i dont know i just find it really interesting this whole "wanting to protect/ hide things from" lines are being combined
like , i try to understand jon and i can almost see how his thought process makes sense taking into account that martin never does want to hear the statements (and admitting after the one exception that it didnt help) . but i think jon might be using martin as an excuse (as we were shown he could do in the fire escape ep, while explaining why he didnt go after nolan)
i think we can all agree that jon feels very guilty about the apocalypse, which is completely understandable, (whenever u think hes innocent or not non standing). he was a central piece, The Archive, and his voice , his mouth opened the door to the reality they are now living in . i think jon believes that its bad enough martin has had to see some things, he might as well try to filter the things martin cant actually see
and i think that can be linked to the whole "other people have had it worse during the apocalypse" bit we've seen these last eps. it might be true in a purely objetical point of view but the thing about pain and trauma is that it isnt objetical, its subjetical, it happens to you, its your experience and nobody can tell you how to feel about it. but it is understandable if what jon means is something along the lines of "other people have had it worse / you have to be okay" . jon himself said he wouldnt let the fears hurt martin and maybe he feels that he if acknowledges that hurt he might be accepting that he isnt all-powerful even being what we could agree is the most powerful avatar at the moment . so he needs martin to be doing better than the rest
but in that case he is also missing the point. i think we can all agree that not wanting to hear the statements =/= not wanting to know. i mean, theres a huge difference between listening to francis' whole 863th tragedy act complete with pauses for laughter and all , and having jon tell him "this is the web's realm, the victims are been controlled and humilliated in front of an audience" or something along those lines.
but , and heres the thing that interests me the most, not only he might be missing the point about "wanting to know" but also in that case he might be missing the point of martin as a person. i mean , we've seen martin , we know he wants to help. one of my favorite lines of him ever was that thing he told tim "and if we all get to be happy it wouldnt be the end of the world" , i just think theres a strenght in having hope in the face of pain and loss , but thats for another post
what i mean is that this is martin k blackwood , martin "told georgie off when she said she wouldnt put herself on the line for jon or anyone else" blackwood— not saying he was right, im rather w georgie on that , im just saying that it is interesting how he obviously didnt agree, how he might as well hadnt even thought about that option. of course he wouldnt leave, not as long as there was some way he could help . hes been trying to be there as much as he could since the beginning and learning that he doesnt have to "light himself on fire to warm other people" doesnt change that fact. and jon filtering what he tells him , or worse, not telling him anything at all takes away that from him . he cant help if he doesnt know how , he cant help if he doesnt know whats going on
and with all this i dont mean jon is a bad partner or boyfriend or even a bad friend , im just saying it is interesting and that "being powerless" line has me very excited as a web!martin enthusiast now lets see where it gets me
