#tme asks

[villanevehaus]

hihi !!! im here w some tme asks hehe :3

1. in regards to Eve back injuries, I was a bit confused, is it just the bullet from when Villanelle shot her and the surgery, or does she have another one?

2. ok this is probably a stupid question but when you write “Eve doesn’t think of xyz” (i.e. Villanelle or something) do you mean that she actually is thinking of it? I figured it means she actually is thinking it and just in denial herself, but I realized what if im totally missing the mark and isn’t it just means what it is, that’s she’s not thinking of it. But I just wanted ask. Sorry if this is a silly question 😭😭😭

3. theres one quote from chapter 27: XVIII where Villanelle and Eve are talking, Villanelle says: “I suppose that’s why farmers don’t name the livestock they intend to slaughter,” Villanelle's inhale is quick, “and the difference between ‘love’ and ‘meat’.” I was a bit lost on what exactly she meant by this, would you be able to expand more on this metaphor please? I would love to hear some more about it :)

Thank you so much and have a lovely day! <3

YAAAAAAAY HELLO !!!!!!

1. yea youre right, it's the bullet from when vil shot her as well as from her surgeries after it- shrapnel removal and reconstruction. i went off of this excellent post and then amped it up a bit with some more research into the fallout of those injuries!

2. you were right again!! she is TOTALLY not thinking about [xyz] no way

3. this is a bit more of a complicated answer for a very excellent question but put simply, vil is reflecting on her relationship with eating people, jane scarlett hobbs' relationship to eating people, and the more general idea of living things as food- how can you love something you've just consumed?

got long oops

earlier in that scene eve is asking whether hobbs ever saw abigail as "anything more than meat" and then asking if, essentially, she really would eat her beloved daughter, implying that there cannot be "loved meat" as the two are opposites- if you love something, you couldnt possibly eat it, and if you've eaten something, you clearly didn't love it. it's not like eve cares about the cow that went into her steak.

farmers tend to not name livestock they intend to slaughter because it gives the animal some sort of imposed personality and is transformed from "cow #32 to be slaughtered" (meat) to "cow with a name that i picked for it that now i dont want to slaughter because thats my friend, named cow" (love). naming an animal you know youre going to slaughter will only make it harder to do so, so they remain unnamed

villanelle, however, knows full well that you can eat things you love. she has the same feelings about her having eaten uncle and vilen that she ascribes to hobbs' desire to eat her daughter; thanks to the consumption of these two people she in one way or another loved, no part of her exists without a part of them- they are and forever will be with her. although she didn't actually succeed in eating abigail, that's what hobbs was chasing when eating other girls that look just like her- eat her, and she'll always be with her.

whatever victims vil eats and the girls that hobbs ate were therefore meat (no personal relation, destined for slaughter- cow #32). abigail (named cow) is loved- but still, despite her being loved, a cow that could go for slaughter.

[villanevehaus]

new chap was SOOO good. i love all eve's questions and prep and then they run into the WRONG ex at the symphony. incredible.

i really really like how theyre navigating vil's boundaries, the push-pull-panic of that feels so deeply real and theres a care to how the characters act & how you write it thats really really nice, and i like the complexity of it bc sometimes you can want something and it feels good and it STILL makes you miserable/upset/etc afterwards and that doesn't necessarily mean it was bad, just hard. bc intimacy is complicated and peculiar and individual even without the complication of trauma, though it doesnt seem like vil truly thinks of what she's dealt with as that.

ALSO. i love the swap to second person when she's dissociating that was SOOO fun. so fun.

OZZY !!!

fr tho she was so excited at the prospect of running into vil's ex that she completely forgot that she too has an ex they could run into

push-pull-panic is the perfect description of what they're doing and what vil is experiencing! i keep just reading over the rest of ur ask and being like yes exactly exactly you get it. this guy gets it. of course ozzy gets it! and its true despite vil's profession she's very reticent to actually confront the [gestures to hélène] of it all as something that was years of sustained trauma as opposed to just a shitty non-ex being shitty.

YEAAAA i had sm fun playing w her dissociation and second person

[villanevehaus]

Hi Haus, i looooooove tme. Its just one of my fave stories and i think about it allll the time, theres just so many layers to it!! So i read it all like a month ago in 2 days and ive read it twice more. My burning questions which i obviously know you can't give spoilers too, but who is Mortale and is it another one of Vil's alternates or is it just someone else entirely unrelated, that perhaps Vil will be jealous of in the future? Maybe she will kill Mortale for Eve and what they did to Bill? Actually the more i type, the more it makes sense she will be jealous if Mortale is not her. Someone else who makes Eve feel like that......

Also, when they first had sex and Eve touched her, how did Vil stop herself from, like the second time, from potentially killing her? A la escort she had. I assume that this is a risk with Vil?

And when is Eve going to realise she is obsessed with Vil and they are not just "friends" i mean, she has soooo much fear of committment but she wants sooo much. She wants to know everything, have everything but also wont give Vil what she wants. Like a kiss! And does Eve feel ANY remorse over simple killings, like Vil killing Abigail's friend - does that affect her at all, or is she so enthralled by violence she doesnt care? Anyway just wanna say thanks SO MUCH for this story, youre AMAZING and i cant wait for ch 35!!!

hihihihi !!! i am so glad you enjoyed it sm i am always enthralled by people who read it in such a short amount of time bc of the sheer wordcount like u had to be locked tf IN

alas, no spoilies, but i like all your musings ab mortale and vil and jealousy!! it's fun to see where people's brains have gone with what ive done so far

i explore more of eve's transgression past vil's boundary (which tbf eve didnt know ab at the time) in ch35 so stay tuned for that! short answer is tho it's not so much as a reflex or risk- she didn't kill lillian/not-eve bc she tried to touch her, she killed her because she was angry and wanted to have something she couldnt (eve)- as it is a reaction to disrespect.

idk what you mean eve is being very normal about her new friend god forbid a woman be interested in someone cool and unique and interesting and unlike anyone else and also really really really sexy

altho the reader doesnt, eve doesnt know that vil killed maybeth! only vil knows that actually, everyone else in universe has assumed it's nick boyle

[villanevehaus]

Tme- whose perspective is more difficult for you to write in?

HI DASH ANON MISSED U

theyre both challenging in their own ways, honestly the real difficulty is switching from one to the other. the vocabulary i use when writing eve is different than the one i use when writing vil and it takes a second to kind of return to the other character's voice- i often reread previous chapters to feel them out again and it helps !

the thing that's challenging about eve is her internal tension of basically "no take only throw" with what she wants bc i feel like writing it requires a balance that doesnt end up reading like "ugh why doesnt she just GO for it if she wants it so bad"

vil is challenging bc she's so multi-layered (and as of ch35, more multi-layered than she knows) and it's tricky to strike a balance that feels both realistic and natural

[villanevehaus]

WAIT, Villanelle uses make up to masculinize her face?! Why didnt you mention it sooner, I never thought of it, even though it would totally be something she would do, probably even in canon, if we are being honest. Also, has Vilanelle ever done it in your fic before, but you just havent mentioned it? If yes, was it only before she met Eve? Now, I NEED a scene where Villanelle shows Eve how she does it, or maybe surprises her at a date with it!

she does indeed! she's used it in the fic before both before and since meeting eve; it's really just something she does to subtly change her features here and there, not enough for me to feel it necessary to point out "vil's wearing masculinizing makeup", though i might say her cheekbones are more severe or her eyes seem less sharp. eve's never noticed it before, which means it's working as vil intended

[villanevehaus]

based on ur sadness i have now adjusted the portrait -> (•́ ᴖ •̀)

thank u this really captures my current essence

[villanevehaus]

haus I would like to politely and very calmly enquire what your latest #dear docs MEAN am scared and I feel like I can hear ur muhaha from space please see portrait of yourself in this moment —> ( •̀ᴗ•́ )و ̑̑

I LOVE THIS PORTRAIT OF ME !!! i am frowning tho sad to be doing what i am doing

[villanevehaus]

Chilian made my stomach DROP omg, Villanelle is sooooo PTSD. She’s just a baby but she’s gonna get herself caughtttttt :((((

SHE ISSSSS she is so... ogh... miss problems haver extraordinaire