Ceramic (low-fire oxidation; Torogoz painted with yellow, turquoise, dark green, light green, orange, black and white underglaze with clear glaze; coiling technique)
I took my first try at ceramics this year at sf state and i made this huge torogoz !!
i’ve always wanted to see one. up close. i’ve wondered a lot about these birds. sometimes i pick people, places, words, smells, birds. here and there. i obsess and i always feel like there is a secret lying beneath them. just like the number 7. I’m so drawn to it. i need to know everything about how it holds up in different cultures, languages, how it rolls off your tongue. mine too.
The torogoz is the beautiful national bird of El Salvador. and for that reason I decided I wanted to build one. I’ve never visited El Salvador. But i have spent years of my life imagining it through the stories of my grandma and mom. through the stories of the people I’ve met since living in the bay or working with CISPES. And the torogoz is an undeniably beautiful bird. how can you not wonder about them? they are full of wonder.
When creating all of my ceramic pieces this semester I always felt like putting words to the surface. Writing is what has always held me close when i desired something badlyyyyy. If i cannot satiate my desire with actions. I can at the very least try to describe how the feeling is tearing through me. demanding I oblige the call. desire eats me up and my pen is always my witness.
A couple of months ago I was brought an instagram reel. It was about the song “Sombrero Azul”, a cumbia I know well and love endlessly, sang by Salsa Clave. Much like the Torogoz and the number seven “Sombrero Azul” has been hung up in my mind poking and pushing me. I had been feeling for months that there was something more to this song but i never had the time to investigate. So, of course, i was brought an instagram reel. I learned that Sombrero Azul was originally written by Alí Primera, a Venezuelan singer, composer and political activist. He wrote the song in 1981 as a response to the armed violence occurring against the people of El Salvador during the, heavily U.S. backed, Civil war (1979-1992). He sings about the strength of the Salvadoran people. About the brutality of the repression they face. About how one day their happiness, their strength, their colors, how they will wash away the deep sadness brought by the bloodshed of their people. And to the inevitable downfall of the empire that wishes to kill their love for their people and homeland. I watched a live performance of the song at “La Concierto por la paz en Centroamérica” (April of 1983) in La plaza de la Revolución in Managua, la capital de Nicaragua on youtube. i watched and i sobbed. I sobbed thinking about how the people who love me and watch over me. They brought me this moment and this memory so that I may not forget how long this grief has been holding up. How i am a part of their fight, their journey and a conduit for their pain. I felt like they brought this to me to give me hope and remind me of the power of music and art as a tool for resistance. the importance of building and keeping morale as everything intensifies across the globe.
In this song, both the Primera original and the Salsa Clave cumbia, the lyric
“Y dale salvadoreño, dale
que no hay pajaro pequeño, dale
que despues de alzar el vuelo, dale
always struck my ear to pay so much attention to its call.
I thought “god, this is how you inspire a people.”. This song. that lyric.
So i adorned my Torogoz with these words. Right on her wings where she may take flight. until her land and her people are liberated.
I wish one day to feel what it is to be home in El Salvador. To hold every Salvadoran close and hear their stories and most importantly remember their life, their love, and their flight.
I urge anyone feeling hopeless or
scared or disenfranchised to watch the performance. Read about the concert. To translate the lyrics. watch it and share with me how it made you feel pretty please.
Music is so very powerful because when we as people are held up against a wall we still have our hearts where music and words and colors can touch us the most deeply. Where music can inspire us to act for our community but with confidence and with a purpose, to relieve the pain and heal the loss. This bird has brought me much to dream about but most importantly much to continue flying forward for. I’m trying to will the same for you. All of my people.
