Petrichor: First Raindrops ch7 - Tonelico x Castoria (Fate/Grand Order)
Content Warnings (whole fic): Non-Con・Major Character Death
Side Pairing: Morgan x Castoria
Part 1 of the Petrichor (Time Loop) series
There's more than one way to prevent someone from becoming a threat - especially for a queen who's grown too indifferent to care about her methods. But what about her past self? A story in which Castoria meets Tonelico before the tragic fate befell Orkney, and joins the future savior on her pilgrimage - unaware Tonelico is the future queen Morgan.
Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence | Character Study | Hurt/Comfort | Non-Con | Dubious Consent | Conflicted Feelings | Power Imbalance | Coercion | Submission | Captivity | Collars | Smut | Explicit Sexual Content | Orgasm Denial | Mild Elements of BDSM | First Time | Time Travel | Temporal Paradox | Time Loop | Amnesia | Training | Sparring (Magi-Match) | Found Family | Rivalry | Slow Burn | Domestic | Domestic Fluff | Bath Sex | Mana Transfer | Cunnilingus | Angst | Emotional Hurt | Doomed Timeline | Doomed Relationship | Doomed Yuri | Self-Sacrifice | Kinda Incest But Not Really | Pseudo-Incest | Castoria is 20 instead of 16 | Tonelico is 19/20 instead of 15/16 | ToneCas fic with 3 chapters of Morgan x Castoria (AO3 won’t distinguish ToneCas and MorCas so take this tag)
Also posted to AO3 (chapter): https://archiveofourown.org/works/81698006/chapters/222603461/ Also posted on Sunset (chapter): https://sunset.femslash.club/works/2423/chapters/3498/
Petrichor series on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/series/5887541 Petrichor series on Sunset: https://sunset.femslash.club/series/162
-> ★ ToneCas Agenda ★ Discord server <-
<- Previous Chapter | Next Chapter ->
7 - Flames
As if a shared bath isn’t enough intimacy for a day — or maybe a whole week at least — Artoria now finds herself in Tonelico’s room, in utter disbelief at the situation unfolding. Tonelico, in a light blue nightgown made of the softest silky fabric imaginable, is patting the extra pillows she added to her bed for this night.
“This should be enough,” Tonelico says.
“I guess…”
It’s not that Artoria minds a sleepover. In fact, when Tonelico suggested one, she agreed without giving it much thought.
Tonelico’s bed looks softer and is bigger — not by much, but noticeably enough. Spending a night in more luxurious comfort than the surprising amount she’s already been granted since she’s been in Orkney is too tempting to pass.
Since when has Artoria become so greedy? Maybe she’s just always had this side to her, but no opportunity for it to arise.
Not that it matters. Artoria sits down on the bed and finds that while it looks softer, it’s a bit harder than hers. Still much better than a pile of hay, though. Definitely not uncomfortable at all. She shifts around and hears the bed creak a little under her weight.
In the meantime, Tonelico places their clothes on her desk, which she’s tidied up already.
Tomorrow, both she and Artoria will embark on their journey, starting Tonelico’s pilgrimage. For that occasion, they’ve gotten new clothes. As much as Tonelico loves her robe, it’s not the most practical for travel.
She opts for more sturdy black leggings and a white dress with gold highlights that reaches about halfway to her knees. The sleeves are still wide to leave much room, as that’s what she’s used to from her robes — comfort that will remind her of home.
A two-layered hooded shoulder cape to provide more warmth if needed, but easy to discard if impractical in the moment. The hood may come in handy to protect against the weather.
Artoria has decided on a more tightly fitting, plainer white dress than Tonelico, decorated with black buttons rather than gold highlights. Similar black leggings and a navy blue two-layered shoulder cape to complete the outfit. A navy hat that Artoria insisted on, but Tonelico had to be convinced would add to the look.
As Tonelico’s fingers run over the fabric of the neatly folded clothes, she wonders how things will go.
Maybe leaving tomorrow is too early. Maybe it’s too late. Would she find her end in Orkney? Or on her pilgrimage, taken out by one of the calamities she’s only vaguely heard of? Maybe an unfortunate accident, or…
“…—co? Tonelico?”
Artoria’s voice pulls Tonelico out of her ruminations.
“You got that look again. What are you thinking about?”
“Nothing,” Tonelico lies with a smile of false warmth. “I’m just looking forward to the pilgrimage.”
She joins Artoria on her own bed. Either believing that she’s got Artoria fooled, or that Artoria would let this topic go. It’s become a habit for the two of them, anyway.
They cannot lie to each other undetected, but still unanimously value the other’s privacy, so they leave things be. No uncomfortable questions asked, no prying.
Pretending to believe pretense is nothing but a miniscule white lie, barely noticeable on a mountain of already piled up lies. As long as the care for each other is genuine, such is the lesser evil.
Artoria lets herself fall flat on her back on Tonelico’s bed with a deep sigh.
“Aren’t you looking forward to it, Artoria?”
“I don’t know.”
Almost like a cat, Artoria stretches her tired limbs before she yawns with her mouth wide open. Tonelico bites her tongue; this isn’t the time to criticize Artoria’s lack of manners.
Not with tomorrow being a big uncertainty. But seriously, how often has she already told Artoria that this is very unladylike behavior? It can’t be that hard to at least cover one’s mouth.
“I wanted to run away and avoid my own pilgrimage, but… This time around, it’s different.”
If she were honest, Artoria would have to admit she’s actually looking forward to it a bit.
It’s ironic, really. When it was her own responsibility and something everyone equally expected of her and loathed her for, Artoria wanted nothing more than to shirk her duties entirely, dreaming of a normal life that seemed unattainable. But now?
It’s not Artoria’s pilgrimage, and she’s not the Child of Prophecy. Instead, it’s Tonelico’s pilgrimage, and Artoria is simply Artoria. It’s her own decision to accompany and support Tonelico — although it’s for her own goal rather than Tonelico’s — and that makes it so much easier.
If she were to fail, nobody would be disappointed. Rather, she’s already failed as Child of Prophecy by being here now, anyway.
The normal life she’s always wanted is something that’s now surprisingly easy to leave behind in favor of a pilgrimage that’s not her own. One that she is confident she can be useful on in her own way.
“Because you’re not alone?”
Artoria considers that thought for a moment, and it puts a smile on her face. Which she shakes off as soon as she notices it, her cheeks taking on a rosy color.
Sure, anything’s less daunting if you have someone by your side, but still. She doesn’t want Tonelico to read into it. Although, admittedly, having Tonelico in her life is something that’s grown on her. She wouldn’t want to miss Tonelico anymore.
“No… Well, I guess. I mean!” Artoria groans in frustration at stumbling over her own words as Tonelico gives a light chuckle. “That makes it less scary, yeah. But also, this time, it was my choice.”
“I see.”
Tonelico lies down as well, turning her face to look at Artoria’s profile. Artoria has come quite a long way. At the start, she was so guarded and pessimistic.
By now she’s considerably opened up and shows more of the personality hidden under layers of negative emotions and a habit of trying to live up to expectations she’s hated ever since.
It warms Tonelico’s heart to see Artoria like this. Carefree, relaxed, and somewhat flustered.
Although Tonelico knows it’s a respite with limited time. Tomorrow will be a crucial day. Artoria must be from a future in which Tonelico’s life doesn’t end tomorrow — a future to a past in which Artoria wasn’t by Tonelico’s side.
Her mere presence here is an unpredictable factor in a fate that’s already too vague to circumvent reliably. A risk.
To ensure her own survival — or at least raise her chances to the maximum she can achieve — Artoria should’ve been removed from the equation. Tonelico knows that. She understands that fact; it’s never been something she questioned.
If it were Morgan, she would at the very least bend Artoria to her will. In the case that doesn’t work, she would kill Artoria without second thoughts.
And yet, Tonelico faltered.
Not as the Fairy of Paradise, who has no right to end the life of a fairy who did no wrong, but as the Rain Witch Tonelico, who couldn’t bring it over her heart to kill someone who is something akin to her younger sister.
At the very least, as long as there is no concrete evidence, no unshakable reason to believe Artoria would be a threat to Tonelico’s dream or survival, Tonelico would refuse to take this life. That’s the conclusion she’s reached back on that day she met Artoria.
Now, at this very moment, she’s glad she made this decision.
If keeping Artoria by her side turns out to be the wrong decision, leading to the demise that was predetermined for Tonelico from the very beginning — if not for the attempted intervention of Morgan from Pan-Human History — then so be it.
Tonelico will accept that fate as the consequence of her own decision. That’s the feeling blooming up in her chest as the recalls the last few months with Artoria. Having those memories is worth risking everything for.
Tonelico knows it’s wrong to feel that way as a Fairy of Paradise; she shouldn’t cling to such worldly affections. Her duty — her dream — stands above all, and if Artoria poses a threat to fulfilling it, then Artoria should be removed from her life. She knows that much, and yet…
A finger prods Tonelico’s cheek. Removed from the spiral she finds herself in whenever she thinks this over, Tonelico snaps back to reality to see Artoria pout as she meets her gaze.
“You’ve been staring, Tonelico.”
“I’m sorry. I was lost in thought.”
‘No point in dwelling on that now,’ Tonelico decides.
She takes off her glasses and puts them on her nightstand, turning off the room’s light with a movement of her hand. It’s getting late, and they have to get up early tomorrow. The earlier they leave, the better. Probably.
Tonelico drapes the blanket over both of them.
Artoria would ask yet again what she’s been thinking about if Tonelico gave her the chance. But her concerns are her own cross to bear, not Artoria’s. An older sister’s job is to protect and take care of her younger sister, that’s what Tonelico learned from Amelia.
“Goodnight, Artoria. Sweet dreams.”
“… Goodnight.”
Artoria turns around to face the wall rather than Tonelico. Although they’re not nearly touching, sharing the bed feels warm and comfortable. She can faintly hear Tonelico breathing behind her; slowly and flatly, probably already asleep. Does Tonelico not have any difficulty finding sleep, unlike herself?
‘I wonder what got her so worried…’
Obviously, Artoria knows it’s futile to ask.
Tonelico avoided the question with such certainty; she would simply say that it’s ‘nothing’ as she usually does and that would be the end of it. Frustrating.
While it was an unbearable burden for Artoria to be expected to fix problems both within and beyond her capabilities, she now finds it so much worse when troubles bothering one she cares about are kept from her.
Artoria genuinely wants to help Tonelico, who’s shown her fake smile more often than her real one the closer they got to the start of the pilgrimage. But there’s nothing she can do. Fairy Eyes can’t read a mind, and for the first and only time in her life, Artoria wishes they could; rather than wishing to not have them at all.
‘No point dwelling on it,’ Artoria thinks.
Searching for more warmth, Artoria moves a little closer to Tonelico, until she feels Tonelico’s warmth against her back. Not long after, Tonelico — asleep or not, Artoria can’t tell — puts her arm over Artoria’s waist.
Artoria tenses up at first. She really doesn’t want to get caught seeking Tonelico’s proximity. But when there’s no further movement and no words, not even a whisper, Artoria relaxes into the embrace.
It’s nice. Pleasantly warm. Tonelico’s scent brings comfort; she smells like home. Maybe, just maybe, this can even keep the nightly terrors at bay. At the very least, Artoria feels protected and safe like this. A feeling she’s never known when she went to sleep.
After a short while, Artoria dozes off into a peacefully deep slumber.
In the morning, Tonelico wakes up to find herself rather immobilized. Sometime at night while they were both asleep, it appears that Artoria wrapped her arms around Tonelico and is still clinging to her tightly.
Tonelico tries to free herself from the iron grip gently but finds the endeavor futile. Artoria is holding onto Tonelico as if her life depended on it.
‘How strong is she?’
Artoria rouses, giving Tonelico faint hope that she’s awake. Ready to start the day. That hopes dies as quickly as it sparks when Artoria only nuzzles her face into Tonelico’s chest with a soft mumble.
“Nnmmh…”
“Artoria? Artoria, it’s morning. Time to wake up.”
“Nngh…”
Tonelico is growing a little impatient. Artoria clearly isn’t entirely asleep anymore, given she reacts almost verbally. Though her intent to stay like this for longer, to laze off in the comfort of bed, is just as obvious.
Luckily, Tonelico has a good idea what would help, given she knows Artoria well enough by now.
“I don’t mind a hug, but I’d appreciate if you didn’t take advantage of my sleep to bury your face in my breasts.”
Immediately, Artoria startles. She goes from half-asleep to fully awake in less than a second, pushing herself away from Tonelico in a poor attempt to save face, as though she could hide this blunder from Tonelico anymore.
“I’m glad that you’re finally awake. Good morning.”
Tonelico’s amused chuckle really gets on Artoria’s nerves. She’s just mocking her, right? How did she end up in that position, anyway? Artoria must have mistaken Tonelico’s boobs for a pillow in her sleep, so she tells herself at least.
“Morning…” Artoria rubs the sleep out of her eyes. “Ah! Right. Happy birthday… That’s what’s said, right?”
“Yeah. Thanks.”
Finally free of Artoria’s hold, Tonelico gets up and stretches her back. She doesn’t know how long they’ve been in this position, but she can feel her body being sore.
Sharing the bed sounded like a sweet idea to make another precious memory to hold on to, just in case, but reality always has a way to crush delightful dreams like this. No, Tonelico still cherishes the morning of waking up with Artoria clinging to her so unabashedly.
The new clothes fit perfectly. They feel natural, almost like a second skin. In front of the mirror in her room, Tonelico stops braiding her hair and combs the braid out with her fingers. This would take too long to keep doing every day on a journey, so she should opt for a simpler hairstyle. Also, something’s missing.
Tonelico takes a black and navy ribbon with golden rims out of a wooden chest she keeps on her dresser. She ties her hair into a ponytail with the ribbon. It’s a different look — less refined and elegant, Tonelico feels.
But not bad at all.
Tonelico can’t help but smile at her reflection in the mirror. Last year for her birthday, she received this ribbon from her mother, the Rain Clan’s head, as a birthday present.
She’d cherished it too much to wear it, too afraid to dirty or rip it in her training. But now that she’s going to leave, Tonelico wants to bring a piece of home, of her family, on her journey with her. Maybe it’ll work as a good luck charm.
Even if it doesn’t, it carries this special sense of nostalgia only an important gift from someone you cherish could.
Artoria is a bit more sluggish in the morning. Although Tonelico wants to exhale sharply at Artoria’s tardiness, she refrains. At least she’s finally gotten dressed by now.
“Shall I do your hair?”
“Sure, if you want to.”
Tonelico smiles as warmth bubbles up inside of her. Artoria never minded letting Tonelico do her hair, but Tonelico knows all too well that this was usually rooted in laziness. That’s the type of fairy Artoria is.
But by now, it’s not only that anymore. Although Artoria doesn’t say so, there’s no need to. Just like Tonelico, Artoria simply enjoys such sweet moments.
There’s nothing special about them. They’re not particularly intimate. And yet, times like these are when the two Fairies of Paradise feel connected in their own shared moment, almost removed from time and space.
After brushing the golden locks, Tonelico takes two hair ties and ties Artoria’s hair into the twintails hairstyle she always wears. Though Tonelico is more meticulous, so none of it looks messy. There are no stray strands found near the hair ties.
Finally, she takes the ribbon she wears with her usual robe and ties it around Artoria’s chest.
“I wear one in my hair. It’s only natural if you wear one as well. Now we match.”
Although Artoria’s — formerly Tonelico’s — is plain black, decorated with a red gem. Still, they’re similar enough. Artoria feels strangely happy about this insignificant gesture.
“Can I keep it?”
“Of course. It’s yours now.”
Suddenly, a loud crash disrupts the peace shared between the two fairies. The ground shakes violently. Artoria trips over her own feet, falling into Tonelico’s arms, who catches Artoria instinctively.
‘… is this…!?’
Tonelico grits her teeth. Too late. She’s too late after all. They should’ve left yesterday. Maybe even before. A thousand thoughts race through her mind simultaneously, most of them focused on how she’s messed up.
“We have to leave. Now.”
Artoria looks at Tonelico in shock. She can tell Tonelico is serious, more serious than she’s ever seen her before. It’s a matter of life and death. Artoria swallows, before she realizes a crucial detail Tonelico missed.
“What about Regina? And Reinhard, and Amelia? And the other fairies!?”
‘What should I do… What’s the right decision!?’
Tonelico curses Morgan for not giving her enough information to know the answer to any of the questions occupying her mind. She must leave. She’ll die if she doesn’t escape, every cell of her body screams that at her.
It’s something Tonelico just knows on an instinctual level.
And yet… Her family is still here. There are voices in and around the castle, none of them pleasant. Something akin to explosions can be heard in the distance, though Tonelico tells herself it’s only her imagination. Tonelico takes her staff.
“Let’s head for the throne room. It’s not far.”
Artoria nods and follows Tonelico as she runs out of her room with a sense of urgency neither of them has felt before. Any second lost could prove disastrous. Passing the windows, they see the outside. The sight isn’t pretty.
Fairies of various clans, both armed and unarmed, running berserk in Orkney. Any Rain Clan fairy unfortunate enough to be spotted is maimed, beheaded, ripped apart. Blood isn’t only flowing, it’s gushing out of wounds that aren’t just lethal, but unnecessarily cruel.
It doesn’t matter if they fight back. It doesn’t matter if they beg for their lives. It doesn’t matter if they cry. The attackers know no mercy. They’re led by bloodlust, a hunger for violence that can’t be quenched, no matter how much blood and guts they spill.
Tonelico grabs Artoria’s hand to pull her along. If she could, she would pry Artoria’s eyes away from this massacre as well, but her hands are tied. She should’ve used her Water Mirror spell. Saving it for the escape, knowing of her limited magic, feels like the wrong choice now.
Her own eyes are trained on the way forward. Tonelico can’t allow herself to acknowledge what’s happening around the castle right now, and surely in the castle as well. It would distract her from what she can still do.
Hopefully, the throne room is still safe. If only she can at least save her family. At least them. Her hand grips Artoria’s more tightly.
Artoria can’t believe what she’s seeing outside of the castle. This past has been peaceful, hasn’t it? Orkney was peaceful. All of a sudden, it’s come to this…?
It’s even worse than the cruelty she knows fairies are capable of. Her mind struggles to keep up with the events. She’s shivering. Whether from fear, anger, or a combination of both, Artoria can’t tell.
In the hallway leading to the throne room, on the last stretch, Amelia stops them. She’s running in a panic, having expected the two Fairies of Paradise to head this way.
“Just what are you two thinking!? You two need to leave Orkney, quickly!”
“What about Father? And Mother? And—”
‘The other fairies of the Rain Clan,’ Tonelico finishes in her head.
She knows the answer.
While the castle has been quiet, and the noise dulled by the walls, it’s become clearer by the minute. The fairies entered the castle not too long ago. No longer limited to outside the castle, the inside must have become a massacre by now as well.
All her senses tell her the truth a part of her refuses to believe even now. The smell of blood, the number of screams decreasing, making room for nothing but battle cries, and orders to ‘find the Fairy of Paradise’.
It’s an all too clear situation. Tonelico’s stomach churns. It hurts.
Amelia simply shakes her head. Though she doesn’t know the current state of the king and queen of the Rain Clan either, their fate is clear. If they are still breathing now, it’s their last or second to last breath.
The Rain Clan is pacifistic down to its core. Even at a time like this, even if they try to defend themselves — they’ll be overpowered with ease. It’s not a battle or a war, it’s slaughter.
Tonelico takes a deep breath, though the smell of death lingering in Orkney makes her wretch. This isn’t the time to lose oneself to emotions and panic, though, so she doesn’t allow herself that luxury.
She can’t.
She has to live, and she has to protect Artoria, whose hand she feels tremble in her own. Whose rage and hurt she can feel radiating.
“I understand.”
As much as Tonelico doesn’t want to do this, as much as she would rather fight all the clans with her bare hands than let her family die — it’s a feat she can’t accomplish. It constricts her heart, but she knows her limits.
“I will go and pretend to be the Fairy of Paradise. They know neither your name nor face. I am sure they won’t be able to tell the difference.”
Tonelico swallows and forces her heart to freeze over, lest she wouldn’t be able to hold back the tears she wants to shed.
The Rain Clan’s princess Amelia, her sister who has been by her side and taken care of her for as long as she can remember, who’s read books to her and taught her how to read — she is set on sacrificing herself for the sake of saving Tonelico’s life, along with Artoria’s.
There’s no anger in Amelia, and even the sadness takes a backseat to her determination to protect her sisters.
Tonelico knows she would never be able to live up to Amelia as an older sister. Nobody would.
As much as Tonelico wants to cling to Amelia now for a reassuring sense of security, she can’t. Amelia’s mind is made up, and Tonelico has to accept her decision.
It’s Artoria who takes issue with this, and it hardly takes Fairy Eyes to see the anger in the short fairy reach its boiling point. She’s held back so far, too overcome by emotions to think or speak, functioning only on autopilot.
“But—”
“Artoria, we don’t have time,” Amelia says sternly. “Tonelico, you understand the situation, right? Please, take Artoria and leave. You should be able to make it out of the castle unharmed. They won’t be looking for another Fairy of Paradise. For once, I’m glad you have your Water Mirror spell.”
“If we leave now, you’ll—”
Artoria doesn’t get to finish her complaint as Tonelico puts her hand to Artoria’s nape and sends a shock through her system, paralyzing her.
Luckily, Artoria is short and light, so Tonelico can easily carry the immobile but conscious fairy on her back after gently closing her eyelids for her. To keep her eyes from drying, and to shield Artoria from the sights on their way. She’s seen more than enough by now.
Tonelico’s hands are trembling, Artoria notices.
Amelia gives Tonelico a warm smile. She’s glad that her sister catches on so quickly, and that Tonelico is able to make the right call. Even in the worst of hardships. Nothing is won if Tonelico and Artoria die here as well. The Rain Clan lives on with them.
“Thank you, Amelia. I am grateful to you, to Mother, to Father… to all of the Rain Clan fairies. I will never be able to repay your kindness.”
That’s the least Tonelico can say.
There’s nothing she can do. It’s only because of her that these gentle fairies are getting eradicated, if only they hadn’t taken her in… If only she’d considered this possibility rather than focus on herself being the sole target meant to die on this day.
If only she’d left earlier. Way earlier. She may be long dead by now, but the Rain Clan would still live in peace.
Amelia takes a deep breath. She doesn’t have Fairy Eyes, but she’s known Tonelico for long enough.
“Don’t blame yourself. You didn’t choose to be a Fairy of Paradise. We took you in and raised you because we wanted to. Even though it has led to—… We don’t regret it. Mother, Father, and I — even if we knew this would be the outcome, we would still raise you just the same. I know the rest of the Rain Clan feels the same. That goes for Artoria, too. The two of you are fairies of the Rain Clan, just like us.”
Tonelico chokes back tears.
“You grew into a good fairy, Tonelico. We— I’m very proud of you. It’s a shame that we won’t be able to watch over your pilgrimage, and see you fulfill your destiny… But Mother was always certain that you would turn this country into a peaceful, beautiful place. As the Fairy of Paradise, you will be just in your judgement. You will bring salvation. I believe in you, too.”
Amelia turns around and collects all her inner strength for the sacrifice she’s about to make.
“I’m glad I don’t have to worry as much about you, since you won’t be alone. I couldn’t have wished for someone better than Artoria to keep you company. I pray that the two of you will make it out of this safely, Tonelico and Artoria. Take care of each other. Live on. For the Rain Clan.”
As Amelia takes off running towards the throne room where the voices seem to pick up, Tonelico turns around and swings her staff. Water Mirror is her forte, and although she cannot cover too big a distance at her current level, it’s how she’s making her escape with Artoria. One change of location at a time.
The few times she finds herself surrounded by fairies lusting for blood, Tonelico doesn’t hesitate to turn her staff into a spear and pierce the hearts of her enemies.
Splattered, foreign blood only feels warm for a moment before it dries. Even with her soul scarred, her heart shattered, and her hands blood-stained, Tonelico is undeterred in her escape from the land of the rain, her grip on Artoria not loosening for even a split second.
Finally, Tonelico reaches a cliff at the far edge of the Rain Clan’s territory. Removed from the spilling of blood and guts. When she turns around, she can see Orkney aflame. The adrenaline in her subsides.
As the rain falls on Orkney, unable to extinguish the flames of war and hatred, Tonelico’s tears finally fall as she sinks to her knees. Within such a brief moment, Tonelico has lost everything she’s held dear so easily.
Everything with one sole exception: Artoria Caster.
Tonelico clings to the still paralyzed fairy for dear life as she wails her pain out of her soul.
After a brief moment, Tonelico catches herself again. This isn’t the time to grieve. They’re still close; this area isn’t safe. She puts Artoria down and cancels the immobilization. Artoria shoots up and glares at Tonelico.
“What was that for!? We could’ve— We could’ve…”
Artoria sees the pain in Tonelico’s eyes. The crystal blue is dulled now. Her hands are covered in dry blood, some of which is clinging to her cheek and hair as well.
The rage Artoria was about to fly into subsides at this pitiful sight. Tonelico feels the same as her, but worse. It’s heartbreaking to see. Even more crushing is that Tonelico forces herself to keep going, as though she’s unaffected.
“We need to go. You can walk on your own, right?”
Tonelico gets up again and starts walking south. She doesn’t wait for Artoria’s response, but Artoria follows.
They strut along the route Tonelico chooses in silence.
Tonelico focuses on her task, her pilgrimage, and finding a place to camp for the night — pushing Orkney and the Rain Clan out of her mind.
And Artoria wants to say so many things, anything to lessen the pain — aware there’s nothing she can do or say to heal Tonelico’s shattered heart.
Artoria’s hopes deflate. How stupid was she? She knows the cruelty of fairies and how beyond saving they are.
This world is a cruel one. It should just perish already.
She’s known that ever since she can remember, and yet Tonelico’s naïve dreams of utopia and determination to make it happen lulled her into the fantasy as well.
Utterly foolish, the two of them. Look where their hopes and dreams got them now.
Keeping her eyes glued to the ground, Artoria suddenly spots a pair of glasses lying in the grass. Carelessly thrown aside. They’re Tonelico’s. Artoria picks them up, but all she sees in front of her is Tonelico’s back, the ponytail swaying side to side as she keeps walking undeterred.
“Tonelico, your glasses…”
“Leave them. I won’t need glasses anymore.”
Somehow, that stings Artoria’s heart. Tonelico is far-sighted, so she’s fine without her glasses, unless she wants to read. The thing she’s loved most — but now she’s given up on that.
It feels like Tonelico isn’t Tonelico anymore, changing into someone marked by despair and suffering, leaving no remains of the fairy she used to be.
Artoria puts Tonelico’s glasses into her pocket. She can’t bring it over herself to leave them behind. It’d be like leaving the Tonelico she knows behind in the ruins of Orkney — a thought too painful to bear.
Once night engulfs them, Tonelico finally settles down in a small forest. She absentmindedly collects firewood and builds a campfire.
They left in such a hurry that they didn’t bring a tent or any luggage. All they have is each other now. Tonelico sits down and stares at the fire, forcing herself to remember the vivid image of her home ablaze, unable to do anything.
Tonelico will burn that image into her mind. And she’ll desensitize herself to this memory at the same time. She will numb the pain and close off her heart.
If the other clans want to stand against the Fairy of Paradise and everyone associating with her, so be it. Tonelico won’t forgive them. She won’t hold back. On this day, they forfeited their lives by killing the Rain Clan.
Artoria isn’t sure where to look anymore. Seeing the fire brings back memories that are way too recent. It hurts.
Seeing Tonelico’s empty eyes is even more painful. Artoria simply looks at her boots.
This morning, they were still new, but after this day of walking, the slightly worn look makes it feel like a more distant memory. As though it wasn’t only hours ago that the Rain Clan was still alive, in peace.
As though it wasn’t only a few hours ago that Tonelico and Artoria were happy, looking forward to taking on Tonelico’s pilgrimage together. At this point, Artoria thinks the fairies deserve Morgan’s rule.
She’s only spent a few months in Orkney, but the Rain Clan was genuinely kind and caring. They were good fairies.
When Artoria remembers she didn’t know of a Rain Clan before meeting Tonelico, she feels sick. She should’ve realized that this clan is unfamiliar to her earlier. She should have told Tonelico, and then maybe—
“Maybe I should have killed you when you appeared.”
The bitter regret leaves Tonelico’s mouth before she can so much as stop herself. Not that she possesses the headspace necessary to mind her words anymore. Her eyes are still trained on the crackling fire, a reminder of the all-to-recent fate that befell the home she loved.
For no other reason but her own cursed existence.
Artoria’s eyes widen in shock. She swallows. The words pierce her heart, their echoes reverberating the pain throughout her whole chest.
As her bleeding heart sinks and her stomach churns, Artoria feels herself choke on words she can’t force over her lips. Holding back the tears that are welling up makes her eyes sting.
Part of her refuses to believe her ears. Another part feels a carnal anger boiling up from the depths of her broken soul. More than anything, it’s simply painful; emotionally and physically.
“W-what…? What did you just say!?”
“… It’s nothing. Don’t mind it.”
Tonelico lies down on her side, her back facing Artoria. She wouldn’t be able to sleep, but her body needs rest.
In this moment, Tonelico wishes for nothing more than her bitter lie to be true. She wishes she’d genuinely believe that Artoria’s death would be for the better.
If only Tonelico felt no attachment to Artoria, she wouldn’t have to endure this crippling fear of eventually losing her as well. Artoria, who is all Tonelico has left, and who doesn’t belong in this time in the first place.
On the other side of the fire, Artoria simply wishes lies couldn’t hurt.
