Always
Knock knock knock.
“Osamu? You’ve been there for a while, you okay?” Came Chuuya’s concerned voice from the other side of the door.
Dazai knew if he didn’t respond Chuuya would assume he tried to kill himself.
So, doing his best—which was pretty damn good—to keep the shakiness out of his voice, he responds. “Yeah, sorry, had some trouble with the bandages.”
There was silence in the other side of the door, and then, “I can help.”
“No!” Dazai yells instantly, and he knows any chance he had at lying his way out of this won’t work anymore.
He was gonna try anyways.
He quickly opens a cabinet door and puts the pregnancy test in there, he’d tell Chuuya, but not right now; actually maybe he wouldn’t tell him at all.
“Osamu, I’m coming in.” Chuuya’s voice states, cutting straight through his thoughts.
Dazai quickly touches his face making sure he hadn’t cried at all, and then unlocks the door so his hotheaded husband doesn’t knock it down.
Chuuya’s eyes instantly trail over him, looking for any signs of injury, finding none he looks behind him at the bathroom; no blood or anything, and there weren’t any blades out.
“I think Chibi’s a worry wort.” Dazai says, putting on his mask to cover up the storm of emotions threatening to overwhelm him; and they would if Chuuya tried probing.
“Are you okay?” And of course he would.
Dazai felt like crying, because Chuuya wouldn’t look at him like that if he knew; he’d probably look at him with disgust.
Dazai brushed past him, making it seem like he wanted to sit down as he flops on the bed, laying on his back; but really he just didn’t want to look into Chuuya’s concerned eyes.
“Of course I’m okay.” He knows Chuuya won’t buy it, but he still tries.
Chuuya doesn’t say anything at first, just sits beside him in the bed. “You know you can tell me anything.” He remarks, taking Dazai’s hand in his.
For once Chuuya wasn’t wearing his gloves, and the cold metal of his ring was in stark contrast to the warmth of his palm.
“I know.” Dazai responds, cursing himself for the crack in his voice.
Chuuya squeezes his hand. “Then tell me what’s wrong.” He all but whispers, looking at Dazai with a love he didn’t deserve.
Dazai averts his gaze, and then, not feeling like it was enough, he covers his face with his arm that isn’t holding Chuuya’s hand. “I’m pregnant.” He admits quietly.
Chuuya doesn’t say anything, and Dazai’s too scared to look at his face.
Chuuya’s hand comes and removes his arm from his face, and much to Dazai’s surprise, there wasn’t disgust or anger, just love, and concern. “And you were scared to tell me?” He asks.
Asks as if he’d done something wrong.
Dazai shrugs, not knowing how to reply.
Not knowing how to put his emotions into words.
Chuuya presses a soft kiss to his forehead, “Are you okay?”
Dazai wanted to both laugh and cry, he was concerned about him, of course he was, he wasn’t even sure why he was so worried about Chuuya’s reaction anymore.
“I don’t know.” He admits, voice shaky.
Chuuya pulls him into a sitting position and holds him against him, running his fingers through his hair. “You can do whatever you want Osamu, I’ll make sure of it.”
Dazai felt his eyes fill with tears as he buries his face in Chuuya’s chest, why did he always have to know just what to say to bring him to tears?
“I don’t know what to do.” He sobs, clutching onto the gingers shirt desperately.
“Sh, that’s okay, you don’t have to decide right now, you can take as long as you want; I’ll be here.” He comforts softly.
“Promise?” He pleads.
“Isn’t that what our wedding vows were?” He asks with a chuckle. “I’m not going anywhere, and most certainly not because of this.”
“Even if I abort it?” He asks quietly.
“Even if you abort it.” He assures.
“What if I want to keep it?” He wonders, voice still shaky.
“Then you can keep it, and I’ll be right here.” Chuuya presses a kiss to the top of his head.
“I love you.” The brunette tells his husband, just wanting to hear it said back.
“I love you too, darling, always.” The shorter man tells him.
