#toysposting

[catgirl-kaiju]

[sourpatchsquids]

Going to explode. I keep getting paired against Rock Collection mains. They keep rolling the Smooth Pebble. Then they roll the Skipping Rock. And there's nothing I can do. Who decided variance was a fun mechanic. No I did not have fun playing today. >:(

[lovestoysdotcom]

okay so candys are like toys for the mouth yup?

[sourpatchsquids]

You gotta hand it to Xylophone mains. They have the sheer confidence to sit down in front of their opponent and ask them "Did you study the match-up?"

And if the opponent answers yeah then they gotta sit there and do literally nothing. Champions of the game truly, the wardens of the meta. Everyone else is playing their game.

[sourpatchsquids]

Dinosaur mains need to get with the program. If you're gonna spec out of T-Rex it's for utility, not stats. You can pick a Raptor for the early play bonus, or brachiosaurus for its place in the trees build, but you don't pick Triceratops. It's just not worth it.

[sourpatchsquids]

We love getting matched against a first time toy player bringing out the jack-in-the-box. Everyone has to learn the lesson of baby's first noobtrap. You can't even get on them about it because when you're starting JitB's board effect looks SO good. You just have to hold their hand and show them how easy it is to shut them out with the simplest interactions.

[sourpatchsquids]

I'm dedicated to posting enough about toys meta that eventually someone can derive the rules, format, and reliable team comps from the totality of the posts alone

[lovestoysdotcom]

remember that you have toy hugging today ok?