#transdee

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It’s most likely that I have my top surgery on Wednesday. *deep breath* I still cannot believe it. 

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fucking uterine cramps, they hurt are so bad, fuuuck. jfc as if life wasn't bad enough

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Today dysphoria punched me in the gut pretty hard. 

I had to take some photos to change my school paperwork. and when they hand me the photos I feel so disgusted with myself, watching my own photos of my face. I felt to fucking disgusting, like vile coming up to my throat. 

I felt so angry for no damn reason. I’m still angry and I can’t focus on a big homework I have due tomorrow.... ugh. 

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So... my appointment to change my legal name and gender marker is tomorrow, worse timing ever (I have a seven page essay to write for Thursday) but fucking finally! 

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I can't make an appointment change my name and gender officially until march 31. The joys of burocratic shit. Sigh.

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I am soooo damn tired. Like, really tired, and its Monday and im like, tired you know? I would like this semester to be over, thank you very much. Remember kinds, never take nine classes, one seminar and a foreign language, that’s unhealthy and stupid. On other news, tomorrow I am going to make an appointment to have my name and gender marker changed, with me luck.

I don't know how to english anymore, sorry,

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I need like... 180 us dollars to buy basic trans shit. like a binder that really works, and a way to pee standing up because men's restroom are fucking disgusting and gross, man.

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Yesss, I inject myself for the first time and it didn't hurt at all! Well, there was blood not a lot so I guess it went Ok for be the first time.