#tight 5

[kael-writ]

I told my girlfriend I would do sex work if I was more attractive. She said she thought I was attractive enough. I guess that makes her my Only Fan.

[rainbowhyperfixation]

Scene from my life:

(After some fun banter that I don’t remember)

Spouse: thank you for entertaining me so 😍😂

Me: Like I said, I’m at least as funny as Sarah Silverman

S: I’m sorry I don’t entertain you as much

M (laughing): you just need a little more trauma

S: trauma‽

M: yeah we’ll go back in time and give you a little more trauma

S: worst use of a time machine

M: it really is!! If I were going to go back in time to make you funnier, I could just give you jokes! “Here kid, this’ll kill in 2025”

S: that would be great

M: it’s like Agnes Nutter, but useless. Will I tell you what stocks to invest in? No! But here’s a tight 5

S: but I could get a career out of a tight 5

M: I’m not sure 5 minutes will get you a career

S: that’s what I hear…

and scene

[kael-writ]

If you think about it, it's hilarious that a bunch of Irish people are mad that there's so many Irish-Americans, like Im sorry our Irish ancestors came over here and fucked everybody? Did you expect them NOT to all have 12 kids?

[thecomedybureau]

Please Enjoy Jon Laster’s Set on VICE Live

Viceland’s late night experiment, VICE Live, where they do 2 hours live nightly, is still going and part of filling that time is occasionally featuring stand-up comedians per late night tradition. They highlight those in NYC’s comedy scene that deserve to be highlighted including Rachel Kaly and Gastor Almonte.

Their latest “Tight 5″ features Jon Laster who works the crowd beautifully and has a pretty great act out about public protesting. Give it a watch here.

[stingray-sharkteeth]

Enhanced player welfare is the guiding principle behind the change with a reduction in the force of engagement an expected outcome.

I don't like it. The first time I ever scrummed it was "Crouch, Touch, Pause, Engage!" I liked that. I've mostly used "Crouch, touch, set" and now this!? I just... I don't want it.