Rate the Ship -Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPs
How long will they last? - Forever
How quickly did/will they fall in love? - It was slow at first but then it hit them like a train.
How was their first kiss? - Great despite the fact Shelly walked in and pretty much said “I knew it” internally.
Who is the best man/men? - Probably picked out his best male grunts.
Who is the braid’s maid(s)? - Shelly and his best female grunts.
Who did the most planning? - Matt and Shelly
Who stressed the most? - Matt
How fancy was the ceremony? - Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.
Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? - Everyone was, Courtney forced Maxie to show his face along with the team but Tabitha was nowhere to be seen? ;_:
Who is on top? - Matt, if you aren’t prepared then Matt will probably kill you.
Who is the one to instigate things? - Archie, he’s a horny little shit from time to time.
How healthy is their sex life? - Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now
How kinky are they? - Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head
How long do they normally last? - I dunno, 10 - 20 mins? Idek how long its supposed to be.
Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - Yep
How rough are they in bed? - Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it.
How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? - No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.
How many children will they have naturally? - They don’t need kids, the grunts are their kids.
How many children will they adopt? - The entire team.
Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - wat
Who is the stricter parent? - Archie
Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? - None, Aqua are a rough bunch and are sometimes idiots. But don’t forget they are smart too.
Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? - Archie
Who is the more loved parent? - I’d say both because a lot of them look up to Archie but Matt is pretty much a marshmallow.
Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? - Both
Who cried the most at graduation? - Matt
Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? - Pfft as if the law would get them.
Who does the most cooking? - Matt
Who is the most picky in their food choice? - Neither.
Who does the grocery shopping? - Matt
How often do they bake desserts? - Not too often, they gotta look after their bods.
Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? - Matt = Salad while Archie is a meat man.
Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - Matt
Who is more likely to suggest going out? - Archie
Who is more likely to burn the house down accidentally while cooking? - Archie
Who cleans the room? - Matt
Who is really against chores? - Neither.
Who cleans up after the pets? - Both.
Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - Archie, lazy shit.
Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - They are too layed back to worry. They walk around in bathing suits for fuck sake.
Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - Archie
Who takes the longer showers/baths? - Archie, duh. Unless Matt joins him.
Who takes the dog out for a walk? - Both
How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - Every year, they go nuts about it, especially Halloween. Aka Sharpedo suit or Merman time.
What are their goals for the relationship? - Idk, I think they are happy, so… none?
Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - Archie if he’s left to his own devices.
Who plays the most pranks? - Archie.
