#trans ish

[pride-hearts]

Trans-ish Hearts

[t0rt1-4ng3l]

you guys can name me. need name. current name is connected to my dead middle name if that's a thing and dont like it anymore so uhm yea comment a name and might pick it. and am super indesisve and won't pick on my own so need your guys help also dont make it girl name otherwise it won't be picked. okay bye

[starsandaces24]

love really figuring out my gender. yes I'm wearing a dress, but I've figured out what I feel about it and also I made it and also it's Victorian because that's what makes me feel gender best. cis people gaze upon me like "normal? girl?" like they're looking into the waters and can't see Cthulhu down there. and I have short pink hair so that throws them off a lot

[the-brothers-karamazov]

i realized today that i only have one name. i am now taking reccomendations for first and last names. there is no guarantee that i will even pick one, but i'll respond to any i get and perhaps rate them, depending on my mood

[voluns]

Today I can really feel that I'm binding Like not uncomfortable or any pain but I'm very hyper aware of it. I've never experienced this before and idk what to think about it

[witchymerqueer-blog]

bay area cutiepocs

party at sf trans march??

[image text because i am zoomed and still squinting at this ish wtf= "TMX . Trans March 2013 . A Decade of Change . 6.28 | Dolores Park, San Francisco.

youth & elder brunch 1-3pm  | see & be seen 3-6pm  |  March 6pm

Featuring: First Nations blessing from Bay Area Indian Two Spirits | MCs: Carla Gay, Mia Tu Mutch and Prado Gomez. Alondra Toruno \ Donna Personna \ Garza \ Holy Old Man Bell \ It's 5oclock Somewhere \ Lady Jazmynne [????? i rly cannot read this] \ Ryan Cassaba \ Stephanie Luz \ Sweet Valley Dolls \ Tifa Love \ Zoetrope [?]

Headlining Band: Star Amerasu & Tuffnstuff  \  Headlining Speaker: Kortney Ryan Zeigler

Trans MArch is an all ages, family friendly even. Pride in the park and party at El Rio (3158 Mission st) from 8pm-2am, benefitting TGUP [?] OVAN! LGBTQI youth after party and art show (ages 14-20) at the Center (1800 Market St) from 7:30-10:30pm"

and then there's some even smaller shit i can't read ]

but who's goin??

[witchymerqueer-blog]

an unreasonably long and rambling post on my gender

‎Tuesday, ‎May ‎01, ‎2012

it's odd to be embarking on this journey of first beginning to describe my gender, considering how long i've identified as genderqueer. but it's entirely possible that 'genderqueer' is a term i took up precisely because it meant i didn't have to explain myself. it meant i didn't have to worry about it.

why am i worrying about it now? i have questions and quandaries about myself in relation to cisgender privilege and cissupremacy. i'm trying to parse this shit out so bear with me if you dare.

so already we've got a bucketful of cis privilege: i never came out (genderwise), never had to ask people to address me with new pronouns (and never had people i care about refuse to use my preferred pronouns), gynecologists don't ask me weird questions, i have never had a confrontation in a public restroom, and there are many more cis privileges i have access to without even realizing.

because i strongly identify as a womyn and with other womyn, there are many experiences of anti-trans discrimination, silencing, and violence that i have not experienced and couldn't even begin to understand and i know that that is privilege. i have never had the kind of body dysmorphia that is central to the popular trajectory of trans lives (although i am so down to discuss less well-known but easily as common differing relationships that trans folks have to their bodies!). i have never wanted hormone replacement therapy or top or bottom surgeries of any sort. (i have not faced the social stigma, discrimination, financial obstacles and general fuckery that so many trans folks face when they want/don't want/try to get/have had those things.) that is privilege, too.

but embodied gender anxiety takes many forms, and for too many years of my life i would look in the mirror and i would see my broad shoulders and my slouch and i would trim the hairs on my chin and i would shave my armpits and i would try to laugh more feminine and i would make sure my hair looked nice so people would think 'what a pretty girl' instead of 'is that a girl??'. it's not a coincidence that i took up the term 'genderqueer' at about the same time i stopped doing all of those things and also started being really serious about learning to love myself.

and hold the phone right there if you have somehow misread my words enough to think i believe trans people hate themselves. or that i believe that people who shave or whatever don't love themselves. i'm not talking about anyone else's gender or anyone else's relationship to themselves or their bodies.

i'm talking about that sick and scared and humiliated feeling i would get, every so often, when i gazed into the mirror and couldn't see a girl. i would look and look, but i couldn't find her, and just remembering that feeling is making me cry so let's move on

for me, being a genderqueer womyn was/is about being a womyn on my own terms. i haven't stopped identifying as a womyn and with other womyn, but yo, i'm still gonna have to do me. and if doing me means that i am frequently not even legible as a womyn, then it is what it is.

i don't know how the majority of people read me. all of the cis people who i feel comfortable asking always say 'you're a womyn, of course!!' and play like they don't see any of my ambiguities or complexities. i think they are trying to comfort me when they do this. this is weird  and actually makes me feel like maybe they look just to the left of my gender, so they can feel comfortable around me.

i don't know how the majority of people read me, but i sometimes look like a black dude to them. these times are obvious because people start treating me like i'm going to steal their purse/shoot them/accuse them of being racist/whatever new scary thing non-black people are terrified of. i'm too tired to even get into this right now.

i don't know how the majority of people read me, but i know that they always have to double-take. many have to stare. some have to ask questions. some have to cause a scene and yell things and try to humiliate me and, on one memorable occasion, throw things.

i'm not downplaying my cis privilege. on some real, checkin privilege checklists like this(http://takesupspace.wordpress.com/cis-privilege-checklist/), i see MANY things i have never had to worry about. but i also see many things i do worry about, some of which are because i'm black (hello, race analysis is pretty important part of a privilege checklist), some of which are because i'm queer, and some of which are because, whether or not i identify as a womyn, i don't always pass. gender isn't just what you feel~~~ it also has elements of presentation, and of recognition.

as a genderqueer womyn, i declare my right to my own womynhood. i declare my right to define the bounds of my own womynhood. i lay claim to the places where i am flat and the places where i am curvy. my womynhood encompasses both my beard and my cunt and my slouch and all of my body hair and my painted toenails at the ends of my big feet. my gender is like the picture of Feminine and the picture of Masculine got smashed apart, completely shattered with a bat covered in rhinestones and glitter. and then someone swept up half the shards and made a beautiful piece of fabulous, boldly colored broken glass art. and then added spikes and chains and skulls around the frame for no reason at all. and if you tilt your head and squint at it, just a bit, it looks a lot like a brightly colored, bad ass cunt.

[witchymerqueer-blog]

received this link in an email this morning!

LGBTQQI2-S advocates and allies are working to make California a safer and supportive space. If you or someone you know identifies as a member of the LGBTQQI2-S community, please take the time to fill out or pass on this survey to help our allies in their brave and wonderful work! http://tinyurl.com/LGBTReducingDisparities