Perfect
The screams had settled. The blinding lights had dimmed. And all that was left was this one audience member who was set apart from all the others because of one simple thing: he knew me.
He didn't just know my birthday or my lucky number or how I got some scar on my leg. He knew all these little things about me that couldn't be captured in a 500-word article. He knew who I was when I wasn't "on."
It had been terrifying, yet somehow so natural, how quickly Joe was able to tear down my walls, but I knew from the start that this kind of love was different. This kind of love wasn't fragile.
I felt appreciated in a relationship for the first time. There was a show to put on for the fans, but never for Joe. He had seen me growling in anger and felt my tears dry on his shirt.
I could dry my own tears and scream into a pillow, but I loved the way his hands would stroke through my hair whenever I was upset. His hand in mine could make a thousand flashing cameras feel comfortable and his lips could make movie nights and sweatpants feel sexy.
I saw him grinning at me from down the hallway backstage, looking at me like I ruled the world. There was such a passionate mix of pride and hunger and amazement in his eyes. I knew that feeling well, but there was something extremely appealing about being on the receiving end of it.
“You were absolutely incredible,” he told me, wrapping me into his arms.
“Really?”
“Are you kidding?” He pulled away to look me in the eyes. “That was the greatest performance I’ve ever seen.”
I wanted to kiss him but I couldn’t force my lips to stop smiling. We’d been dating for over a year and somehow he could still make me melt with one glance.
“You weren’t too overwhelmed or anything?” I started worrying, wondering if he was just putting up with the crowds and commotion to please me, and my smile fell a bit.
“Not at all. Everyone was going absolutely crazy for you.” He leaned in toward my lips. “Too bad you’re all mine.”
His smirk pressed up against my anxious pout and I could feel his adoration, demanding to be felt, embraced, reciprocated.
I slowly pulled away, acutely aware that we were in the middle of a hallway and anyone could walk by. He still carried that same smirk on his lips, with a bit more flush in his cheeks.
“You looked unbelievably sexy up on that stage,” he breathed onto my lips. “I’m so in love with you, it’s ridiculous.”
His words, coated in lust, drove any thought of the consequences of making out in the middle of a hallway out of my mind and I quickly recaptured his lips in mine. Joe’s hand moved to the small of my back to pull me closer and I was so entranced by him that I barely even heard this footsteps rounding the corner.
“Taylor!”
I jumped and turned around, hearing Joe’s little brother call my name. The excitement on Patrick’s face quickly faded into noticeable discomfort as he realized what he had interrupted.
“Patrick!” I exclaimed, drawing out his name in excitement and dancing over to give him a hug.
I hadn’t seen him in a while and he had come to meet Joe and I at the show.
“Hi.” He was still blushing. “I’m sorry about —”
“Don’t even worry,” I told him.
“You’re too nice to him,” Joe mumbled behind me, and I turned back momentarily to roll my eyes at him.
“So how have you been?” I asked Patrick, grinning at him. “You’ve gotten taller!”
He shrugged. “Just a little. And I’ve been pretty good.”
“That’s good.” I fished for more details like a mom picking my kid up from school. “Anything exciting happening at school? Finals coming up? Girl drama?”
He laughed at how eager I was to hear anything about his life. I adored the normalcy and comfort of Joe’s family.
“Really nothing too interesting,” he said. “Your performance was amazing, by the way!”
“Thank you!”
“Were we gonna go back out there for the other performers?” he asked.
“We can if you want to,” I told him.
Joe casually intertwining his fingers in mine as the three of us found my security team, who led us back out into the crowd.
Ed was just beginning to strum the opening notes of Perfect and I automatically looked over at Joe, who already had his eyes on me.
He wrapped an arm around me, rubbing circles with his thumb on the back of my shoulder. I knew he was thinking of the exact same thing I was — the late mid-March night when we danced around our living room to this exact song.
The lyrics had gotten us talking that night about things we’d both been thinking about but weren’t sure how to bring up to each other. The future. How we would maintain any level of normalcy in our relationship. Kids.
That last one was tricky. I’d all but given up on my dreams of becoming a mother because I wouldn’t want to force such a hectic life onto my children. But Joe had reminded me that it was still possible to be a normal human and Taylor Swift, simultaneously.
He asked me that night if I thought we’d have children of our own someday. Even though we’d only been dating for five months at that point, the thought had most definitely crossed my mind. Joe had already proven to me that he was the one, and my mind couldn’t help but drift into fantasies of him gazing down at a blue eyed baby or carrying around a curly haired toddler on his shoulders. I admitted to him that I was terrified, but I wanted everything with him. He kissed me so deeply, yet so softly, before telling me that he wanted everything with me, too.
As Ed sang the words on stage, Joe hummed along, swaying me back and forth.
“Do you think everyone in this room knows how much I love you?” he murmured into my ear.
“Not everyone,” I assured him. “Just the hundreds of people who have their eyes fixated on us right now.”
I wasn’t looking directly at him, but I could picture his lips curving into a smile that had become so familiar to me, and his eyes whispering that we had our own secret world that no one else could sneak into.
It was in moments like this that I fell deeper in love with him. It was the mix of perfect moments and ugly fights and every repetitive kiss in between that made me so utterly sure that this was it — that he was the one.
