answering some questions from Twitter—
Q: I actually don’t understand how one can be both transgender and non-binary. Can you explain a little about why you identify with both of those labels?
A: “Transgender“ and “nonbinary“ are both big umbrellas that encompass a wide variety of experiences! This is by no means comprehensive (or perfectly representative of overlaps), but here’s a visual to give you a rough idea:
Many, but not all, transgender people still fall under a binary gender umbrella (FtM, MtF). But “transgender“ means not identifying with your assigned gender at birth, or AGAB (whether or not you transition)— so it also includes nonbinary people who vibe with that term.
(The white stripe in the transgender flag also represents nonbinary genders!)
Some nonbinary people still feel connected to their AGAB (i.e. Rebecca Sugar is a nonbinary woman) and they may or may not also identify as trans. It’s all personal preference. :)
I often say I identify *with* women even though I don’t identify *as* one, because I’ve been socialized in the same way (and am usually perceived as one). But I’m not a woman— that hasn’t ever felt right and doesn’t suit me. And I’m not a man either. I’m something in between!
Again, nonbinary isn’t a singular gender or experience— but for me, I’m trans because I’m not the AGAB I was given, and nonbinary because that gender falls outside the binary.
Q: I see on your profile that you have te/ter as well as they/them listed as your pronouns. When should I use which? I’ve never heard of te/ter.
A: te/ter is a weird one and I know it 😅(you may have heard of “neopronouns,” which are usually referred to derisively and considered “cringe-y”). So, that’s why I also list they/them— even that set is still gaining traction, but it’s one that people have usually heard of.
For me, “she/her” makes me dysphoric, and “he/him” feels better but still not entirely accurate. So I defaulted to “they/them” which feels, appropriately, neutral; but since it’s conjugated as a plural, in practice I’ve found it clunky and impersonal.
So that’s what drew me to te/ter! Here’s how it’s used in context:
That’s Ash, te is writing a tweet.
I hope ter tweet will be good.
Right now, Ash is talking about terself.
Pronunciation-wise it rhymes with he and her.
So overall I prefer te/ter but honestly I’m bashful about asking for it (especially in person), so they/them is just fine with me too.