Jan 23, 2023
Alex Bailey is either asexual or a lesbian to the point that I wouldn't even call it a headcanon, it's more just good character analysis
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Alex Bailey is either asexual or a lesbian to the point that I wouldn't even call it a headcanon, it's more just good character analysis
Conner Bailey Headcanons
he always tries to start collections. one day he's collecting cool rocks, the next day is fruit stickers, the next is old coins. the thing is, he can't keep any of his collections going, so he just has random jars with one or two things of each object in them. Bree calls it his "collection of collections"
he often sends emails to Mrs. Peters with his latest stories, and she sends him writing contests she thinks he might want to enter
he will NOT STOP bragging about how he met the president of the United States, it drives everyone insane
he tried to learn guitar, just so he could play a couple songs for Charlotte and Bob's anniversary (they both cried)
he's a perfectionist when trying to find a gift for Bree, going to 5 or more different stores until he finds something worthy
he's definitely used to eat toothpaste as a snack when he was little and once in a while still does
he taught Froggy and Jack a secret handshake
he's had MANY "hurt her and face my wrath" with Arthur and any other boyfriend of Alex
he goes all out for mother's day to make up for all the times he stressed his mom out during excursions to the fairy tale world
Conner: I'm too young to die!
Conner: And too old to eat off the kids menu!
Conner: What a stupid age I am!
Land of Stories books as John Mulaney quotes
The Wishing Spell: I'm new in town, and it gets worse
The Enchantress Returns: I am very small, and I have no money, so you can imagine the stress that I am under
A Grimm Warning: I just wanna sit here and feed my birds
Beyond the Kingdoms: Hey mister, I found your treasure
An Author's Oddessy: You know those days where you're like, "this may as well happen"?
Worlds Collide: I hear you, I also don't want me to be doing what I'm doing
The Land of Stories characters as John Mulaney quotes
Alex: You remember being 12, when you're like, "no one look at me, or I'll kill myself"?
Conner: None of us really knew our fathers. Anyway...
Bree: You are never to young to learn our national no snitching policy
Red: It's mean to make fun of people, but it's so fun sometimes
Jack: My wife is a bitch and I like her so much
Goldilocks: Hey, do you want me to kill that guy for you?
Froggy: (groans) You know, life
Conneree Headcanons
It's very common for Bree and Conner to find the other asleep at a computer - kitchen table, desk, couch, in bed, doesn't matter. They'll usually take the computer away, and gently help the other up to bed. If a deadline is near, they'll make the other a cup of coffee and offer to stay awake with them.
Bree and Conner had a very long engagement. Technically, based on the first time Conner asked, roughly 7 years. From when he actually proposed, about 3.
They did, however, move in together when they were 18. They lived separately for their first semester of university, but quickly realized it wasn't worth it, and it was less expensive to just get an apartment together
Conner has his Master's in English and Bree has her PHD in English and Master's in Political Sciences
They were 28 when they got married (this is canon). It was also when they bought their first house.
Both of them can cook great on their own, but they cannot cook together. It will always end in disaster
Bree runs a really popular Fairytaletopia tumblr blog. No one but Conner knows it's her
Conner runs a fan page dedicated to all of Bree's books and political achievements and Bree thinks it's the funniest/sweetest thing
They wrote several books together and their fans find it adorable
They are huge dorks all the time
Conner proposed via the book dedication of book 3 of the Fairytaletopia series
Conner is the only person (outside of the editors) allowed to read Bree's writing prior to publishing
On the other hand, Conner is more lenient. Unless he wants something to be a surprise, he lets his family and friends read bits. Bree is the first person to read a book in its entirety though (with the exception of the first Fairytaletopia book, because Alex called dibs)
When their kids are old enough, they do not get to know how any of their parents books end. They did once, and that resulted in an entire class and families having to sign non-disclosure agreements
Fairy Council: We've got it under control
Conner: Is that why everything's on fire?
Alex, Conner and Bree were Harry Potter, Percy Jackson and ASOUE kids respectively and you cannot convince me otherwise