keith getting railed into next year by lance, sobbing and gasping and whining out "pleasepleaseplease!" and reaching back to spread his cheeks wide so lance can see his hole swallowing up his dick.
lance groans and squeezes his ass possessively, spanking his wailing boyfriend hard on the left cheek. "you like that baby?" lance rasps out, fucking in harder. "mmfuck," keith whimpers, biting his bottom lip. "yes please," he tells him, blinking his teary eyes.
"mmph that's a good boy," lance rumbles, gripping keith's hips harder to yank him back onto his dick. "gonna ruin this sweet little hole, leave it all sloppy," he moans. keith cries out and with that, lance lifts a heavy hand down onto his right cheek to hear the sound again.
Summary: Centuries ago, Earth was destroyed by the Alteans. Survivors were rounded up under the guise of magnanimity and settled in a Space Refugee Colony (SRC). The Altean Colonization Front(ACF) promises a good and peaceful life to all species who follow their guidelines. This is the story of a group of brave people who defied the life handed to them and sought to make their mark.
So I got a request to Keith’s and Lance’s first time. Keith is trans, but I will not be using afab language for him. This was really fun to write and I absolutely love this concept! Keith gets a little insecure, but Lance is reassuring! I hope you enjoy!!
*************************
The full body mirror couldn’t be more of a nuisance at this point, Keith looked back at his reflection, turning his waist. Grumbling about his “rolls.”
“How the hell am I supposed to get rid of these!”
Lance sighs from his place on the bed, “Babe, what are you talking about?”
Keith grumbles, ignoring Lance entirely. Lance sighs again, hoisting himself up, onto his feet. Wrapping his arms around Keith, he kisses the shorter males shoulder.
“Babe. What are you doing?” Their eye’s meet in the mirror, and Lance’s thought clicks.
Keith pulls Lance’s arms off his waist, but Lance turns him and wraps his arms around Keith’s shoulders.
Keith doesn’t look at his boyfriend. Too scared to see disappointment. A small sliver of anger rises in Keith’s chest.
“Let go of me, Lance.” Huffing, Keith tried to pry his boyfriend’s arms off.
Lance doesn’t let go, instead, pulls Keith in for a hug.
“Dammit, Lance. I said let go.”
Lance simply hums and squeezes.
“I’m not letting go until you accept the hug.”
Keith groans, putting his arms around Lance’s torso. After a second, the tension in Keith’s shoulders disappear and Keith feels as if he can actually breathe.
“You’re a dick.” Keith huffs.
The vibrations of Lance’s laugh makes Keith smile.
“I love you, too. Grumpy.”
Keith mumbled something that couldn't be deciphered. Lance decided it probably wasn't anything good.
"Do you want to tell me what's wrong? Or would you rather just cuddle?"
Keith's arms tightened around his torso and Lance knew the answer. Lifting Keith with a huff.
"Heh. Your workout routine has really been working hasn't it?"
Keith smiled slightly, priding himself in the muscle he has attained since increasing his work out routine.
"You really think so?" Keith looked Lance with a hopeful gaze.
Lance smirked. "I know so, babe. I could see the tone of your abs when you were looking in the mirror."
Keith’s smile widened, “Thanks, babe.”
Lance kissed Keith on the forehead, Keith playfully bat him away.
“No kisses for you. You picked me up when I could’ve just walked.”
Lance laughed, dumping Keith onto the couch. Keith landed with a quiet ‘oof,’
“You know,” Lance chuckled, “I’ve been in a cuddly mood today.”
Keith chuckled, “Is that so? I guess that's a good thing.”
Lance climbed into the bed, wrapping his arms around Keith's waist. “It’s always a good thing. And you love it.”
Keith chuckled, putting his hands over Lance’s. “So, how was your day?”
Lance kissed his boyfriend's nape. “Well, I trained with the most handsome man in the universe. And then I had lunch. Lastly, I came into our shared room to find you in a bad mood.”
Keith blew a raspberry, rolling his eyes. “Sounds like a boring day.”
Lance chuckled slightly. “Well, I liked it. I like spending time with my boyfriend. Is that a bad thing?”
Keith hummed in response. “I guess not, but I think I have a good way of making this day a little bit more.... fun?.” Keith flipped over, facing Lance with a smirk.
“Do you want to know what it is?” Keith asked slyly.
Lance’s smirk mirrored Keith’s. “I would love to know what it is.”
Keith slid down the bed without a word, pulling at Lance’s sweats in question. “Well, I was thinking of a little competition.”
Lance nodded. “Oh really? What kind of competition?”
Keith pulled down both Lance’s sweats and boxers, licking his lips. “Well, I was thinking whoever comes first has to clean the winner's lion.”
Lance chuckled, feeling cold air surround him. “Think you can win, Samurai?”
Keith smirked menacingly. “Oh, I know I can. Sharpshooter.”
Keith situates himself above Lance’s face, waiting for Lance to give the signal. “Tell me when you’re- AH! Hey! That’s cheating!”
Lance had licked a long stripe up Keith’s sex, causing the boy to shiver slightly. “Took to long to talk...”
Lance moaned as Keith kitten licked his slit. Lance drew his boyfriend's dick into his mouth and suckled, running his tongue over it.
“Oh, god... Lance. Please.” Keith’s thighs were already shaking from the only little simulation he was getting.
If Keith was going to in this, he had to crack out the big guns. So he relaxed his throat and took about three-fourths of Lance’s dick in one go. He moved his tongue and bobbed his head to Lance’s rhythm.
Lance’s hips stuttered slightly as Keith suckled on the tip. Sliding back down, and using his hand to cover the rest. “God your mouth is so perfect, baby. You like that?”
Keith hummed around Lance's dick, moaning from the praise. Lance went back to eating Keith out, thrusting his tongue in and out, and rubbing his dick.
Lance could feel the throbbing of Keith’s walls. But he could also feel his stomach clench with his climax. All of a sudden, Lance could feel Keith’s throat relax and felt his nose touch the base of his dick.
Lance came down Keith’s throat almost immediately. Gripping Keith’s thighs as he did so.
Keith lifted himself off of Lance’s face. “You’ve killed me. I’m dead. How did you even... You weren’t able to take my whole dick before. How?”
Keith chuckled slightly. “It’s called practice. I win. sharpshooter. You have to clean my lion.”
Lance groaned. “Fine. You win. But, let's take care of you first. I can go for another round in a few minutes.”
Keith huffed slightly. “I’ll never understand your refractory period.”
Lance chuckled as he stroke himself lightly, getting himself ready for his kitten. “So what position do you want?”
Keith thought for a moment. “I’ll be on my back. Feel like a pillow prince tonight.”
Lance nodded, “I’m completely fine with that.”
Keith laid his head on the pillows, spreading his legs. Lance laid on his stomach, continuing his meal. Licking another broad stripe up Keith’s sex, and sucking his dick into his mouth, swirling his tongue and then moving down sucking the juices off of his outer folds.
Keith moaned, pulling lightly at Lance’s hair. “Ah.. right there. sharpshooter. God, you’re so good at this.”
Lance moaned burying his face deeper into Keith, tasting him. Licking another stripe, then sliding two fingers into Keith’s front.
Keith moaned, clenching around those long fingers. Lance thrusted a few times, knowing full well where Keith’s favorite spot. He hit it almost instantly, causing Keith to shudder and moan.
Lance attacked that spot with no mercy and suckled on his boyfriend's dick. “Oh god! Lance! Please! Don’t stop!”
Lance sucked harder, rubbing Keith’s insides so good. Keith’s climax came suddenly, causing him to arch his back.
“Fuck!”
Lance rubbed him through the aftershocks. “That good, huh?”
Keith’s chest heaved, letting the warmth sweep over him. “Yeah. That good.”
Lance smirked, placing a kiss on Keith’s inner thighs. Keith looked down at Lance’s face. “Don’t worry, I can definitely go for another round.”
Lance laughed, pulling himself up to Keith’s face and stealing a kiss. “Good, because that was extremely hot.”
Keith laughed slightly, “Alright, sharpshooter. Let's see if you know how to use that dick as well as you use your mouth.”
Lance smirked, a challenge hanging in the air. He positioned himself, sliding in just the tip. Waiting for Keith to give him the okay.
Keith nodded bracing himself for the stretch. Lance moved another inch, pulling out slightly and then thrusting back in. The slide is surprisingly easy.
“Wow, you’re really wet babe,” Lance smirked, sliding another two inches in. Keith moaned, enjoying the stretch.
“Yeah, and you’re bigger than I thought.” Lance finally bottomed out, not moving to give Keith a chance to adjust.
“Fuck, babe, you’re so tight.” Keith moaned again, clenching around his dick.
“You can move... Please move.” Lance pulled out slowly, both moaning as he did so.
Pushing back in, he increased his speed slightly. Keith moaned, “Faster, please.”
Lance moved faster, but being so gentle. Keith groaned slightly, feeling himself clench again, “Babe, harder. Please.”
Lance smirked, loving the way Keith responded. “You got it, baby.”
Lance thrusted harder, aiming for that special spot, and brushing on every thrust. Keith moaned, wrapping his legs around Lance’s waist. Scratching anywhere he can reach.
“Fuck... I think I’m gonna cum again.” Keith moaned out.
Lance groaned into Keith’s neck, biting and sucking at the flesh he could reach. Moaning with every mark he left on porcelain skin.
“God, you’re so sexy, amor.” Lance moaned into Keith’s ear. Keith moaned at the pet name, clenching around Lance’s dick.
Lance chuckled lightly, “You like that? Like it when I call you love?” Keith nodded, moaning as Lance thrusted harder, hitting his g-spot head-on.
Lance could feel his climax coming, so he started rubbing tight circles on his boyfriend’s dick. The new sensation caused Keith to moan, arching his back.
His orgasm was right there. Teetering on the edge of torture as it built. Lance fucked him harder, hitting all the right spots. Whispering dirty nonsense in his ear.
“Come on, baby. Come for me.” Keith’s thighs locked around Lance’s waist as he came with a shout of Lance’s name. His thighs trembled with overstimulation as Lance fucked through his second orgasm.
Finally, Lance came. His hips stuttering to a stop. Groaning into Keth’s neck.
“Fuck... You did so good baby.” Lance moaned.
Keith winced as Lance pulled out. Feeling cum leak down onto the sheets. Lance laid down, pulling Keith to his chest.
“So... How was it for your first time?” Lance asked.
Keith laughed, “Fucking amazing. You?”
Lance kissed his temple. “It was fucking astounding.”
They both laid there for a moment. Until...
“We gotta take a shower.”
*************
Well! That took for-freaking-ever! But I’m not dead! I hope you liked it! I had such severe writer's block so I doubt it's consistent. I’ve been trying to improve my writing as well, so if anyone has any tips for me, I would love to see them! Thank you so much for reading!
Years after their beak up, Keith finally goes on a date and who should come across his little outing, but the man who broke his heart.
You’ve already read the beginning per my post here but I posted it all together because I felt like it, so just scroll past it if you need to.
As usual, I got derailed. There will be a (probably waaaay more nsfw) bonus to this later if I have anything to say about it though.
---
To set the scene, Keith is in a booth sitting across the table from some cute nameless guy, they’re making polite conversation and Keith is smiling, not really feeling much but the effort is there. He’s been single for years now other than a couple one night stands to scratch an itch that never worked. It was time he got back out here and found someone to love as much as he who should not be named.
But god does he love he who should not be named—
Did. God did. Past tense. No current love. No sir.
So, Keith is doing his goddamn best okay.
And the guy across the table is so sweet and so kind and even pretty attractive— though not as attractive as he who should not be named but uhh let’s face it, that kind of luck was pretty unlikely to happen to Keith again.
Someone as attractive as that man who wasn’t going to break his heart? Yeah. Totally. Totally not real.
Ow.
Okay stop.
“No no I totally agree, it would have been so easy for them to go the right route but they just had to mess it up.” Keith offers to the conversation, fingers tapping awkwardly on the side of the table while they wait for their server to come back with their food.
The guy laughs, and it’s a cute laugh. Cuter even than he who shall not be named because his laugh always sounded so goddamn stupid but—
But Keith fucking loved his laugh. Loved the way he’d look down just before as if embarrassed by how funny he just found something. Loved the way he’d stand around with his jaw gaping like a fish. Loved every stupid thing about that horrible stupid man—
Keith stop, you’re on a date with a cute boy, stop, it’s been years, it’s been actual years, don’t do this to yourself, move on.
Why is he thinking about this dude so much anyway? Is it just the fact it’s a date? It’s a genuine smack in the face to every promise he’d made not to love anyone but that reckless stupid—
Chill. Chill chill chill.
Why does he feel so nervous? So on display, so judged. The guy across the table from him isn’t even trying to mentally undress him, so this uneasy feeling isn’t coming from him.
Quickly Keith scans the restaurant, looking for some homophobic idiot or someone who thinks it’s gross Keith went out wearing leggings as pants. (He likes them, fuck off.)
He doesn’t find anyone.
He must be imagining it.
Must be.
Must be.
“Hey, don’t look, but there’s a dude behind you— over by the bar who will not stop staring at the back of your head. I think he spaced out.”
Space. Lance loved space.
Bad sign.
Keith makes to turn his head and his date laughs again, quickly reaching out to hold his hand and draw his attention back to him, “Hey, I said don’t look!”
Keith looks up into his smile and nods awkwardly before settling on his hand. It stays there, even if Keith is no longer turning. Keith isn’t sure how he feels about it.
It’s been… a really long time since anyone’s held his hand.
He decides he’ll let it be for now. His date seems to like that and casually rubs his thumb over his skin.
Like Lance used to do.
Ah god it’s been years, is Keith really, really still not ready?! Lance sure was! Lance moved on through the whole damn university’s freshman class before Keith was even done coming to terms with the fact, they were over. Who does that?! Who bleeds love and romance like Lance does and then just— just— trivialize it with a bunch of nobodies while the love of his supposed life curls up on the floor of his dorm trying to figure out what the fucking phantom limb pain is— and let’s face it, he couldn’t just call his brother all “we broke up and it feels like I lost my right hand” cause Shiro would then have every right to disown him.
No. No. Keith should be over this. So fucking over this.
So UNBELIEVABLY FUCKING OVER THIS—
He looks at his date and stares into his eyes as softly as he’s able, casually reaching over to cover his hand with his in a way he hopes is reassuring.
“Right, right… so what were we talking about?”
His date smiles wide at the movement before his face takes on a more serious edge.
“Oh boy. Now he’s coming over. Shit.”
Keith pulls a face, about to inform his date he could probably take just about anyone who wants to cause them trouble when a familiar voice crashes through his senses like a bloody train wreck.
“Knew I recognized that mullet.”
No.
Keith retrieves both his hands and slips them under the table to grip at his knees.
Of all the horrible luck...
“Oh— you know him?”
No gods no please.
This can’t be happening. This can’t be happening this can’t…!
“Yeah man. Keithykins here and I go way back.”
Keithykins. Keith hated when Lance called him that. It always meant he was up to no good which he clearly was at this exact moment.
But Keith couldn’t move. Couldn’t look up. Because Lance’s voice is doing things to him just the way it’s always done and suddenly he’s 19 again, laying right beside the love of his life as he plays with his hair and holds him close, talking about where they’re gonna move when they graduate…
Lance was supposed to move. He was supposed to be gone. He was supposed to be anywhere but here in this bar sliding into the booth next to him, putting an arm around his shoulders and smelling like heaven never truly left him—
“Lance don’t—”
Lance reaches forward with the hand not currently squeezing Keith’s shoulder and grabs Keith’s chin.
And Keith wants to stop it, wants so terribly to push him off and beat him half to death with a bar stool but—
But between meeting in high school, falling in love, breaking up and the years Keith spent wishing and wishing and wishing for a moment just like this in his delusional heartbroken state… he’s just— he’s just been in love with Lance for so fucking long how could he ever say no…?
Lance tilts his face up to look at him and Keith could swear it’s like looking at the sun. He’s so bright and beautiful and perfect but it hurts so much it hurts
So much.
How is he still so gorgeous? How have the years not worn him down, made him tired? Made him into something that didn’t have complete and total control of Keith’s heart please—
“Isn’t that right, kitten?”
Those words amount to two things in Keith as soon as they’re spoken.
First, it’s fury. Blind, “I absolutely will beat you to death with a bar stool” kind of unadulterated fury. The kind of fury Keith is positive Lance has never before had to witness from him because he was always too cute or too funny or too hot (Jesus, baby, take me now!) to leave Keith in that state for long.
Second, and more pressing, unfortunately, was the way Keith ran through the million other times Lance had called him Kitten.
The “too hot” Lance who put Keith’s rage to better use.
He remembers the burn in his thighs, riding Lance in the backseat of the little blue civic, “you’re doing so well kitten, fuck, taking my cock so well!”
He remembered laying on his stomach in his bed, Lance’s face stuffed between his ass cheeks and humming, “you like this Kitten? You want more?” And Keith’s resounding fucking mewl when he sunk his tongue back into his heat.
He remembered sitting in Lance’s lap at a frat party, waiting for Pidge to finish her experiment so they could take her home, indulging in a couple drinks while Lance kept his arms firmly around his waist pressing small little kisses into Keith’s neck.
“Can’t wait to take you home, kitten…”
Keith remembers faintly how that comment had actually come from Lance’s anxiety over asking Keith to meet his family over the winter break and not just because Keith kept squirming against Lance’s cock that night.
He remembers Lance staring at him for a long while, when they’d gotten the BnB for their anniversary and Keith had tried to cook for them.
He remembers Lance’s fond expression after he’d angrily tossed a partly melted spatula into the sink and screeched at him, “What?! What is it?!”
And Lance had so easily slipped out of his chair, wandered up beside him and pressed their foreheads together, “my god, sweetheart, light of my life, kitten, you are so fucking precious… but please let me make breakfast.”
And so the fury melted into a single whispered lie.
“I hate you.”
—
Lance didn’t plan to go out tonight. He had planned to stay home with a barrel of bluebell ice cream and his cat and binge watch whatever new show he could find on Netflix.
But Hunk had insisted.
Nay, nagged!
And Hunk then confessed, after Lance had already agreed under conditions of bribery, blackmail, and the miraculous healing of Hunks weepy broken heart (the faker), that Hunk had arranged a date for him.
Lance had feigned a hint of interest over FaceTime before hopping in the shower and thumping his head into the wall a number of times that would have been questionable if he’d had a roommate.
Because he didn’t want a date.
He didn’t want anything.
He stupidly selfishly threw away the only thing he ever truly wanted for the unknown other and has spent the last few years regretting that decision with every bland girl and boy who could never make his blood run like—
He’d shaken his head, don’t think about him, you’re not allowed to think about him anymore he’s probably off and about with someone who actually deserves him. Who loves him enough to not be a stupid dunce about a thing like true commitment?
If he could go back.
If he could go back, he’d etch his name into his soul, never let go of his hand, never take him for granted again just—
Stop.
Stop it.
Keith was better off this way.
Lance can live in monotony, it’s his punishment.
Still, he was Lance. And he had an image to maintain. Desire to date or no. He made sure he was dressed like a charmer. Besides, he never really knows does he?
No one will ever be Keith but maybe he can still find some kind of happiness.
Right?
Was he allowed?
He hoped Keith was happy.
He wished Keith was there. Fingers curling in the little tufts of hair at the back of his neck, cracking jokes about Lance’s obsession with his long hair, “you can’t rock it like I can Lance.”
“Like I’d ever want a mullet.”
“You love it.”
I love you.
I love you.
Stupid things he should have said.
He should have said it because even if he didn’t really understand it, he felt it and he knew Keith felt it and if he’d just said it—
Nope.
Stop.
Not allowed.
He checked himself in the mirror one last time for any minor imperfections and shot Hunk a text that he was on his way.
Of course, leave it to Hunk to not specify which lounge he was currently occupying and for Lance to make assumptions that it was the usual location.
He was sitting at the bar and had already ordered one drink when he got impatient and sent his best friend another slightly irritated text.
“I figured when you were inviting me out that meant you’d be here already…”
The response was an immediate
“What?”
And before he could text back his phone was ringing.
He rolled his eyes, took a sip of his rum and coke and pressed accept.
“Where are you, I don’t see you—” Hunk started before Lance replaced his drink and picked up his phone to face himself and the rest of the lounge behind him.
“I’m chilling at the bar since you couldn’t be bothered to—”
Hunk’s eyes widened and he shook his head, “oh man did I not mention?? We’re at the new place that opened up—”
Lance felt the beginnings of his temper about to flare and grit his teeth, “you’re telling me I’m at the wrong place? Dude, what’s wrong with Altea?!”
“Nothing’s wrong with Altea! It’s just that Shay has friends who just started working at The Balmera and we thought why not?”
“Well maybe you should have said something about that earlier!” Lance groaned and pointed his phone away from himself for a moment so he could rub his temples with his free hand before retrieving his drink.
He briefly heard Hunk mumble something just as he lifted the phone up again and when he could see his friends face again, he just had to ask.
“Yo did someone just get shot or something? Hunk what’s wrong?”
“Oh man. Uh. Nothing. You should get out of there though— like I mean. Hurry up and get over here— shit you started drinking— how about an Uber? I’ll order you an uber.”
Lance stared into the screen for a long moment before deciding Hunk could eat shit on his own time.
“Spill it or the first thing I’m doing when I meet Shay is talking about summer camp.”
“You know what? I would take that hit for you. Because we’re bros, now finish your drink so I can call you an uber.”
That? That was too much. There was no way Hunk was going to just take that abuse unless he was trying to cover for something really bad.
Finally, putting two and two together; Lance turned on his stool to investigate the rest of the bar and he immediately zeroed in on what had caused Hunk to get jumpy.
And honestly, he couldn’t blame him considering how fast his own heart jumped into his throat.
“Lance buddy no- just get over here okay? We’ll have an amazing night, Romelle here is like-- super sweet and dying to meet you- Lance come on-”
Lance didn’t look at his phone, barely registered he was still holding it until he heard his plastic cover start to creak under his tightened grip.
“It- It might not even be him okay!?” Hunk persisted.
Lance isn’t having it. Knew Hunk was spouting nonsense. Knew who that was better than he knew his own name.
Lance used to wake up every morning staring at the back of his head. Played with the ends of his hair. Kissed his neck. Bit into his shoulder. Gripped his hips. Mumbled sappy little nothings against his skin while the dark-haired angel in his arms started to breathe a little shallow and sway his hips…
Lance had actual heaven and he lost it.
But there he was. Perfect and beautiful and making small talk with—
Who the fuck was that?
He doesn’t know how long he’s staring before the beautiful boy turns his head, quick, Lance barely has a moment to register the bars mood lighting glinting off his skin,
But he knows without a doubt.
Hunk is still begging him to listen, to leave, to go out with him and the girls and pretend this wasn’t happening.
But how the hell was Lance supposed to do a thing like that?
The universe had presented him with a gift.
A gift he didn’t feel he deserved, but a gift he absolutely wasn’t going to squander.
If there was even a chance. Even a tiny piece of love left inside Keith for him then he needed to know.
If there was a chance in hell that Keith might ever even look at him the way he used to—he needed—
He hung up on Hunk and walked over without thinking. He spoke before he allowed himself to really look at Keith. He’s so blinded by the angry twisting in his gut when he sees Keith’s beautiful perfect hands in someone else’s grasp— is he still wearing those ridiculous gloves??— man, of course he is.
But then Keith retrieved his hands at the sound of his voice, and Lance follows that motion with his eyes, he really gets to look at him.
His hair has grown out a bit, and he’s broader in the shoulders. Honestly, he’s more gorgeous now than ever. Dressed in black leggings like he used to wear all the time at home, comfortable with one of Lance’s old shirts. Today it’s more black instead, tight, something he probably got before his last growth spurt but only managed to make him look even better as it stretched over his chest and shoulders. Just a little gap of skin at his waist where his shirt didn’t meet the waistband of his pants. Keith’s ivory skin was such a sharp contrast from the darkness he’d bathed himself in it was hard to keep his eyes from being drawn to certain places.
So, he forces himself to look only at Keith’s face then, to see how pointedly Keith tries not to look at him.
He sits down next to him, again without thinking. Maybe because it still feels so damn natural to gravitate to his side.
Lance felt the heat building in his chest, in his face, he knew what he was doing was wrong, he knew he was probably hurting Keith with this but…
Just one more selfish act. He had to look him in the eyes. He needed to see.
And if there’s nothing in Keith’s eyes for him Lance would leave. A quick peck on the cheek so he can tell himself that was their true last kiss, say something polite, try not to hurt himself on his way out of the bar when he’s positive he won’t be able to see from the stupid tears that would definitely build. But he’d leave. If there is nothing left inside of Keith for him Lance would let him be.
So, when Lance reaches out and turns Keith’s face to his, recognizing that look, it’s over.
It’s written all over his face.
The universe has given him a gift. And that gift is a Keith who against all better judgement is still desperately in love with him.
It’s everything in him to not kiss him right there. To not pull him onto his lap and tell the stranger to go. Because Keith is his, has always been his, will always be his.
“Isn’t that right, kitten?”
—
By the time his date leaves Keith can’t feel his fingers. Lance’s hands traced circles up and down his side just under the table the whole damn time making Keith feel both dirty and goddamn delighted because fuck, did he miss Lance’s hands but also no, what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck Keith get a hold of yourself?!?
When his date’s brows furrow and he actually tries— god help his poor unfortunate soul— to ask Keith if he’s okay, if they should go, Keith can’t even look at him.
His skin is hot and he’s sure it plays on his face.
And Lance knows it too, casually reaching an arm up to run through Keith’s hair before pushing him into his chest.
And Keith— damn his pathetic heart—he melts right into him.
“We’ve got a bit to catch up on, so I think Keithykins wants to stay, don’t you Gorgeous?”
Keith hates it. Hates himself. Hates Lance.
But he nods.
And with that, the stranger is gone and it’s just Lance and Keith on one side of the booth, Lance’s short nails bluntly scratching affectionately at his scalp.
Keith almost imperceptibly pushing closer, afraid that this is all some cruel joke and when he shows just how much love he still harbors in his heart Lance night pull away.
Might mock him.
Might hurt him.
What other reason could there be for this?
Lance left him. Lance left him to pursue some bullshit ideas about his identity or what the fuck ever, some other piece of crap reason to break up with someone when the truth is you just got bored.
Because that’s right. That’s what it took Keith so long to figure out.
He left because he got bored. Because Keith wasn’t enough for him anymore. Because feelings didn’t matter because caring for one another didn’t matter. Keith wasn’t attentive enough or hot enough or worth enough—
“You okay, sweetheart?” Lance mumbles into the top of his head.
He sounds timid now. Way less the menace that just ruined his date and more someone who might actually care about another person's feelings.
Hah.
Yeah right.
Yeah right yeah right yeah right—
Keith shuts his eyes tight and lifts his head, nosing into Lance’s neck.
He knows his actions won’t match his words, but he can’t help it.
“How the fuck am I supposed to be okay…?”
You’re the fucking devil and I’m still in love with you.
Lance takes a deep breath and his arms wrap tighter around Keith’s waist now, “yeah I uh… this was probably the biggest dick move of my life, huh?”
Keith snorts, and despite how hard he’s trying, he knows his cheeks are getting damp and Lance will notice soon. He lowers his head back to Lance’s chest to put it off as long as possible.
“You can absolutely beat the crap out of me later,” Lance offers.
Keith nearly counters with “let me carve your heart out and maybe we’ll be even.” But instead he huffs again. Because words are difficult right now.
“I just. Couldn’t pass up the chance to… see you again.”
Keith wants to scream.
“You never realize how big this city is until you start wishing you’ll turn a corner and see someone and it just… never happens?”
Keith knew damn well. Spent years after leaving university, a drop out who couldn’t get his act together again, watching for Lance everywhere, hoping to catch his eye and be offered a smile— a brisk jog over, an apology, an offer to get lunch together. Catch up. Try being friends again. Spend a few weeks dancing around each other stupidly until someone cracks and kisses the other and then Keith could finally feel whole again—
Yeah. Keith fucking knew how uselessly huge this fucking city was because he never saw Lance again.
Until now. Until he selfishly and cruelly let himself in on his date and made Keith feel so fucking much.
Proving to Keith that he hadn’t grown past the boy who’d selfishly decided to leave him in the first place.
“I…Uhm… I’m…”
“An idiot.” Keith grits out finally.
Lance physically deflates under Keith’s weight but nods.
“Yeah.”
“Selfish asshole.”
Lance nods again, slowly shifting his head so he can hide his face in the top of Keith’s hair. Not that Keith can see him anyway.
“Fucked up years of my life and the second I try to move past you here you are to fuck it up even more.” Keith continues. He doesn’t want this moment, wrapped in Lance’s arms to end, but he can’t just pretend Lance didn’t hurt him. Lance’s hold doesn’t weaken but Keith is scared all the same, so he wraps his own arms around Lance. It makes the taller man’s breath hitch ever so slightly but Keith can’t care about that. Won’t.
“You’re a cruel man.”
“I know.”
Keith blinks. The dampness on his eyelashes leaves droplets on his face but he can’t quite grasp the dejected way Lance spoke.
He raises his head, removing the barrier and comfort Lance has found in his hair, and looks him in the face.
“I’m a monster Keith. I know.” Lance says again.
And with those words, staring into Lance’s eyes even as he tries to look away, something clicks in his brain.
“No…” Keith breathes out, head bobbing up for a moment as he tries to make a decision.
Lance sees the motion and his eyes widen but he remains anxious, unsettled under Keith’s gaze. But Keith loves him.
Keith loves him and so he presses a small kiss to the corner of his lips.
“No. Not a monster. I know monsters.” Keith mumbles against Lance’s cheek.
“Stupid. Selfish. Reckless. Sometimes cruel. But you’re not a monster, you’ve never been.”
Keith pushes himself up on the booth seat, turns and throws a leg over Lance’s lap. The area is cramped, and his back is against the edge of the table but fuck it.
Fuck all of it.
Fuck the years of his misery fuck how much pain Lance had caused him. Lance was also the cause of the happiest moments of his life and he wanted that back damn it.
He just. Needs to make sure Lance wants it too.
“Tell me… are you sorry, Lance?”
Lance nodded.
“Did you spend these years wallowing in regret?”
Lance’s eyes looked damp too.
“You have no idea.”
Keith nods, “are you sorry for the stupidly devastating way you just handled things right now…?”
Lance opened his mouth to speak but paused. Keith retrieved his arms from where they’d landed on Lance’s chest in the shift in position and Lance reflexively pulled him in closer.
“I’m not going to lie, I’m only sorry it was devastating to you. I’m not sorry that I get to be holding you right now, that you’re in my lap looking at me like you might actually be willing to come home with me…I’m a dick but I’m not going to spit in the face of the universe.”
Keith rolled his eyes and uncrossed his arms, letting them lean against Lance’s chest again.
“You’re a dumbass.”
“Yes.”
“I’m not coming home with you.”
Lance nods quietly at that one. He’s doesn’t seem disappointed, like he knew it was a stretch when he said it.
And it was. And Keith is already letting him off too easy it’s just…
Keith really wants to kiss him. Really wants to go home with him and forget the last few years ever happened. Hold him until morning and know he’ll never leave his side again.
“You… really hurt me Lance.”
Lance’s brows furrow and he breathes out through his nose and he leans his head forward to press against Keith’s forehead.
“And I am so, so sorry.”
“I could have given you everything— I did give you everything…!” Keith is panicking, because he knows what he wants and knows what he deserves, and he hates that in this moment Lance isn’t both.
And Lance knows it.
“Baby—baby, I know, I know I don’t deserve you. I know I ruined everything for us but please— if you’ll let me, I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you.”
Fuck.
Fuck Keith wanted to believe him.
“How can I trust that…?” His voice sounds weak and cracked and he hates it. “You couldn’t commit to me before how the hell are you supposed to commit to me like that now?”
“I was a stupid college kid who didn’t know any better. If I could go back to that cute little place we rented on our anniversary— the one where you tried to make pancakes you beautiful absolute chaos creature— I’d have asked you to marry me because living like this, without you has been the worst time of my life and I promise you— I promise—Keith…?”
“...marry you…?”
Lance blinks, reaching up with one hand and wiping one of Keith’s wayward tears off his cheek as Keith stares at him with wide eyes.
Lance tries to keep the awkward smile from playing on his face because he realizes mentioning marriage when your ex boyfriend is struggling with the idea of being with your ungrateful ass again something that big should probably wait but…
But it’s true. Lance should have asked Keith to marry him then, and he would happily do so now. If Keith wanted.
Keith lowers his head and mumbles something short and quick that Lance doesn’t catch.
“Sweetheart?”
“You don’t really mean that… do you…?”
Lance sighs and nods, “I do. I know I shouldn’t because I hurt you, but I do. I’ve spent the last few years mourning the life I could have had with you— that we should have had together. Kitten, I promise if you let me I’ll do everything in my power to make sure nothing, especially me, ever hurts you again.”
Keith feels his resolve breaking. As if he had any left when he sat in Lance’s lap and told him he wasn’t a monster.
“Call me that again…” he mumbles, staring at the collar of Lance’s shirt. It’s a deep v neck, showing off a bit of that firm chest Keith loves so much. He wishes he were staring out of love and not because he doesn’t think his heart can handle looking into Lance’s face.
Lance leans forward again, and Keith can hear the smile on his lips even if he can feel the tension in his arms.
“Kitten…”
“I want to kiss you, but I don’t think I can.” Keith barks abruptly. “Feels like I lose if I kiss you. It’s me giving in and forgiving you. But if you kiss me then it’s you being selfish and careless again. But I want to kiss you. So, so badly.”
Lance remains perfectly still for a long moment before Keith makes a small noise, “Please be selfish one more time…?”
And Lance is gone to do his bidding, one hand at the small of Keith’s back, the other just behind his neck as he captures his lips. Heart pounding so loud in his chest he feels like it might actually kill him. But so is Keith’s. Keith whose arms wrap around Lance’s neck and head to keep him as close as possible. Keith who pushes his body and conforms to Lance’s in a way that makes if feel like they’ve never been apart. They always just fit together like this and always would.
Keith’s lips are soft. Softer than he remembered them. A testament to the effort Keith put into his date before he’d come around to wreck it. But given how Keith slowly moves his lips against Lance’s, that Lance is the one who gets to taste those lips even if it’s just for a moment— well then it was kind of worth it right?
But as quick as it starts, it’s over and Keith is panting with his forehead against Lance’s cheek.
“Thank you.” He breathes out. And Lance can’t help it.
Can’t help but say the words out loud, the ones that he never said when he was supposed to before.
“I love you.”
Keith freezes.
Lance feels his insides start to twist uncomfortably.
Keith slowly raises his head to stare into Lance’s face and Lance knows he can’t hide the fear in his eyes.
“Again.” Keith mouths.
Lance’s face implores him, he’s terrified of these words, of saying them to Keith in this position. Talking about his desire to spend the rest of his life with him doesn’t feel as dangerous. If Keith were to hear those words from his lips and fail to believe him— to call him a liar—
He’s not lying.
He’s not lying, and Keith will know that and even if he doesn’t, even if Keith is still in too much pain to believe those words are true and he lashed out then— well, Lance deserves it doesn’t he?
“...I love you, Keith.”
Keith is silent, staring, his nearly violet eyes bare through him and give nothing away.
“I always have I was just… too stupid to believe it.. to say it…”
“Lance…” Keith’s voice is steady. “...again.”
“...I love you…”
Still Keith watches.
“Kitten…?”
“I guess you are a monster… to say that to me. Here. Now. Of all times and places…”
Lance feels his heart start to shatter at those words, but it doesn’t match Keith’s face, doesn’t match the way he starts to crawl off his lap but instead holds his hand, keeps their fingers intertwined as he pulls him up off the booth.
“Now you have to take me home, make me feel it.”
Oh.
Keith smiles at him and Lance feels like he’s seeing the sun shine for the first time in years, in the middle of the night in this parking lot.
Lance smiles and Keith feels like the pit of ice that had started in his gut and travelled up his chest to swallow up his heart so long ago was finally, finally, melting away.
Lance shows him to his newer blue civic. It’s still an old used car but this one is from this decade. Keith hates it, because he says this car doesn’t remember him like the old one does.
Lance laughs but Keith is already leading him, laying back against the passenger side door and pulling Lance down to him.
It’s an invitation and Lance wants to take it but waits. Waits because after everything, every move from here on out is for Keith.
And Keith intends to take advantage of it, “Hey Lance… you can start now.”
“Start....?”
Keith’s fingers tug at Lance’s V-neck, laying his head back against the car and peering up through hooded eyes, “Say it again. And make me feel it.”
Lance stares at him, feels one of Keith’s knees start to slide up his thigh, and he wonders how the hell he ever gave this up. Lance nuzzles into Keith’s neck, extended as it was by his position, and breaths him in, “God, I love you so much.”
Keith huffs, a more pleasant sound than when he’d done so earlier, “Yeah, I knew it, already getting old…”
Lance raises his head so fast, a small whimper in his throat and Keith laughs outright.
“Relax dumbass... one more time.”
“I don’t think I want to, now.” Lance whines.
Keith rolls his eyes, “Again. Lance. Please.”
Lance kisses him instead. It comes as a surprise and Keith’s hand almost comes up to push him away, but Lance is already leaning back, “No, you don’t have to say please. I love you. I’ll say it however many times you need me to, as many times as I can, no matter how much you want to tease me because fuck it I deserve it.”
Keith leans his head back against the car again, “Yeah, you do. But I’ll stop… for now. You can kiss me again instead.”
Lance nods and moves back in, lips against Keith’s once again, his hands wandering into Keith’s hair and tugging absently because he still can’t grasp how this might actually be his life again and he needed to latch on to something. Keith doesn’t seem to mind. He’s the first to part his lips, tongue not asking for permission so much as demanding it and Lance can’t give it fast enough.
Lance will do better this time. Make sure Keith never regrets tonight.
Will also have to dig out that little red box he’d bought so many years ago. Make good on that overwhelming desire that had scared him so much in the first place.
