#transchildhood

[sleepyeepyvoidcat]

.•. Transchildhood .•.

Where one desires a different childhood than the one they have.

[atransreflection]

Trans Childhood Confessions #08

My first experience with gender dysphoria - but I didnt know it.

When I was younger Id always play the males when we played pretend in primary school, if someone tried to make me play the female id get mad and uncomfortable for some reason.

When I got to highschool and we all discussed our favorite characters in films and tv series I noticed it was normal male characters, I somehow identified with them more - a million times so if they were in the lgbt community.

When I began making OCs I noticed non of them were the female gender, because whem I make an OC I want to put a piece of myself into each one, and im not female, it somehow makes me uncomfortable to have that.

Now when I play roleplaying games, wether that be D&D or video games like Skyrim, I cant play females, especially when Its a game where you really get into it like D&D. It actually makes me feel so dysphoric, why would I play as female when I can get as close to the male experience as I can?

[sleepyeepyvoidcat]

.•. (Trans)Nullchildhood .•.

Where one desires to have/have had a lack of childhood.

.•. (Trans)happychildhood .•.

Where one desires to have/have had a happy childhood.

[atransreflection]

Trans Childhood Confessions #07

I think this is a very big thing for me to realise, and its only a recent realisation. I feel like I get a lot of voices asking about how I could go through all my formative years being fine wearing dresses, having my chest visable, wearing makeup and so on.. basically looking 'feminine' (what ever that means) without having an issue with it, but now in recent years it makes me dysphoric. When I was a teen I loved dressing up, wearing dresses, I thought it was sexy and that I looked good. But, and this is a big one, it wasnt me. I looked in the mirror and saw a sexy female, not to sound big headed, BUT, that wasnt me, I was looking at what might as well of been a picture of a women on the wall. I saw someone else, and thought they looked good - as more people told me I looked sexy or nice, id want to do that more for other people. But it wasnt me, it never was. Eventually I realised this, so I started to dress differently, I wore a binder and 'masculine' clothing, looking in the mirror, I cried. I actually cried, because thats me - right there. Yes theres some things that stuck out as not me, but I cant change those things just yet, but one day it'll be me to the fullest in that mirror, and itll be amazing.

[atransreflection]

Trans Childhood Confessions #04

My first experience with anything LGBT was when I was about 10 and I was left in a hotel room while my parents were at dinner. I had decided to just flick through channels and stopped on this film about a young man in a rich bloodline, he was maybe a lord of something? He started talking to his male servant and eventually they were kissing outside and in his room - My little self was gobsmacked, I remember thinking 'this is a thing??' And thats all I wanted, I wanted to be him - I wanted to be apart of this more, I felt like these were my people. I still don't remember what film this actually is, I wish I knew.

[atransreflection]

Trans Childhood Confessions #05

I just now remebered when I was about 10, I had a plastic half circle shaped, thing? I put it in my underwear and looked in the mirror, for some odd reason I felt so happy seeing thay, and the l felt like this belonged. But, this was a piece of plastic and was super uncomfortable - so I never wore it again, being so young I didnt think about trying alternatives. I now pack 24/7 almost

[atransreflection]

Trans Childhood Confessions #03

I remember waking up one day and looking down at my chest and realising I was growing my pancakes, it really confused me but I knew that thats what women got. Later on in life I realised that no, thats what people born in the female body were given - but that doesnt make you female. I cried so much, my 11 year old self was so upset that I could no longer play pretend and be a boy because I felt like I didn't look 'male' anymore. It was so disheartening.. maybe someday I dont have to play pretend with my body?

[atransreflection]

Trans Childhood Confession #01

Making and playing with ONLY male characters because when you can choose to be any gender character, why wouldn’t you be male when that’s how you feel inside.