To the one who called me “Ingrata”
Yes you can call me ingrata in any ways. That's your opinion.
But for me to adjust accordingly, just because you said so? NO.
For me to suppress my emotion and accept that I’m an ingrata just because you said so? NO.
Deep inside I know, I am not an ingrata. That's your definition of me, not mine. That word does not define me. Insensitive maybe. Or careless. Or irrational. A lot moody, yes!. Or inconsistent. But no, I know I'm not "Ingrata". My parents raised me well-mannered enough. I am not ingrata!
I made a wrong move of making a decision based on my highly distracted mood, and I admit I was terribly wrong. In fact, I was terribly sorry for it. But does that define me as ingrata? Maybe yes. Because that's what you called me. That’s how you judge me --- an Ingrata.
So here you go, a message from the one you call an "ingrata".
Hi! Ako diay tung Ingrata nga niabot sa sa imong kinabuhi. Ag ingrata nga nahigugma kaayo sa imoha. Ag ingrata nga gapabati ug gugma sa imoha. Ag ingrata nga maldita ug moody kau pero pinangga sad kaayo ka. Kadto ganing ingrata nga mahilig mag-effort para e-surprise2x ka para mafeel nmo unsa ka ka-special sa iyaha. Kadtong ingrata nga ga-adjust sa imong batasan para lang magdugay mong duha, kay lagi, palangga ra kaayo ka niya nga mahadlok siyang biyaan nimo siya.
Wa siya kahibalo nganong gaila mo. Or kung nganung gipauyab ka’g tawo nga imong ginatawag ug"ingrata" nga pagka-bayi. Wa man gani siya kahibalo ngano ingrata siya. Or kung unsay bug-at nga rason para tawagon nmo siya’g ingrata. Maski iyang ginikanan wa sukad nitawag ug ingrata sa iyaa. Gipadako siya nila ug tarong para dli mhimong ingrata. Pero kay nahigugma man kaayo siya nmo, okay ra. Okay ra nga tawagon nimo siyang ingrata.
Cge ra kay total kining gitawag nimo’g ingrata palangga mn kaayo ka niya bisan usahay dili na siya nimo masabtan sa ka-moody niya. Gipalangga ka niya sa panahon nga feeling nimo walay gapangga nmo. Kaning ingrataha gidawat ka sa kung unsa ka, bisan pa ug unsa ka kalisod sabton agi sa batasan nimong mura pu’g bayi.
Gipalangga ka bsan pag unsa kasakit ang mga strya nga ginabuhi nmo sa iya everytime saputon ka. Matawagan man nimo sya sa tanang balikas nga gusto nimo e-storya sa iya, naa pa’y pakapin nga wa sya’y ayo ug pwerte niyang hasula, pero ok ra, palangga ra gihapon ka aning ingrataha.
Mao ni ag ingrata nga ug magdaot ka atimanan ka. Ag ingrata nga mabalaka kayo sa imoha ug magluya ka. Ag ingrata nga pagahikayan ka, kuwang na lang hungitan ka, kay lage, palangga kaayo ka niya.
Ag ingrata nga bisan unsa kasakit iyang bation everytime pilion nmo imong pride ug emotion taga-masuko ka, kaysa mukalma para niya, mas gipili gihapon niya nga musabot ug pasayluon ka, tungod kay palangga man ka aning ingrataha. Ag ingrata nga permi nimog gipasaligan na magbag-o ka, pero bisan wala, gidawat gihapon ka niya. Mas gipangga pa gani nuon ka niya, tungod kay gatuo siya nga pinaagi sa iyang gugma sa imoa, puhon mag-bag-o ra ka.
Ag ingrata nga suportaan ka sa kung unsa may imong plano. Ag ingrata nga permi andam mudawat nimo, bisan pa’g failure na kau imong lantaw sa imong kaugalingon. Mao ni ag ingrata nga nisaad sa imo nga higugmaon ka bisan unsa kalisod. Nisaad nga at the end of each and everyday, mamaot man o manindot imong adlaw, naa sya nga imong ulian tungod kay she promised to be your home. She promised to love you at our best and love you even more at your worst. She promised to be always there for you no matter what, because to her, you are her everything. That’s how she loved you. All she wanted to do was to pour her love to you.
Pero kadtong mga saad niya wa niya damha nga mausab pa. Until one day, you called her an ingrata.
Just one mistake of getting carried away by her mood swing and it made her an ingrata... “INGRATA” as you called her.
Then, with a blink of an eye her fairy tale of being your one true love vanished. Reality hit her hard and made her think about what she deserved. This time, even love is not enough. She was selflessly in love with you, yet it was so easy for you to judge her as if you never loved her. She knew you were not being frank. She knew you were being mad and judgmental. Because she know deep inside you, you know she is not an ingrata. You loved her, and you knew her too well, she’s not an ingrata! You wouldn’t love her if she was.
That ingrata just wanted to tell you how much sorry she was for being such a girl. A typical girl who could sometimes get caught by her messy mood swings. A typical girl who needs a typical guy who would try to understand her when she seems to be too crazy to understand herself. A guy who wouldn’t boil up with her in anger. Rather chill her out and talk. A guy who wouldn’t let her sleep with a heavy heart. A guy who wouldn’t call her an ingrata just because she messed up. Because that is not what she deserve. She have loved you in all the ways she could. Even when at times when you tend to be not worthy to be loved, yet she loved you more. You knew how much she valued and loved you even though sometimes she freaks out with her emotional dilemmas. Calling or judging her as an ingrate just don’t return her favor.
You might say that it was something you didn’t mean. But its not that she didn’t gave you a chance to calm down. Again, you chose pride and madness just because of the thought that she done you wrong. And she should bend a little more lower for you, just because she has done you wrong. You thought she should chase you, please you, just because she messed up with her mood again.
Well guess what man, lucky for you! Your words scarred her real good that she ain’t scared if you give her up anymore. Your word hurt too good that it left a mark on her. It took all her fears of ever loosing someone like you away. And she can’t be thankful enough of how your judgement woke her up.
You can leave her, she wouldn’t mind the pain, although she knew how painful would that be.
Because after all, you are too good and too extraordinary to deserve an ingrata in your life. You are too special to deserve someone like her. You deserve someone whom you would never call ingrata. Someone who would love you more than she ever could. Someone whom you would see how much you mean the world to her. Someone whom you would be afraid of hurting because you loved her equally too much, that seeing her in pain hurts you more. Someone whom you would treat as special as she used to treat you.
But above all this, the one you called ingrata is ready to face the incredible pain of losing you, if you choose to leave her, because deep inside she knew, she deserve someone who would see her as a partner and not just a mere ingrata. She knew she deserves someone who would love her in return and not ignore all her love just for someone’s pride or madness.
There is never going to be a perfect relationship. There would always be trials, challenges and a lot of pain. All of these will be tolerable if we never forget that our loved ones have feelings too. No matter how mad we could get about an argument, that does not justify our actions. Trials could be surpassed if we take some time to calm and choose to communicate rather than hurt. Because sometimes, there are just those words we could never ever take back no matter how much we don’t mean it. No matter how much we are sorry about it, there would be those words we wish we never said that left a permanent scar to the one we loved. Something we can do nothing about.
So to the one who called me “ingrata”, I love you still, very much... But I’m sorry, your word hit me real good and its something you could never take back. Thank you for calling me an ingrata, you awaken something I never thought I have in me. It’s the strength of accepting what is really not meant to be, and the will of seeing about what myself deserves.
Thank you because if you may, this ingrata is about to sign off. . . FOR GOOD <3
