This is an absolutely hilarious fanfic my great friends @kennaxval @sawyeroakleyscowboyhat @begging-for-kamilah @strangerofbraidwood @stopforamoment @tornbetween2loves wrote for my birthday!!!!!!!!!!! I cried laughing while reading this and words aren't enough to describe how thankful I am for all of you who found the time in your schedules to rite this masterpiece!! To the people who don;t know this already, I've working together on this super project, @choicecrossover, for the past months with all these geniuses!!! It's been a blast getting to know all of these phenomenal writers and I'll be forever grateful for this opportunity <3
The woods around Julia were dark and oppressive, a stark contrast to her own bubbly and upbeat personality. Her various woodland creature companions all faithfully gathered around her in a posse of fur and claws, all speaking the language of their own species as they gallivanted through the trees like a literal Disney princess.
A large shadow flew in front of her, causing her to shriek loudly in surprise. She stumbled backwards, her ankle catching a fallen tree limb and twisting painfully as she fell onto the hard forest floor.
“You aren’t a woodland creature!” she shouted after the mysterious shadow as it disappeared behind the trees, a strange laughter coming from the mischievous apparition. She rubbed her ankle painfully, cursing her ill luck.
“Curse my ill luck!” she shouted.
One of her furry companions approached her tentatively, bopping her with his cold nose. She stared into the canines eyes, feeling an understanding pass between them and knowing what she must do.
“I know what I must do!” she said happily, looking into the dog’s eyes.
“Run like the wind, go forth and find me help!”
The dog stared into her eyes, an understanding passing between animal and master. He sniffed Julia carefully, making sure she was alright. Then he lifted his leg and peed on her stomach, marking her. Making sure she would be safe until he got back. Julia was HIS bitch and no one else’s.
The dog streaked through the woods, dodging rocks and scooting under low branches. Suddenly he stopped, ears pricked. He heard footsteps. The dog eased forward cautiously, but not cautiously enough. The clumsy human tripped over him, face planting into the ground.
Jesus Fucking H. Bi-peds were the most useless creatures. The dog began to nudge the human, whimpering and licking his face.
“Easy boy, it’s ok, I’m fine I just tripped,” Bryce said as he stood up and brushed the dirt from his butt. The dog barked at him, then turned to head further into the woods, stopping and barking again when he realized he wasn’t being followed.
Bryce laughed and shook his head. “What is it boy? Did Timmy fall down the well?” He cracked up laughing at his own joke as he jogged after the dog. He followed the dog through the woods, becoming a little more hesitant as the woods became thicker and darker.
He was just about to turn back when he saw her. And smelled her. Whew! Sprawled out at the base of a huge tree with gnarly, thick roots was the most beautiful creature he had ever laid eyes on. He stood up straight and rushed to her side, kneeling beside her. He asked her name as he assessed her situation. Her voice was meek and soft.
“I’m Julia.” He flashed her a megawatt smile. “I’m Bryce and I’m going to help you Julia. Do you think you can walk?”
“I... I’m just too weak”, she sighed dramatically, placing the back of her hand across her forehead like a damsel in distress.
“Well don’t you worry about that ma’am, I’m going to get you all the help you need.”
Bryce lifted Julia into his strong, muscular arms, careful not to hurt any potential injuries.
“Wow, you’re so strong”, she gasped as he carried her through the woods with ease.
“Oh no, not really”, he chuckled as he flexed his muscles. He then decided to show Julia just how strong he really was. He held her in one arm, then decided to pick his dog up with his other arm.
Julia’s eyes widened in awe.
“Oh no, this is nothing”, he smiled.
Before she could respond, they had arrived at the hospital despite having been in the woods just sentences ago. The dog was also somehow safe at home now since he probably wasn’t allowed in the hospital itself.
All of a sudden, everything became a rush. As soon as Bruce stepped through the hospital’s double doors, it was as if he were a new person.
“QUICKLY, WE MUST GET THIS POOR WOMAN A BED IMMEDIATELY!”
“But Bryce, I’m fine, it’s only a twisted ankle. Nothing is even bro-“
“Shhhhhh. It’s alright. You’re delirious but you’ll survive.”
Within moments, Bryce laid Julia down into a hospital bed tenderly.
“I’m going to hand you over to the care of an intern now Julia. She’s very capable. You’ll like Jackie.”
At that moment, a beautiful young lady came in with a very cheeky smile.
“So, you’re the woman causing the entire hospital to fall into chaos”, Jackie smirked.
“I guess... but I don’t really know why. I was in the woods when I-“
“Fell from heaven?”
“Errrr...”
“I’m sorry. I know I shouldn’t flirt with a patient. Especially one in such critical condition.”
“Critical condition? I’m not even bleeding!”
“Bryce warned me that you were delirious. It’ll be alright Julia. I’m going to wheel your bed onto a ward now, to prep you for surgery.”
“SURGERY?!”
But it was too late. Before Jackie had even heard Julia, she was already on a ward full of patients.
On the bed next to hers lay a young sweet man, drinking a strange milky red substance. He turned to face her and was immediately taken aback.
“Oh... I hope you don’t mind me saying but... you’re extraordinarily beautiful. I’m Tom, by the way.”
Without warning, a screen popped in front of Julia that read “Say ‘hi’ to Tom for 30 diamonds or tell him you don’t like talking to people for free.”
Julia wanted to say “hi.” Tom seemed a friendly enough guy, but she knew she had to be careful with her diamonds and reluctantly told him she doesn’t like talking to people.
Instead of a dejected face, which Julia expected, Tom seemed eerily ok with the exchange and a nurse quickly came to wheel his bed out into another room.
Just as Tom was brought out, two more bed were pushed in to either side of Julia. She waited a moment, curious to see if talking to her new companions represented another diamond choice before looking to her left to see a beautiful woman clothed in white silk with blood red eyes and dark skin and hair.
“Excuse me, I don’t know if this is allowed but…”
“Oh, it’s allowed. You may talk to me as much as you please, but I wouldn’t get my hopes up about us doing anything more if I were you. I’m Priya, and I can tell you that even if you spend every single diamond you have, I’ll never be your love interest. Sure, there will be options for us to flirt, but don’t get too excited or else, Adrian or some other forced male will swoop in to stop you from being able to make your own choices. You’d have better luck with your neighbor to the right.”
Julia turned away, discouraged. But even more, once she saw the man next to her. He appeared to sweat grease out of his pores, had a reddish hue to his face, but more of an “I’m constantly angry” red as opposed to an “I get a lot of sun” look. He had a badge on his chest that read “Walsh.” Julia turned back to Priya.
“You’ve got to be kidding me!”
The vampire shrugged. “I don’t make the rules, I just follow them. Do you really think I’d be attracted to the likes of Gaius Augustine?” Priya gagged. “All I can say is that I’m glad fic writers exist or else I’d never get any proper action.”
Julia watched Priya carefully, a feeling of confusion washing over her.
"What on earth is going on?"
Before anyone could answer, Julia found herself sat in the hospital canteen. On one side of her sat the man from earlier, Tom, sipping away at his strange tomato milkshake. On the other side of her sat a pensive looking man with a hat on.
Opposite the trio sat two more people- a handsome man holding a large sword (where the hell was security in this place?!) and a stunning young woman with purple hair and glasses.
"So... can I speak without paying diamonds or...?"
Tom chuckled.
"Sure you can. Well, to some of us at least. By the way, this is my buddy Noah", he said, giving a nod to the quiet man on the other side of her.
"And this guy here is Jax. He likes to cook and slash things with his sword."
Jax gave an eye roll.
"You can talk to any of us for free. But next to Jax is Lily. It'll be 17 diamonds upfront if you want to converse with her."
Julia exhaled in frustration.
"But I only have 21, and you can't do anything with 3 diamonds!"
Tom shrugged.
"I don't make the rules."
"Okay, fine. I'll pay the diamonds. Where do I pay exactly?"
Without warning, a screen above Julia's head appeared and subtracted the 17 diamonds.
"Hey girl, I'm Lily", the woman opposite her smiled.
"Okay cool. So, now that I can talk to all of you, I wanted to ask what the hell is going on?!"
"What do you mean?", Tom asked, sipping away at his thick, red milkshake. He slid a bottle of the goop over to Julia, which she took hold of absentmindedly without drinking.
"Well, I was just in the woods, then I tripped. And this surgeon Bryce found me. But he got all weird and dramatic, and said I needed surgery. But I'm not even that hurt! What's happening?!"
All of a sudden, the entire canteen froze in place. A white screen popped up above Julia's head. It read: "What could Bryce possibly want with you? Find out in the next chapter of "She Trips In The Woods: Open Wound."
Julia reached up to the white screen and touched the tick. She was immediately rewarded with 2 diamonds, before another screen popped up. It read: "Watch ad to gain reward".
"Might as well", Julia thought with a shrug as she ticked the box.
For the next 45 seconds, Julia sat and watched an extremely boring advert for Homescapes. She drummed her fingers atop the canteen table waiting eagerly for it to end. When it was finally over, she reached up and pressed the "tick".
"Sorry. Reward could not be collected. Try again later."
With an irritable groan, Julia found herself taken to another screen. This time, her own story popped up before her.
"The next chapter", she gasped with excitement. She hit to play the next instalment, only for ANOTHER screen to pop up. (Seriously, what the hell is up with all these screens?!)
It read: "To buy a key, pay $1.99 or wait 1hr 58m for your next key."
"Oh my god, what the fu-"
***
Julia sat up and looked around. She was safe and sound in her bed. She glanced at her phone and it was only 3am. She sighed with relief before chuckling to herself.
"What a weird ass dream", she smiled before rolling over onto her side and drifting off to sleep, clearly not noticing the bottle of tomato milkshake down by the side of her bed...
Since you didn’t specify I’ll give you one of each.
Supernatural: @ladywinchester1967 immensely talented writer and I desperately need to catch up on her fics! She even has a Negan and Dean crossover fic (yes please). She’s a Dean girl but so am I (well and John...)
Choices: @tornbetween2loves I have so far only read her TRR fics but there is not enough time for me to read everything everyone has written or I would. She started with poly and Driam but if that’s not your thing don’t fret, it’s not all she has, she has Olivia and Liam (that I don’t totally hate even though I hate the pair) and she’s starting a Bastien x Olivia series and I can’t be more thrilled.
