#time without you

[acknowledgetheabsurd]

My darling girl, when I think of all the time spent without you, I have the impression of stumbling through life. I stumble over everything at present, truly. At least there’s still this Friday, and another one, and perhaps even other miracles. I feel like staying in bed until Friday—and pulling the sheets up over me.

Albert Camus to Maria Casarès, Mon Cher Amour, May 9, 1950 [#302]

[hmklifegoeson]

Read me your favourite line?

Some thing inside me is caught,

caged...and tangled up.

This tension holds in my ribs

but I'm trying to pull at the thread 

of the words you said...

Every thought of you is a mess.

Why is everything so out of order?

I try to unravel images of you...

and get stuck again on

the way your eyebrows came together

and the heaviness in your breath

when you said it again, and then once more to be sure...

Your eyes were wet with devotion.

When your lips trembled,

you said it was forever.

What once was tightly wound

I broke down 

in time

in meaning

reading the words where you once were.

What now is gone.

I'm wishing for your voice

Please, fill my ears.

Please, read to me your favourite line?

Say it again, and once more...

Why is nothing forever?

[gedanken-fliegen-hoeher]

Du. Jetzt. Hier bei mir, neben mir. Das wäres jetzt...