Bazen bir tartışmada konuşulan şey yapılan yanlış değildir. Konu, o yanlışa verdiğiniz tepkiye kaydırılır. Çünkü bazı insanlar hatalarını kabul etmek yerine, sizin hislerinizi sorgulatmayı tercih eder. Böylece suç yavaş yavaş yer değiştirir; hatayı yapan değil, tepki veren açıklama yapmak zorunda kalır.
Oysa sağlıklı bir ilişkide mesele, kimin daha çok konuştuğu değil kimin sorumluluk aldığıdır. Bir insan gerçekten yanlış yaptığında savunmaya geçmek yerine anlamaya çalışır. Ama manipülasyon, gerçeği değiştirmez; sadece konuşulan konuyu değiştirir.
Bu yüzden bazen en büyük farkındalık şudur: Tartışmanın merkezinde hâlâ yapılan yanlış yoksa, konuşulan şey büyük ihtimalle gerçek değil yönlendirmedir.
We reside in a society that has elevated the expectations and standards to an impossible level, and so has the pressure come down upon each and every individual, in some way or the other.
Such is the pressure of being the 'good' person everyone should look up to. I guess this might also be partly a reason for the emergence of the Anti-Hero trope. Or the sudden outburst against the perfect hero. Even Aristotle discussed why everything is wrong with a 'Perfect Tragic' hero and why it would not work in his essay 'Poetics'.
But I guess we have not learnt much beyond the theatre regarding what is wrong with having a perfect hero. The thing is, the more we chase 'perfectionism', the more unaccepting we become of others' flaws. Human beings are made out of flaws and experiences. there would be no experience at all if there is no bumps in one's character.
This attitude of not being able to accept the imperfections of a person that people might have idealised earlier is what makes the infamous 'Cancel Culture' so toxic. I agree, that there have been instances when the Cancel Culture has served justice, in a way, but the fact is, this is a heavily toxic trend.
The fact is, Cancel Culture has arisen because people have become increasingly unable to accept their own flaws and imperfections, and in a way, they are the victims of society. However, they too, have become the ones to keep the cycle going.
It is very important for us to accept that the perception of a 'good person' is very much subjective. You can be an ideal person in someone's eyes and a complete antagonist to the other. The pressure of being the 'good person' has often, directly, or indirectly, promoted a people-pleasing behaviour. And if not all, most people already know how disastrous that can be.
It has become, thus, increasingly difficult to self-reflect and be honest within ourselves. But I believe that it is necessary, it is very much essential for us to be aware of ourselves and accept that we are not perfect, and so is not the person we are passing by. Every person has their own pace of growth, individual experience and aims, ways to self-reflect and level of self awareness and emotional maturity.
It is ironic how we all speak of the age of acceptance yet have so little to accept, we filter things to acceptance, and bend our judgement to our favour. In reality, this constant pressure of being the 'good person' has turned us all into hypocrites.
Again, this is a personal opinion and my perception of society. Everyone is free to agree to disagree, having individual opinions is our right, and I am not here to impose mine, but to share.
