“ i wish i could hate you. ”
No one could say they hadn’t seen this coming, not really. He wasn’t the best boyfriend, Bryce knew that. Fuck, everyone in the goddamn Murder Club knew that. He wasn’t even a good friend half the time, but hadn’t Felix known that before getting into all of this? Wasn’t there some sort of thing about buyer’s choices or whatever? How could someone get into a relationship with someone who so clearly showed his flaws and then expected those to go away, or acted as though they hadn’t been right there on display for the world to see. Truth be told, he had sort of expected this to come about eventually. Relationships weren’t really his jam and it had seemed likely that it was only a time before Felix wised up and started going after his usual type of who the fuck knew.
Yet, one of the few surprises that was still between them was how badly it hurt to hear those words. Words had never had that control over him before. Someone said something stupid and he just didn’t care. He was bigger, more popular, it was easy to just not care. However, Felix never seemed to care about any of that. All the other boy had ever seemed to want was someone to care for him and be there for him through the rough and not so rough times – simple enough. Apparently, it wasn’t that simple, or maybe it was and Bryce just sucked at this.
Swallowing hard, he nodded slightly. What really was there to say? Was he supposed to beg Felix to just give him the benefit of the doubt? Hadn’t he done that enough for Bryce? He looked down; arms crossed over his chest as he tried to hide the bit of moisture welling up in the corner of his eye. No, fuck this, he wasn’t about to let any tears fall because of this shit. Felix didn’t get to see him cry, not over this. So, instead, he simply continued nodding until he was able to choke back the emotion in his voice just enough to let out a soft “Yeah, I know.” The silence seemed to be settling between them. Why hadn’t Felix said anything yet? The silence between them only lasted a couple more seconds before Bryce whispered out, “I know you do. I’m sorry, Felix. I-I wish I could love you how you deserve.”
