Day 24: Denial | Working through the pain | “What have you done to yourself?”
notes: Another dream au fic (more context here). Tim's overworking himself to avoid confronting his emotions about losing his son, just like his father before him.
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It should probably be a bad sign that Tim couldn’t remember the last time he’d blinked. However, he was ignoring that. He rubbed his eyes and took a sip of his energy drink and kept digging into the highly obscure unsolved case from 2012.
It was probably also a bad sign that he didn’t hear when Dick came in and got some supplies from the Batcave’s medical bay. He didn’t even know his brother was there until Dick put both hands on his shoulders and leaned close to the screen to see what he was working on. “Hey, Timbo. Whatcha up to?”
“J- iminy cricket, Dick. When did you…”
“Five minutes ago. Ma’ri got into some nettles, and I was finding the cream. Is this the Horburn case? I thought that was colder than Greenland.”
Tim rubbed his eyes again, blinked until they were no longer blurry, and opened another file. “It is. When I’m done it’ll be… thawed out. What time is it?”
“Five. How long have you been down here?”
Tim shot him a confused frown without looking away from the screen. “Only? I barely started at three. Besides, it’s the weekend.”
“Five PM on Monday, Tim.”
“Oh.”
Dick sighed, leaning against the table. “At risk of sounding like a broken record, when’s the last time you slept?”
Tim shrugged, scrolling through Bruce’s evidence logs. “I plead the Fifth.”
“Okay, new question. When’s the last time you had something other than Red Bull and coffee?”
Three weeks ago. Before landing the Batplane outside the League base and fighting his way through to save his wife and son. Not that it’d worked out like he’d wanted. Not that it’d made him any less alone.
His hands were shaking.
“Baby bird,” Dick said in that soft, concerned voice, and Tim knew he’d seen it, “you need to rest.”
Tim dug his nails into his palm to stop the shaking. “I’m fine.” It may have been the biggest lie he’d ever told, and he’d told a lot.
“You’re not getting any rest, barely eating anything substantial, and you’re constantly staring at a computer like it’s going to divulge a whole eyewitness testimony.” Dick shuffled through some of the papers on the table, and Tim made a displeased sound, batting him away and putting them back. “Go home. Go to sleep. Go be with Nia and Ricky.”
They don’t want to see me. Why would they, after he’d failed at the one thing he’d promised them he would do? When every day, all he could do was think about what he’d done and how he could have done better, how he could have saved his baby boy? Burying it in constant analysis of a tragedy removed from his was the only way it would stop.
But obviously, he said none of that, just shook his head and kept clicking. He didn’t think he could have if he tried. He would probably start crying and never stop.
“Ricky needs you. He doesn’t know what’s going on, and-”
Tim felt a sudden surge of anger. His eyes hurt, and his chest hurt, and he couldn’t stop himself from snapping back at his brother. “That’s just low, Dick. I didn’t think even you were capable of guilt-tripping me with my own son.”
Dick winced. “Timmy, I-”
“Oh, I know. You didn’t mean it like that, you just want to make sure I’m okay. Well, news flash, I’m not, so nice job.” Perfect little Dick Grayson, with his perfect reputation, his perfect family in his perfect city. Who was he to say what Tim should and shouldn’t do? “Go help your family and stop worrying about mine,” Tim snapped, pressing control+W probably harder than he needed to.
“Okay,” was all Dick said in reply. He hesitated, then slipped silently away as Tim dug his nails harder into his palms.
characters and relationships: Nia Rosewood (OC) & Ricky Wayne (OC) - platonic, mentions of Nia Rosewood x Tim Drake (not onscreen)
warnings/additional tags: kidnapping, waterboarding, mentions and flashbacks of past infant death, mentions and flashbacks of past sexual assault, overall creepy and sadistic intent, Ricky is his mother's son and poor Nia is so stressed, so many trauma flashbacks, hair grabbing, implications of cheating and child born out of wedlock (false)
Ricky and Nia are taken captive yet again by a man who wants to bring the Wayne family low.
notes: timnia 5eva or whatever the kids are saying these days. Context time!! This AU comes courtesy of @choasuqeen!
there is actually a truck ton of unposted context for this haha. So if you don’t wanna read all that or you wanna experience it without context, feel free to just CRTL+F down to the TLDR or straight to the fic (search ——).
if not, happy reading! This began because Chaos had a dream in which her One Piece OC Nia (powers: shifting into a jackalope, perfect mimicking, messages like a voicemail) is in the batfam and eventually gets together with Tim (it’s a very good au you should pester us for more stuff GO YELL AT HER).
Ricky Wayne happened when Tim found his old lab equipment from the attentions to clone Kon era and ran some tests on it with his own DNA, fell asleep, and when he woke up there was Child, and he brought Ricky home like “honey bunny… don’t freak out” *hands her a baby*. (Those who recognise him I’m giving you an awkward wave like a classmate I didn’t expect to see at this function). Ricky isn’t Nia’s biological son but she loves him like her own. He’s about 14 here.
also one time she got kidnapped by these guys who hated the Waynes (it wasn’t even for bat-related reasons I’m gonna scream) and were generally Bad and gropey to Nia both conscious and unconscious on camera live-streamed to the entire city (blame Chaos), so that’s referenced a few times in both flashbacks and dialogue.
Last but not least, when Ricky was about 5, Nia got pregnant and they were all prepared for a little brother for Ricky when she gave birth but both she and the baby died. Tim flipped out, took them to the Lazarus Pit, but only Nia came back. It was a rough time for everyone, Ricky didn’t really understand what was happening until they sat him down and explained.
GOOD TIMES. TLDR: Nia <3 Tim, Ricky is clone baby (now 14), Nia has been kidnapped and assaulted on live camera, and they lost a baby before.
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The door thunked open, and the man entered, smiling down at his captives. “Hello, Mrs. Drake.” He sneered the name like a bad word, leaning down to grab her by the chin. Ricky growled, glaring up at the man as she pushed him behind her. “Aw, is your little bastard boy growing into a feral thing just like you?”
“He’s not a bastard,” Nia said, trembling. The last time someone had kept them away from their family there’d been a camera streaming live and hands on her and- NO- “He’s mine.”
Ricky pressed close, glaring up at the man even as his breaths blew panicked-rabbit-fast on the back of her neck. “Leave- leave her alone.”
“Oh, I’m afraid I can’t do that, buddy. See, you and your mama have the displeasure of being the easiest of your family to take my frustrations out in. You would know all about that, wouldn’t you, Mrs. Drake?”
Nia shrank away, pushing Ricky further from him. “Do- Do whatever you want with me, just leave him alone.”
“Oh, I will, trust me. Not leave him alone, but I think you know.” He smiled, then gestures to his thugs. “Bring the boy.”
“NO!” Ricky screamed just as Nia did, clinging to her as the hands descended, yanking at his hair and arms and pulling them apart. “Mom!”
Nia tried to hold onto her son, clawing at the men, but they kicked out at her, and her grip was dislodged with a yelp. “It’s okay- It’ll be okay, Blackbird will come for us.” She held his gaze since she could hold nothing else as two of the thugs hauled her up, slamming her against the wall and pinning her arms as she struggled.
“MOM!” Ricky was fighting as hard as he could, but the man was stronger and dragged him across the floor to a deep concrete basin by the wall. Nia’s heart stuttered painfully as she realised it was full of water, more pouring in through a pipe embedded in the wall.
“Wait- Please- Don’t hurt him. I’ll do whatever you want.” I’ll be good I’ll be good just leave him alone please- She pulled uselessly against the iron grips on her arms, trying in vain to get back to her baby, to hold him safe away from the danger.
“Whatever I want?” the man mused, and Nia nodded frantically.
“Anything.”
He smiled. “Very well then. I want you to watch.” He grabbed Ricky by the hair, yanked him up, and shoved his head into the basin. Ricky struggled, bubbles rushing to the surface as he kicked and pulled frantically at the tight grip. If it was anything like the ones on her arms, he was completely at the sadist’s mercy.
“Ricky- Let him go- Please.” Nia fought as hard as she could, but there was only so much strength in her, and it did nothing against the two men. She could only watch, heart sinking, as Ricky’s struggles became weaker and weaker, legs kicking slower until they stopped altogether and he went limp in the water. NOnononono is he okay he has to be fight please fight don’t go- She let out a desperate sob, tugging at the thugs’ grip again. “Please-”
The man let out a satisfied hum, pulling Ricky’s head out of the water. “Interesting. I thought he’d last longer than that.” Nia could barely hear him, staring at Ricky’s limp form and willing him to move, to gasp for air holding her baby boy in her arms and watching as his thin cries trailed off and his little body slowly went still Tim trembling next to her, begging him to live-
The man was suddenly in front of her, dragging Ricky by one arm. “The poor little Drake-Waynes. All the money and power in the world, and they can’t use a single bit of it to keep their family safe. Where was all that last time you were on the air, the whole city watching someone have their fun with you? Where was your husband, hm? On his cushy seat watching them make a fool of you.”
Nia shook her head wildly. (Nonononobadbadbad Tim came for me he did he will- She can’t stop thinking about hands on her body and sneering in her ear-) “No- He- He-”
“He’s not here, Mrs. Drake. And he won’t be. Even the Waynes won’t be able to find you here.” He grabbed her by the chin, holding her still as his other hand brushed her hair out of her face, tugged on a braid almost playfully. “Maybe after I’m done with your little bastard, I’ll let my boys have their fun with you. Only this time, no live broadcast.”
Nia flinched, trying to push the memories away, to look past him to Ricky, but she was trembling. Ricky looked dead he couldn’t be dead please don't be dead.
He let go of her and let Ricky drop to the floor, then stepped on his chest a few times. Nia winced at the audible crack of Ricky’s ribs before he shot up again, gasping and coughing water, and she couldn’t help but feel a wave of relief.
“Mom-” Her heart ached to hear his voice broken, but still calling for her.
“I’m here. It’s okay, hon, you’re okay.” She relaxed slightly against the wall. At least he was breathing. At least he was okay. He slumped back onto the ground, eyes closed as he wheezed.
The man bent down beside him, patting his cheek roughly. “Welcome back, little bastard.” Ricky winced and tried to pull away, but the man grabbed him by the hair again and yanked him off the ground.
“Ow- Ow-” He struggled briefly but quickly slowed, weakened by the temporary lack of air. His eyes met hers and stayed there, wide, blue and terrified as he scrabbled at the grip on his hair. She tried to silently tell him it would be okay, smiling at her through the tears welling in her own.
They fell quickly when the man shoved him back into the water. Ricky struggled, kicking at him frantically, but she watched him slow and stop fighting for the second time as she tried to stop crying. It’s okay it’s okay it’s okay you’ll be okay hold your breath-
This time, he was conscious when the man hauled him out, hacking and coughing up water as he reached toward her with a feeble whine.
“I know, honey, it’s okay. Just breathe.” The only thing Nia wanted was to reach back towards him and take his hand, but the thugs pulled her back against the wall as she strained toward him.
“At least he managed to stay awake this time,” the man taunted. “So you can learn.” Ricky shrank away from him as much as he could (which wasn’t much), but the man was too fast, and grabbed him again before shoving him to the ground and kicking him in the ribs as he gasped.
“Please- I’m sorry-” He whimpered as he curled up as small as he could, and Nia could see, so painfully vivid, what he’d picked up from her.
The man laughed, throwing his head back. “You’re sorry? Pathetic child. You don’t even know what you’re sorry for.” Ricky flinched at the loud sound and didn’t speak again.
“Do you really want to make it up to me, boy? Do you really want to atone for the sins of your family?” The man nudged him with a shoe. “I might have a few ideas.”
Ricky uncurled slightly, gazing up at him with wide, confused, trusting eyes, and gave him a tiny nod.
Before Nia could cry out for him not to, the man grabbed him by the throat and dragged him back to the water, smacking his head against the concrete. “Then you can drown.” Nia sobbed as Ricky screamed into the basin, fighting as hard as he could but getting weaker and weaker before he passed out and she listened to his heart slow.
PleasepleasepleaseI’msorryI’llbegoodlethimgoplease- She buried the words, would not allow herself to say them, to let them bring her back to the ring where she could make no bloodless mistake. All she could do was watch as the man held her son underwater until his heartbeat stopped beating completely. She clung on to the sound of the last few thumps, begging them to sound again, to push life through his veins and wake him up. But there was nothing as the man hauled him out and threw him onto the floor. Nothing as he walked over to Nia and stroked a hand down her cheek. Nothing as the guards dropped her to the ground and left with him.
“We’ll be back for you, Mrs. Drake. Wipe away those tears and pretty that face up for my boys, or I’ll do it for you.” The doors closed behind them, and Nia crawled over to Ricky, pulling him into her arms and pressing an ear to his chest as if it would make his lack of pulse any more audible.
“Ricky, wake up. Please.” She choked on more tears, linked her fingers, and started compressing his chest. He had to wake up. She feared she would lose the will to fight if he didn’t.
