony.

[oliviaalicia]

Your girlfriend has cool hair.

Eh.