(408): I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.

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(408): I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
(616): Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
(602): I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
(307): I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
(926): Dude, I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
(415): I thought you didn’t have a dog??
(926): Exactly.
(609): NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
(203): You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
(860): It grows back stronger each time.