Sakura was walking back and forth rubbing her hands nervously. She promised Tomoyo that today would be the day she would tell Syaoran the truth. Sakura actually had two secrets. One was that she was the Cardcaptor. It was her job to capture the Clow Cards to save the Earth. No one except a few people knew about it, including Syaoran. But there was one he didn’t know. That she used to live as a boy. At least for her first 5 years of life. Not long before Kindergarten she went up to her father and said.
Daddy why does everyone say I’m a boy when I’m really a girl?”
“What do you mean, Sanjiro?” Fujitaka asked confused. The child sat on the couch right next to him and looked up.
“I think... I think I’m really a girl.” Sakura said softly.
“You think you’re a girl?” Sakura nodded her head.
“I know I am. I hate being a boy. I want to wear dresses, be a cheerleader when I’m in school, and be a mom.”
“Does anyone else know about this?” He asked.
“Only Tomoyo. I told her a few weeks ago. She told me I need to tell you but I was really scared. I don’t want you to hate me.” There was a moments silence before Fuhitaka took Sakura into his arms and on his lap.
“How long have you felt this way, sweetie?”
“A while. I think I wanted to be a girl when mom died.” Fujitaka closed his eyes and nodded.
“I see.” He put Sakura back on the ground. “How about you go play. I need to talk to your brother about this.” With that we went to Touyas room. He then talked to him about it.
“To tell the truth.” The 11 year old started. “I kind of already knew. I have seen him wear moms clothes a few times before. He always seemed upset when I called him by his name or male pronouns. He also prefers to play with the girls around here than the boys.”
I want you to promise me something.” Fujitaka told his eldest. “I want you to be there for your sibling. Whether he is your brother or sister, be there for him and support him. If we go through with this it’s going to be hard for him, or her for that matter.”
Touya understood. He had promised his mom that he would protect Sanjiro. Though he supposed that wouldn’t be her name anymore. Sakura then walked in. “Well, it looks like I have a sister now.” Sakura smiled and ran up to her father and brother and jumped on them.
“You know.” Fujitaka said. “Your mom was sure she was going to have a girl. So sure she bought some girl's toys and dresses and was shocked when you were born, though she loved you all the same. I guess she was right all along.”
So it was set. Sanjiro became Sakura. Fujotaka suggested it to his daughter because Nadeshiko wanted to name her child Sakura if she had a girl. Sakura loved it and went with it. She started school as a girl. While it was difficult to convince the school to do that and wear the girls uniform he eventually got them to agree. No one except Touya, Tomoyo, and some of the school staff knew about it. By the time she was 10 Sanjiro was just a memory mostly forgotten. She was a cheerleader, good student, and of course the Cardcaptor.
Sakura walked to Syaoran's house ready to tell him the truth. Tomoyo assured her everything would turn out okay. Kero said he would teach the brat a lesson if he did anything mean. Sakura rang the doorbell and Syaoran answered.
“Uh, Sakura!” Syaoran blushed. “Wha-What brings you over here? Did you sense some magic?” Sakura shook her head.
“Actually, there’s something I need to tell you. Can I come in?”
“Uhh, sure.” He let her in and she sat down in the living room. Syaoran made some hot chocolate and gave some to her to which she thanked him.
“So what’s up?” He asked.
“Well, It’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you. It’s something big that I think you should know. Once you do you might not think of me in the same way. You might not see me as a normal girl.”
“Sakura. I’ve thought all kinds of monsters with you, switched bodies with Kero, and fought a powerful four eyes pipsqueak that turned out to be the reincarnation of Clow Reid. I think I can handle anything you throw at me. “Don’t worry.” Sakura smiled and signed.
“The truth is that I’m a trans girl. I was born a boy named Sanjiro but I knew from the time I was in preschool that I was a girl. I've been living as Sakura since I was 5 and entering Kindergarten. My dad worked hard to get me to attend school as a girl but he got it. I know this is shocking but since we're close friends now and because we both admitted are feelings I needed to tell you.”
“Who else knows about this?” He asked.
“The only ones other than my family are Tomoyo, Kero, some of the school staff, and Yukito. Touya told him when they became friends and he was fine with it. I think Eriol knows too knowing him. I'm sorry I didn't tell you for so long. if you hate me now I don't blame you..” Sakura said sadly. Syaoran crossed his arms and sat straight.
“I'll admit I wasn't expecting this. I've heard of trans people before but I've never met one, especially someone so young.”
“My doctor said that will help. If I start early enough I'll look like my mom when I grow up.”
“Well, it doesn't matter who you once were. What matters know is that you're Sakura. That's what your cards say that's who they listen to. The Cardcapor Sakura. And if you ask me, well, I think you make a pretty girl.” Syaoran blushed. Sakura blushed back.
“Uh, Umm. Thanks, Syaoran. I'm glad I have someone like you here.” Sakura smiled and pulled her friend into a hug. Unknowingly to them Nadeshiko was watching from above as she smiled at her daughter.
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Sparkles and Self
Chapter One: Secrets Shared
Written for @harunosakuraweek - Day 3: Healing!
T; 2.7k (this chapter)
Kakashi & Sakura
Kakashi is alarmed and worried to find his pup in deep distress, but he may be particularly suited to help her through this hurt.
This story features trans!Kakashi & trans!Sakura, including some heavy dysphoria on Sakura’s part! It also leans on the hurt/comfort side, but that is a significant part of the story.
It’s a WIP, I plan to post chapter two in two weeks. I guess at it being 4-6 chapters in total when complete?
I tend to project a lot of my gender feelings onto Sakura, since she’s my favourite Naruto character, and I’ve written her as a trans woman, a trans non-binary and a trans man before, so this drawing is meant to represent my love for what she can represent (without specifying what her trans identity is), with the way she’s been coded in the manga, as much more masculine than other girls.
Mako’s Pride Series is a collection of original art and fanart for Pride Summer, depicting original characters as well as characters from a select handful of fandoms, accompanied by Pride flags representing their canon LGBTQIA+ identites or headcanons identities. You are welcome to request a character from the following list of fandoms with their canon/hc identity. If you have an original character you’d like to see represented in the Pride Series, you are welcome to submit it through the form on my blog and i’ll pick a few of various identites to get the most representation without doubles.
Fandom accepted: Naruto, Mass Effect (trilogy), Dishonored, Dragon Age (trilogy), Shadowhunters, Marvel, One Piece, Overwatch
(prompter asked for MadaSaku and was gracious enough to let me make Sakura trans ^^ thanks!!)
I went with 103 (giggly, goofy sex) because I think we all could use some more lightness in our lives.
--
He wasn’t really sure what set of his fit of giggles. Maybe it was the way Madara had been wrestling with his hair for the past minute and a half straight, trying to get it out of his face enough to take a decent breath. Maybe it was the way their bedframe had started squeaking again despite them having just the week before oiled up the joints and managed to make it quiet. Or maybe it was just the honestly silly way skin hitting skin had always sounded, plopping together in a comical fashion that was just unfair given their activities were supposed to be sexy.
Could have been any of those things, really. Could have been something else, too, but it didn’t really matter what the cause was - Sakura found himself having to bite back a grin, trying to not let the fit shake him too bad in hopes that Madara wouldn’t notice.
But of course, the dolt chose now to become observant. He finally managed to shove all of his hair over one shoulder, straining his neck to look back at Sakura with a suspicious squint, his face and neck a dazzling shade of red and his hands not once losing their tight grip on the pillow beneath him.
Probably wasn’t a good look to be caught laughing in the bedroom. But Sakura couldn’t help it, couldn’t bite it back anymore - his small shakes turned into snickers, and full laughter at Madara’s wrinkled nose.
“What’re you laughing at?”
Sakura caught his tongue between his teeth, stopping his already stuttering rhythm to wiggle his hips against Madara’s arse. “Wouldn’t you like to know.” Just to make sure Madara knew he was teasing he squeezed and rubbed one delicious cheek, loving how dramatic and huffy it all made his dearheart.
“Here I am, giving you a gift,” Madara shoved his arse back just to make sure Sakura knew exactly what he was talking about, “and I get laughed at for it. Laughed at!” He homphed his most put upon homph to prove his point, and that really didn’t help Sakura’s fit.
“You are most certainly a gift.” He didn’t even bother keeping up any sort of thrusting at that point, leaning down to lay fully onto Madara’s back and wrap his arms ‘round him quite snug. “But I don’t remember receiving any sort of sympathy when the blender top came off yesterday.”
And just to prove Sakura’s point, he felt Madara shaking with his own snickering beneath him. It earned him a very unheated nip to his shoulder, and then just because he was there - and just because he could - Sakura smattered every inch of skin he could reach with kisses.
I AM LOVE for trans!saku & shika. lots of very much love. so i present to you older!shikasaku, like late thirties, and sakura has transitioned while revolutionizing how transition work (surgery scars who? having to take hormones all your life what? bottom surgery not making you fertile whomst?). they never got to having children because it was never something either wanted, so they just go on living life, being amazing uncles to the gazillion kids the Konoha 11 has between all of them, kicking ass on missions oh and also sakura is hokage cause i said so. (naruto is gaara’s trophy wife and sasuke has disappeared in the woods and no one GIVES A FUCKING SHIT about it yes i have issues about the epilogue who doesn’t come fight me). so hum yeah and if you want more trans!sakura & shikasaku content i wrote a 7k monster about it. also i’m doing nano, if you want we can be buddies my name there is Crecelle, i’m writing my original novel and it’s coming along swimmingly
I'm finding I'm not her (the girl I thought I'd be)
Nine months later, to celebrate Sasuke's graduation from Explosions and Booby-traps Academy, she drags both him and Naruto to a lingerie store.
Read it on AO3
The title is from @mouseymightymarvellous's AMAZING poem, "forgiveness for matryoshka dolls"
Haruno Sakura is born in the early days of spring. She has hair the colour of cherry blossoms and the brightest smile you could wish on a baby's face. Her parents adore her and early on, she's spoiled rotten by every single member of her family. It could be the beginning of a beautiful tale, a happy story to tell children when they ask what a perfect life is. For a few years, it is.
One hot, tiring day of summer, Sakura comes home after a full day playing with the Yamanaka heir, and tells her parents that she wants to join the Academy. She smiles her bright smile and proudly explain how she's going to become the strongest shinobi in the world.
On the same day, Sakura also tells her parents that she is a girl.
Let's try again.
Haruno Nadamaru is born in the early days of spring. He has hair the colour of cherry blossoms and the brightest smile you could wish on a baby's face. Nadamaru is the Haruno's heir, destined to take the Clan Head mantle and keep their trading network in good shape. His mother is already eyeing his cousin Haeru as a potential bride.
One hot, tiring day of summer, Nadamaru comes home with a red ribbon in his pink hair and bright orange fingernails. He talks about his best friend Ino and all the fun they've had playing ninja. He tells them all about Yamanaka-san with his kind eyes and quick laugh and how bad Nadamaru wants to be like him when he grows up.
On the same day, Nadamaru tells them to call him Sakura, like his pretty hair, and asks for a qipao on his next birthday.
Hikari sends her son to his room with a shout and starts crying in her husband's arms. Nadamaru goes, tears streaming down his round face, and swears he'll show them how good a shinobi Haruno Sakura will be.
Sakura graduates a few weeks after her twelfth birthday. She comes home ecstatic, but already expecting the disappointment in her mother's eyes, and the complete disinterest on her father's face. She quickly makes herself a snack, before her mother can decide she'll punish her for her foolishness one more time, and disappears in her room. It still hurts, but it stopped bothering her a long time ago.
Her brand new qipao is waiting for her under the bed, where Sakura hid it this morning. Hikari can't force her to wear more appropriate clothing, but she tries really hard to destroy every dress Sakura might buy for herself. Tomorrow is the big day, and she wants to be the prettiest girl in their promotion. Maybe one of the boys will notice her; surely, if she brings back a good husband, her mother will finally be convinced to let Sakura be herself?
She sighs and carefully braids her long hair, before going to bed. She knows she won't be able to sleep for a while, for how excited she is, but she needs to be well-rested if she wants to pass the test. She can't wait.
Tell me your likes and dislikes, asks the jōnin teacher, and Sakura is about to comply, when he adds the annoying bit about their dream. Sakura has a dream, but she learned a long time ago that it was best not to tell people. No one understood her dream, and her family kept scolding her every time she brought it up. Just like they did when she wore her hair up in a bun with glittering pins, or when she dressed up in her most elegant outfits.
So she bites her lips and waits until both Naruto and Sasuke are done. Then, in a gentle voice and with the greatest care, she crafts her words. She says that her dream is to be acknowledged for who she truly is, and stays quiet when Naruto side-hugs her. She knows how close her answer is to his, and she pretends not to notice her sensei squinting his only eye at her.
The test is a disaster. Sakura gets caught in a genjutsu almost as soon as it starts. She sees Sasuke, lying dead in a pool of blood, and she runs to his crumbled form. Only when she's kneeling next to him does he open his eyes and stares at her. Nadamaru, he whispers, Nadamaru, Nadamaru, Nadamaru—
"Hey, Sakura! Wake up! Kakashi-sensei put you in a genjutsu, but it's over now, don't worry."
Except it's never truly over now, is it, Naruto?
Sakura honestly didn't expect for her secret to hold this long. She's done her best to act true to herself, but sometimes she slips up because Hikari drilled habits into her as hard as she could, whenever Sakura was too tired to fight her mother. Oh, how relentless Hikari could be. And sometimes, that means that Sakura walks with a hunched back and a different sway in her walk. Sometimes, she forgets that she's supposed to trust her team and jokes in a deep voice about girly things and cooties, only to catch herself because she's the one who should be offended at her teammates for making the jokes, not telling them herself.
And yet her secret holds until a few days before the start of the chūnin exams. Everyone in the village heard about it, and so did her parents. When they realized there was no convincing their daughter to back down from her goal, they decided to invite Team 7 to a family dinner, hoping to embarrass Sakura. She won't let them.
After a particularly successful training session that ended with Kakashi almost praising them, Sakura grits her teeth and takes a leap of faith.
"Boys, can I talk to you before we go to Ichiraku?"
Sasuke grunts, looking annoyed, but stays in place. Naruto grins and sits cross-legged next to her, while she gestures for their sensei to join the lopsided circle they created.
"What is it about, Sakura-chan?" Kakashi asks, his orange book balanced on one of his knees. Sakura feels weirdly warm to think he cares enough not to read it when she needs to talk.
"You know my parents invited you to dinner, tonight. And you all promised to go."
Naruto beams. "Yeah, I can't wait to meet them! I'm sure they're really cool."
Cool. Sakura feels like crying. If only.
"There is something you don't know about me, and my parents will definitely talk to you about it. I hope... I hope this won't ruin everything."
Sasuke is frowning and Kakashi has the same look than the day of the test. Naruto just wraps an arm around her shoulders in the half hug he seems to be fond of.
"You can tell us anything, we're your team!"
Sakura nods quickly, holding back the tears she can feel gathering in her eyes. And before she can change her mind, she rushes to grab her ID card in her pouch and throws it at Kakashi's face. Then she ducks her head under a fall of pink strands and waits for the inevitable. And waits. And waits some more.
"Uh."
Sakura chokes on her next breath as she quickly raises her head again. Kakashi is looking at the card with an eyebrow raised, before looking briefly at her, and going back to the card.
"Uh." He says again, then proceeds to shrugging exaggeratedly slow before handing the card to Sasuke. The Uchiha's eyebrows disappear into his hair and he stares at her, not moving when Naruto looks over his shoulder at the ID.
"Who's that, Sakura? Is it your brother?"
It's too much for her, the lack of reaction and Naruto's misunderstanding, and Sakura starts to sob. Deep, ugly sobs she tries to keep silent when she notices how uncomfortable Kakashi looks, but sobs nonetheless.
"Moron!" And Sasuke is punching Naruto, who starts to insult him before freezing when he hears Sakura's hitched breath. He glares back at the card, and a look of understanding settles on his face.
"So you're..."
"Naruto, for once in your life, shut up."
And suddenly, Sasuke is hugging her. Sakura is pretty sure her soul starts to shrivel and ultimately dies inside of her.
"I don't give a flying fuck what your parents decided to call you," he whispers against her ear, "but you're my teammate, Haruno Sakura, and that means I'll stand by you tonight."
As quickly as he appeared, he releases her and settles again on the ground, on Naruto's left. When the Uzumaki looks at him funny, he blushes slightly and looks away.
"My cousin Shisui was... well, you know. Like you. He was like you."
And that settles it. Naruto still hugs her approximately five minutes too long and Kakashi offers to braid her hair, which is frankly terrifying and she does not feel the slightest inch of regret at refusing. When they arrive at the Haruno Estate, on the outskirts of Konoha, none of the boys bat an eye when Hikari asks her son to help them settle in. They call her Sakura and compliment her on her dress and later, much later, after Sakura's tears are dry and Kakashi has finished tying knots in their hair (which he keeps insisting on calling braids), they laugh about the angry look on Hikari's face when she understood she couldn't hurt her daughter that way anymore.
When Sasuke starts his apprenticeship in the Sabotage squad, where his fire jutsu and sharingan makes him an amazing student, Sakura starts to consider her options. Naruto is hinting at a trip with Jiraya, to learn both about his family and the Sannin's techniques. Sasuke is barely in Konoha anymore, spending most of his time in the Forest of Death. And she can't stay with her parents anymore.
Now that she made it clear her shinobi career is here to stay, on top of Konoha's administration giving her a new ID card with her true name on it, the Haruno want nothing to do with her. She's this close to being disowned, and she knows it. It means Sakura needs new living arrangements, possibly someone willing to give her their name. She doesn't mind being clanless, like Tenten, but having a name would definitely help her.
It's Kakashi who suggests she tries it with the Hokage. Tsunade has been here for a few years now, and as scary as she still appears, Sakura has seen her smashed more times than she's seen her sober. It helps a lot with the fear. So she goes to Tsunade, bows to her waist and asks to learn her legendary strength. If Sasuke is to be a sabotage expert, with Naruto's quick thinking and his love for traps, Sakura will need to be the blunt force of their team.
Tsunade laughs at her face and calls her a naive little girl. She tells her she'd be better as a medic, that she should stay at the back because she's not as strong as her teammates. That she should go back to her civilian family and think of marriage and bearing children.
Sakura punches a hole through the Hokage's desk and starts screaming. Tsunade lets her swear for thirty seconds before sending her flying through a wall with a flick of her finger. Then she marches out of the office, picks Sakura up, and goes to the nearest training ground.
Sakura grins a bloody smile. The Hokage read her file. She knows of Nadamaru's shadow, glued to Sakura's steps. And she still asked her if it wouldn't be better for her to go back to her clan and get pregnant. That's the whole three seconds it takes for Sakura to fall in love with the idea of becoming the new Tsunade.
Later in the day, when the Hokage is done printing Sakura patterns into the earth, Tsunade sits in the dirt next to her. She asks in tactless and ugly terms if Sakura wants something done about her body. She talks about surgery and procedures and hormones and medical ninjutsu. When she's done talking, Sakura is smiling through her tears, and Tsunade pats her on the head.
Nine months later, to celebrate Sasuke's graduation from Explosions and Booby-traps Academy, she drags both him and Naruto to a lingerie store.
They're seventeen, with a spring in their steps and the future laid down at their feet. Naruto is trying on a emerald bra with a dangling heart pendant in the center while Sasuke stares at a garter, probably trying to figure out if it's going to kill him in his sleep. Sakura looks at herself in the mirror of their proud eyes and she smiles the brightest smile she can conjure. She's beautiful.
She's beautiful and they tell her that, later, when they're all in the kitchen of their tiny apartment, stuffing their face with ramen. Naruto is leaving again in a few days, this time to the ruins of Uzushio. Except he asked them to come with him, and they both accepted. Sakura is eyeing the jōnin promotion Kakashi swears she has a shot at, but she won't take it just yet. She wants to enjoy the time she has with her teammates, while Naruto is still looking for himself in the shadows of a destroyed village.
They tell her she's beautiful when they lie down on the largest futon and Sasuke unties her chest bandages with his teeth. They tell her how proud they are of the woman she has become while Naruto nips at her hip.
In the morning, when they read over her shoulder the letter of repudiation from her clan, they will kiss her gently. Then Kakashi will rush inside with forms and applications, a few chosen words for the Haruno's decision, and an offer to take his name. And Sakura will smile.
