Texts From Last Ninjago

When "Texts From Last Night" meets "Ninjago", aka "I'm not even slightly sorry (okay, maybe a little)".

[textsfromlastninjago]

(773): I think I sprained my soul last night.

[textsfromlastninjago]

(646): You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.

[textsfromlastninjago]

(405): There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.

[textsfromlastninjago]

(512): The only thing the cop asked me is..... "How are you still alive?"

[textsfromlastninjago]

(617): I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.

[textsfromlastninjago]

(773): Dude, I'm not sure whose apartment I woke up in, but I just showered here and their shampoo is phenomenal.

[textsfromlastninjago]

(817): Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?

(1-817): You weighed it?

[textsfromlastninjago]

(973): He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.

[textsfromlastninjago]

(224): As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.

[textsfromlastninjago]

(405): Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again

[textsfromlastninjago]

(206): It's all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.

[textsfromlastninjago]

(405): This strobe light makes my body turn on and off.

[textsfromlastninjago]

(709): Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day.

Submitted by Anonymous.

[textsfromlastninjago]

(817): All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning.

[textsfromlastninjago]

(705): What are the signs of a concussion? Please don’t freak out.

[textsfromlastninjago]

(408): Your text makes more sense read in reverse.

[textsfromlastninjago]

(651): It’s like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.