#tlou thoughts

[thewinterizzy]

The real winner of this season is Shimmer like yes girl stay living and unbothered away from all of this human drama.

[everythingalllatonce]

My thoughts exactly

[outer-edges]

joel who is filled with immeasurable amounts of love for a girl who was taken from him too soon. joel who has no idea where to put this love. joel whose memories are a minefield. joel who holds onto the empty space filled with grief as his way of holding onto sarah.

joel who knows he’s going to care about ellie from the minute he meets her. joel who knows they’re going to be inextricably linked. joel who fights tooth and nail to not care about this girl.

joel who is terrified of implications of that. joel who thinks that having somewhere to put his love means forgetting and replacing sarah.

joel who slowly realizes that loving ellie isn’t replacing sarah. joel who surrenders and stops fighting caring about ellie. joel who starts to laugh easier and smile a little more. joel who starts remembering sarah without it hurting so much. joel who looks at ellie and sees someone so different from his babygirl but so similar because teenage girls are still just teenage girls even during the apocalypse.

joel who finally has somewhere to put his love.

[missredherring]

Joel: "You may not like the rules, but this is my house."

Ellie: "No, it isn't. You don't own it. They gave it to you-- sorry, to us. You don't own anything."

Of all the things in the ep, I didn't expect to have such a strong reaction to this exchange.

Ellie grew up in a different world than Joel, where no one really owned anything permanently. They might have it and use it, but there was always a chance you'd move on.

Joel knows what it is to own something. He had his own business. He had his own house (assuming he owned the one in Austin).

He provided for his family in a very real, tangible way until the world fell apart around him and he's trying to do the same for Ellie in Jackson.

I think Ellie says this to mean that Joel can't control her just because she's younger than him. But to be told you have nothing at Joel's age?

Damn.

[stardustrebels]

Hmmm.

Hmmmmmm.

Hmm.

Hm.

[insomniamamma]

I've seen a bunch of back and forth about whether or not Joel made the right decision in saving Ellie at the expense of a cure for cordyceps. He's wrong for saving her at the expense of the world. The cure would have worked. The cure couldn't work. The Fireflies are poorly organized militants who can't possibly make this cure work. Marlene is a power hungry psychopath. Ellie would have wanted to give her life if she had the option.

None of this matters because for Joel, in that moment, there was no decision to be made. He is not weighing the fate of the world against the life of one person. He is not thinking of Ellie's agency or lack thereof. There is no weighing of what is right or wrong, for the greater good.

His focus narrows to getting to Ellie and getting her the fuck out of there. That is all he cares about in that moment. There's no moral calculation there's just her. Joel is not rationalizing his actions. He is acting.

As a parent, I can tell you. If someone took my son from me and said we need him to save the world but we're going to cut into his brain and kill him to do it? Fuck the world. The world can burn. You'd have to kill me first.

[sometimesiwritethingsilike]

For the person that requested a mini-fic of Joel feeding his family. Once again I'm incapable of sticking to a short format 😊

Featuring: softness, cooking, some Joel whump, the Dynamic Duo of Ellie and Tommy, cuddling, Joel being taken care of, and a Miller Williams sandwich.

— — —

“Go on, get some rest. I got ‘em.” 

Tommy mumbles something but he’s already laying down, following Joel’s guiding hand on his shoulder. Ellie grabs a blanket and drapes it over Tommy. Joel thanks her with a kiss on her head and then he’s off to the kitchen. Ellie lingers, touching the pen in her pocket, wondering if she has enough time to draw something on Tommy before Joel notices she didn't follow him—

“Ellie.” 

Ellie rolls her eyes and leaves Tommy to sleep, going to the kitchen where Joel has strapped the twins into their high chairs. 

“You got x-ray vision old man?” 

“Yeah. Comes with bein’ a parent,” Joel gives her a conspiratory grin and nods towards a drawer, “‘sides, Maria’s got some permanent markers in there.” 

Ellie giggles. She watches Joel feed the twins, hands steady and gentle with each spoonful. 

“You wanna help?” 

Ellie steps up, trepidation humming in her chest. She’s never had cousins and she doesn’t want to fuck it up. But she copies Joel’s every move and soon Leon is happily eating from the spoon she lifts to his mouth. 

— — —

Ellie watches Joel cook, her notebook spread out on one corner of the kitchen island she and Joel built together. He’s making chicken, quinoa, and green onion croquettes, shaping them into fat ovals by hand. As she brainstorms ideas for the school science fair, she idly traces the J.M. and E.W.M. she and Joel carved on the butcher block prior to sealing the wood.  She loves evenings like these, where they can both do their thing in close proximity, sharing each other’s presence. 

There’s a series of knocks at the door; two quick raps followed by a long one. Tommy strolls into the kitchen seconds later, dropping a kiss on Ellie’s head in greeting. Most of the time he stops by a few minutes before dinner just to mess with Joel — he’ll flick the lights, untie Joel’s apron, slide the spice jars just a few inches out of reach. Today he has eyes only for the freshly fried croquettes.

“Smells good hermano. Gimme a taste?” 

Joel breaks a piece off one croquette and pops it into Tommy’s mouth. Ellie laughs, curious, amused, 

“Gotta get fed like a baby Tommy?”

Tommy just grins at her, not the least bit embarrassed. “No need to be a jealous jelly just cause I got to try some and you didn’t.” 

Ellie deliberately reaches over and plucks a croquette off the drying rack and stuffs it into her mouth. Tommy laughs. 

“Alright, go wash up you two,” Joel interrupts, turning to fry up the last of the food, “Maria’ll by soon and we can eat.” 

Tommy makes sure to lean towards Joel’s good ear before he loudly says, “Yes chef!”  

— — —

The thing is, maybe Ellie is a little jealous. She watches Joel feed Tommy and vice versa a few more times over the following weeks. Neither man makes a big deal out of it and she infers that the action has nothing to do with age or ability but everything to do with familiarity, intimacy, love. Culture too, she knows, from subtly questioning Maria. And, she reasons, the five years between them would’ve made Joel old enough to help feed Tommy as a toddler. Still, she can’t help but feel a little left out. 

But as amazing as Joel is, he’s not a mind reader. So if she wants in on this particular Miller custom, she’s going to have to ask for it. 

She works up the courage on a warm Saturday afternoon when Joel is making her favorite — empanadas. She doesn’t even pretend to read her book, joining in on the preparation instead, which never fails to make Joel smile. She waits until he’s fried the second batch and the first has cooled and drained enough to be ready. Then she nudges him, looks up at him, and borrows Tommy’s words, 

“Give me a taste?” 

Joel’s eyes are suspiciously shiny as he breaks a piece off an empanada and feeds it to her. 

— — —

It becomes almost unconscious as the days and weeks go by. Ellie and Tommy turn it into a competition, where they encourage Joel to throw bits of food up into the air so they can catch it in their mouths. Joel resists at first, warning them they’re gonna choke, but he gives in to their combined pressure. 

There’s a point too, when Ellie is helping Tommy in his garden, that she asks him for a taste of the fresh grape tomatoes they’ve just picked and rinsed. Tommy obliges with the same awestruck look Joel had the first time and Ellie calls him dramatic as she wraps him in a hug. 

— — —

Ellie wakes to the sound of the shower running, which wouldn’t be an issue if it wasn’t two in the morning. She’s up and out of bed in an instant, warning bells going off in her head. Light spills out from under the bathroom door, bright in the dark hallway. She knocks on the door. 

“Joel?”

No response. She gives it a couple of seconds before she opens the door only to be greeted by thick, warm steam. Joel’s sitting on the edge of the tub, massaging the sides of his head along his sinuses. His hands are shaking. 

Ellie does her best to swallow her worry. 

“It’s a little early for a sauna experience isn’t it?” 

Joel finally notices her. He looks tired and scared. Ellie immediately closes the space between them and puts her hands on his shoulders, making sure he really is present and seeing her before she moves them up to cradle his cheeks. He’s warm, even more than could be explained by sitting in the small bathroom with the hot water running. 

A flu’s been going around Jackson, taking people down left and right. It seems like it finally caught up to Joel. Ellie winces, guilt sour in her stomach — she’d had it last week, had she given it to him?  

“’M alright baby girl. Go back to bed.” 

Joel had taken care of her day and night, made her his mom’s caldo de pollo, a delicious soup that had been the only thing she’d been able to stomach. Like hell is she leaving him to his own devices now. 

“You’re way too smart to think I’m just leaving you like this.”

“Ellie—”

“I’ll be right back okay?” 

And before he can argue any further, she plants a kiss on his forehead and rushes out of the bathroom. 

Getting Tommy is easy. Since becoming a father he's been a light sleeper and he answers his door well before Ellie thinks to use her spare key to go inside and wake him. He follows her back to her and Joel’s place, getting ahead of her on the stairs due to his longer stride. He gets Joel up with some fuss and Ellie leaves them to it when Tommy announces Joel’s damp pajamas have to go. 

Ellie heads back downstairs and beelines straight to the fridge. Thankfully, there’s still some caldo left. She pours the soup into a saucepan and starts heating it on the stove. 

Tommy comes downstairs about fifteen minutes later, exasperation and sadness on his face. For a moment it looks like he's debating what to tell her but a fierce glare from her gets him to spill the full story. How Joel had been feeling off the last couple of days (which they both know is likely an underestimation) and how he'd woken in the middle of the night feeling so horribly congested he’d thought he’d lost his hearing entirely.

Ellie wonders how long he sat there feeling terrified and finds her hands curling into fists. Anger is easier to hold onto than heartbreak. 

“Why couldn’t he just say he was feeling like shit?” She asks. 

“It’s got nothin’ to do with us, Ellie.” Tommy answers, cutting through to what she really wants to know in that way she always finds annoying, “He’s had to carry a lot on his shoulders. A lot to swallow up and go through alone. Long before you came along and before I was old enough to notice. It ain’t fair to any of us, him included, but we can help him see there’s a better way of doing things now.”

Ellie takes this in. It makes sense, but she doesn't have to like it.

“So are you saving your lecture for when he gets better? Cause I have a bunch of things I want to add.”

“Oh yeah, he’s in for a good one, don’t you worry. I’m gonna use his full name too, just like our mama used to.” 

Tommy pulls her into a hug and Ellie squeezes tight, hoping it gets across how desperately grateful she is he’s there and taking care of Joel isn't all on her. Tommy drops a kiss on her head. 

They go back upstairs, Ellie carrying Joel’s favorite soup mug with the hot caldo and Tommy holding a glass of orange juice. 

Joel is in his bed, hair fluffy from running a towel through it. To Ellie’s relief, he’s entirely alert and looking much better. Good enough to at least appear sheepish, if not a little embarrassed at what he no doubt thinks is excessive fussing on their part. 

“Alright, you got two choices now — caldo or OJ.” 

“And I don’t mind spoon feeding you,” Ellie adds, squaring up next to Tommy, “I have plenty of practice.”

Joel’s eyes narrow, “Since when’d you two get so chummy?”

“Carin’ for the same idiot brings people together like you wouldn’t believe.”

Joel realizes he’s fighting a losing battle. “Fine. Gimme the soup.” 

Ellie passes over the mug. Joel makes it through most of it before he holds it back out to her, too tired to continue. Ellie sets it on the nightstand before flopping onto the bed to the right of him, making it clear she has no intention of leaving. Joel just rolls his eyes but he can’t hide his smile as he settles in around her like usual. 

Tommy turns off the lamp but he makes no move to leave. Instead, he pushes at Joel's shoulder. 

“Scoot over.”

“Tommy, what the hell—”

Tommy simply makes space for himself on Joel’s left while Ellie tries to muffle her laughter against the pillow. 

“Tommy you got someone to cuddle with. She’s probably waitin’ for you. In your own damn house.” 

“And miss this chance to be the big spoon? No way. Now hush up and enjoy your time in this wonderful Miller Williams sandwich.” 

Joel grumbles some more but he makes no move to escape them.

“Hey Tommy, why didn’t the sick person get the joke?” 

“Why?”

“Because it flu over his head.” 

Tommy chuckles. 

“Hey Ellie.”

“Yeah?”

“I too have a joke about the flu. But I hope you don’t get it.”  

Ellie and Tommy laugh together. Joel holds out for a few more seconds before he joins in. 

"Jesus you two are a goddamn menace."

"You wouldn't have it any other way, big brother."

Joel pulls both of them closer. "Damn straight."

Ellie can’t help herself, "Hey. I'm right here."

And that sets them all off again.

[tloumaddy]

TLOU III THEORY - there are things that wouldn’t make sense in this theory, but i just want to share anyways for fun.

so, naughty dog posted a thanksgiving post, and in it you see what i’m assuming to be the grass outside Dina and Ellie’s farmhouse, or it looks similar to grass in Santa Barbara. So tlou 3 announcement soon?

Anyways. At the end of tlou 1, Joel decides to save Ellie instead of making the cure, and kills plenty of fireflies in the process. So, there is no cure. We know that Ellie is angry about this, and she probably would’ve gone and found the fireflies herself to make the cure, had they still existed. Now, there’s a theory that Ellie might be the first playable character in tlou 3, and in tlou 1&2, the first playable characters have also been the first main characters to die. Stay with me. At the end of tlou 2, Abby and Lev find the fireflies again as they have started to regroup. So i believe that tlou 3 will possibly follow Abby and Lev and the reformation of the fireflies. What if they find a surgeon who is on the same level as Jerry, and they think they can make a cure. Abby knows that Ellie is immune, and maybe Ellie might hear rumours about the fireflies regrouping. Maybe this time, Ellie is willing to give her life for the cure, and no one is there to stop her. That’s basically my theory.

However, I don’t think this would actually work. Humanity and society are too far gone to go back. There’s no way people would willing want to go back to civilisation when they can do whatever the fuck they want. Also, communities like Jackson have a good thing going, why would they want to go back to the old world when they do perfectly fine on their own for free? Also, if a cure was made, then it would only work on those who had been bitten but not yet turned. I’m not sure how the cure would actually would but i’m assuming it would make them immune like Ellie. But it would not work on the already turned, like clickers and bloaters - as they’re just too far gone. So even a cure was made, then there would still be infected. ANOTHER point, is that the cure would not be distributed fairly. The fireflies would be the ones in possession of the fires, but i don’t think they’d willingly give the cure to, FEDRA for example. Or even if they did, then i’m pretty sure FEDRA would not just be handing out the cure to anyone and everyone. No. They’d just use it as another method of control.

Anyways, just thought it share my thoughts.