Into Columbia (Starter for Towermade)
Well, there were worse jobs, weren’t there? He’d been a grease trap cleaner, an alligator wrangler, and a Swedish bellhop; all of which were terrible vocations.
Still, this one had a particular air of seediness about it. There was something about it that made the whole thing stink like a ripe gym sock.
And he knew his gym socks.
The piece of paper he’d gotten had a simple message written on it:
"Bring us the girl and wipe away the debt."
It didn’t seem to make much sense, especially when he considered that his credit card statements were all paid up.
Maybe he’d gotten the message by mistake? He DID live just down the road from that early 20th century detective’s office. He’d gotten his copy of “Generic Protagonists Monthly” off and on for almost a year now…
Still, whoever this girl was, she must have been important. And if his unknown “employer” was any indication, she must have been in trouble.
Chicken Man was never the type to go for the whole “damsel in distress” thing; he felt it was tacky and outdated, not to mention sexist. But a job was a job, and it was an excuse to get out of the house at that.
So he decided he’d keep this one for himself and have a look. There was nothing on tv anyway.
After dealing with a pair of very disturbing twins (whom he promptly hit with his shovel and left on the beach), he found himself outside of a foreboding lighthouse.
"Welp…this must be the place…"