Do you know that scene in 'Regular Show" when Rigby tells Mordecai that his dating someone? You know, this one.
https://youtu.be/mTj87DvP0zE?si=dHh1sLPRuU5AA7RU
Right, so this is the exact same way I Imagine Sal telling his gang about him and his S/O. Right so you can just do whatever with it, you can turn it into a fic, use it in one of your other request, or just don't do anything with it. I just wanted to rant ig💀
OK GUYS PRETEND IM READING MY REQUESTS AND NOT BUSY!!!
this is a short one and is a heavily silly one!! I guess this can go with for popular reader AU! (modern au? idk i make a zoom reference)
masterlist
synopsis: gang minus ashley (supposed to be a dude hang out until the reader crashes it) finds out youre dating sal. Larry is as dramatic as fucking always.
“Dude,” Larry groaned, voice raspy like he’d just woken up which he had, two hours ago. “I think I’ve hit a new low.”
Todd didn’t even look up. “You say that so often bro.”
“No, no, this one’s different,” Larry muttered, dragging a hand down his face. “I stayed up late watching compilations of goth girls with nose rings reading poetry last night. I don’t even know why. My brain’s starving, bro.”
Sal snorted softly, while drawing. “You’re unwell.”
“I’m deprived, man,” Larry said, dragging himself into a slouched sit up. “I haven’t been touched in, like, months. Not even accidentally. I brushed hands with some chick at 7 Eleven and popped a big one.”
Todd grimaced and finally looked over. “You need help.”
“I need a miracle,” Larry said, pointing between them like he was conducting a funeral. “I’m surrounded. Whores to the left of me ” he gestured to Todd, “virgins to the right ” he tossed a finger toward Sal, “and here I am, balls dry and brain fried.”
Todd pushed up his glasses. “Being in a committed relationship with Neil does not make me a whore.”
“tell that to neil, i think he would say otherwise” Larry replied, picking up a cold chicken nugget from the coffee table and eating it without hesitation.
“That’s private.”
Sal blinked. “youre actually so gross man”
“Don’t act surprised,” Larry said, pointing a chicken finger at him. “You’ve got that hopeful little ‘I believe in true love’ look in your eye. It’s disgusting.”
Sal gave a noncommittal shrug. “I just think you find the right person when the time’s right. Someone who sees you. Who, like, actually wants to sit in your mess and love you anyway.”
“Okay, Plato,” Larry scoffed. “You say that like someone’s gonna come knocking on the door and say, ‘Wow, Larry, I love how you smell like weed and sweat. Let me fix you.’”
Sal offered a small smile. “Maybe they will. You never know.”
Larry stared at him, deadpan. “Dude. No offense, but I’m not taking dating advice from the other virgin in the room.”
Sal opened his mouth like he might respond, then just shrugged again. “Fair enough.”
“Like, I’m dying out here,” Larry groaned, tossing his head back. “I’m the whole package! like you both think I am!”
Todd was trying not to laugh now. “You are… impressive.”
“Don’t parronize me, Todd. You’re out here getting laid between being a smart fuck and fucking smart and I’m just trying to remember what it feels like to make eye contact with someone who isn’t in a Zoom lecture.”
“You haven’t been in a Zoom lecture for months,” Sal said helpfully.
“Exactly!” Larry snapped. “I’m practically a ghost!”
Todd sighed, rubbing his temple. “You do realize that you could… I dont know, go outside and meet someone, right?”
Larry leaned forward with a dark grin. “thats not in the cards mate”
Sal let out a laugh that made Larry smirk. “dude then that's fully on you”
“Thank you,” Larry said proudly. “I may be dying inside, but I’m still funny. That’s all I’ve got.”
“Maybe you should try actually dating instead of just flirting with sad bookstore cashiers and girls who sell crystals on Instagram,” Todd muttered, standing to stretch.
“I like sad girls!” Larry defended. “They’re mysterious. not to manic pixie dream girl these girls but fortunately for them, it makes them on my radar, they've seen things”
“They’ve seen you,” Sal muttered under his breath, grinning.
“Exactly. And they ran,” Todd added.
Larry flopped over. “You’re both cruel. I open my heart and you throw shade.”
“much needed shade,” Todd muttered.
“literally shut the fuck up” Larry said with a shrug. “Anyway, if either of you know anyone hot, weird, emotionally damaged, and preferably into aliens or tarot, please send them my number.”
Sal gave him a look. “You say that like you’re a good investment.”
“I could be,” Larry corrected.
Todd rolled his eyes. “dinner could come faster if you shut up.”
“mmmm sure,” Larry said, suddenly perking up. “And if it’s pizza, I’m sitting next to you and giving you a personal special gift.”
“God, please don’t,” Todd muttered
Sal stretching. “We’re getting you a hobby.”
“Sex was supposed to be my hobby!” Larry called after them.
Sal blinked slowly, coming back from his stretch. “Dude, calm down.”
“I won’t!” Larry flailed his arms dramatically.
Todd shifted just enough to rest his chin on his hand. “You have issues.”
“I have needs, Todd. Human ones. I’m touch starved and mentally unstable. It’s a great combo if you’re into damaged goods, but apparently no one is!”
Sal sighed, still sketching. “Maybe you need to stop going after people who are guaranteed emotional disasters.”
“Oh, and what would you two know about my kind of dating?” Larry snapped, voice getting sharper. “Todd, you skipped the trauma part and jumped straight into cozy domestic bliss with Neil like it’s some damn romcom. And you ” He jabbed a finger at Sal. “You’ve got the dating experience of a damp napkin. Don’t lecture me on romance when your only action comes from drawing mysterious girls in your sketchbook like it’s 2005.”
Sal’s pencil froze for half a second. Larry leaned back, huffing, muttering under his breath. “God, even my insults are sad now.”
But Sal didn’t respond. He slowly set the pencil down and looked up. The room was quiet.
Larry glanced up. “What?”
Sal gave Larry a long, tired look. His voice was low and calm. “Actually, smart guy, I have been dating someone.”
Larry froze. “What?”
Sal shrugged once. “Yeah.”
“…Bullshit.”
“I’m serious.”
“No. No, you don’t just drop that like it’s nothing. Who? Who the hell would date you?” Larry excitedly looked at him. “No offense, but if i were into you, I would but that’s because we match each others freaks, who else would?”
Sal leaned forward slightly. “It’s Y/N.”
Larry blinked. Todd looked like he was trying not to visibly flinch. Larry sat up a little straighter. “I’m sorry what?”
Sal nodded, a little awkwardly but without backing down. “Yeah. It’s been a little while now.”
“You’re telling me… Y/N. Our Y/N. The only normal person who tolerates our lame asses. That Y/N.”
“hey im normal”
“youre literally not todd”
“Yes.”
“And you’re dating her?”
Sal just nodded again.
Larry slumped back into the couch like he’d just been slapped across the face with a cold fish. “Unbelievable. I am literally in hell.”
“It wasn’t a secret,” Sal added quickly. “We were just… taking it slow. Didn’t want to make it weird.”
“Didn’t want to ” Larry laughed, raspy little noise. “Bro. Everything is weird. You should’ve led with that like, weeks ago! That changes the entire dynamic! I’m out here crying about not being loved while you’re sneaking off to make googly eyes at the one decent human being left in our orbit!”
“It’s not like I did it to spite you,” Sal muttered.
Todd held up a hand. “Okay, let’s not turn this into a thing ”
Larry ignored him. “You didn’t even tell me! ME. im highkey offended.”
Sal actually looked a little guilty. “I didn’t know how to bring it up.”
“’Hey Larry, stop crying into your ramen, I’m dating the coolest person we know!’ That’s how you bring it up!” Larry exclaimed.
Todd muttered under his breath, “You’re being a little dramatic.”
“I earn my drama,” Larry hissed. “You guys are all out here winning at love, and I’m over here making up scenarios in my head.”
Sal’s voice was quieter now. “I get it. I’m sorry I didn’t say anything.”
Larry let out a long, exhausted sigh. “Nah. Nah, it’s fine. I’m happy for you, man. Seriously.” He looked off to the side and added, “I’ll just go sacrifice a lock of my hair to the moon goddess or whatever the hell it takes to not die single.”
Sal chuckled. “Want help with that?”
“Not from you, traitor.. You don’t belong in my trenches anymore.”
Sal offered a faint, slightly guilty smile. “youll find someone ”
“I know,” Larry mumbled. “its just so rough”
The three of them fell into silence again Larry sighed, dragging a hand through his hair. “Whatever. At least I still have pizza.”
“I actually thought we would warm up some leftovers” Todd pointed out.
Larry stared blankly into the void. “I have nothing.”
then the front door creaked open.
“Hey, losers!” came Y/N’s familiar voice. The warmth in her tone was immediate, She kicked off her shoes in the hallway with a thunk, holding a tote bag full of snacks and energy drinks. “I brought sugar and caffeine. Prepare to worship me.”
Larry didn’t even look up. “Oh, look what the cat dragged in.”
Y/N paused, eyebrows knitting in confusion. “What’s with the tone?” She walked in further, holding out the snacks proudly. “I got those weird sour gummies you like, Larry.”
“Oh, wow,” Larry said, voice dripping with sarcasm. “Sour worms. Truly, you do care.”
Sal was now refusing to make eye contact with her, suddenly very invested in the corner of his page. Todd, meanwhile, was watching the scene unfold like it was a sitcom. Y/N squinted at all three of them. “…Did someone die?”
“Not someone,” Larry muttered, resting his chin on his knees. “Just my faith in friendship. And honesty. And romantic transparency. But whatever.”
Y/N blinked. “Okay. Definitely weird vibes going on here.”
“Is it?” Larry asked, dramatically pulling the blanket tighter around his body like he was the heartbroken lead in an indie film. “Or is it just the smell of secrets festering in the air?”
“What is going on?” Y/N laughed nervously, looking between the three of them. “Why are you all acting like you just got caught burying a body?”
Todd hummed. “Could say something was buried.”
Sal cleared his throat and didn’t look up. “Larry’s being dramatic.”
“Oh, I’m being dramatic?” Larry whipped around to glare at Sal. “You kept your little romance saga under wraps like it was state security, and I’m the problem?”
Y/N’s smile faltered. “…Romance saga?” Silence. Too long. “Sal?” she asked slowly, eyebrows raised.
“Hmm?”
“Wanna fill me in?”
He shrugged. “Not really.”
Todd let out the tiniest chuckle. Y/N looked back to Larry, confused. “Okay, am I missing something? Why are you glaring at me like I just kicked you in the face?”
“Oh, don’t play coy, Juliet,” Larry hissed. “You think you’re slick. Romeo told me everything”
“did he now?” Y/N laughed, exasperated now.
“i would argue not everything” sal peeps in
Y/N’s mouth opened, then closed. She looked at all three of them, eyebrows furrowed in panic. “Wait. Wait. What do you think you know?”
Larry stood, pointing dramatically. “Don’t play dumb! I know about you and Sal!”
“Oh my god,” Y/N finally muttered. “He told you?!”
“Damn right he told me,” Larry snapped. “Dropped it right in my lap like it was no big deal.”
Y/N flushed. “It wasn’t supposed to come out like this ”
“Oh, you think?”
“I didn’t mean ”
Larry threw up his hands. “Do you know how long I’ve been bitching about being single to both of you?! You could’ve at least let me know you were off the market so I could suffer in targeted isolation!”
“I was going to tell you eventually!” she said, defensive now.
“When? At your wedding?” Larry barked.
Todd: “Oof.”
Y/N rubbed her temples. “Okay. Okay, fine. It’s true. We’re dating. Happy?”
Larry crossed his arms. “Not really. I was hoping one of you was secretly wanting to date me.”
Sal smirked faintly, still not looking up. “Sorry.”
Y/N looked over at Todd. “you're such a bitch”
“Oh, I wasn’t going to help,” Todd said casually. “Watching it click was the highlight of my week.”
Larry exhaled through his nose. “Yeah. So congrats, lovebirds. I hope you’re very happy. I’ll just be in my room. Alone. Googling shit for special time that looks like one of you.”
He stomped toward the hallway like a man defeated. Y/N looked to Sal. “…Should we talk to him?”
Sal shrugged. “Give him fifteen minutes. He’ll come back for snacks.”
Todd held up the sour gummies while opening them. “I’m hiding these until he calms down.”
Y/N sighed and flopped down onto the couch with an audible groan. “dawg i’m so confused, i feel like i just cheated in him.”
Sal finally looked up, his voice quiet and honest. “Ew me too, but at least its out in the open.”
Y/N gave him a small smile. “Yeah. I guess it is.”
Todd smirked to himself. “About time.”
