#transfangbenny

[emotionalsupportpistol]

s1 blacknatural dean with his afro braided down into 9 rows!!!

[cassierobinsons]

I read your tag on @scoobydoodean ‘s post concerning Sam not allowing Dean to have monster friends, something like “he’s only allowed to have friends if Sam can project on them” and it made me think about the whole Sam & Benny thing in a different light.

I may be the odd one out here, but in my mind Sam and Benny had a lot more in common than Sam may have wanted to realize. Sam spends a lot of Season Eight angry about the fact, in his mind, he failed to save Dean in Purgatory, and in turn Dean turns to a vampire for camaraderie and friendship. It’s clear Sam doesn’t like Benny, and everyone has different reasons as to why, but I think in a way Sam may have saw a bit of himself in Benny that he didn’t like, which was the struggle with bloodlust and addiction.

He saw one of his worst qualities in Benny, something he saw as the reason he is impure, why Dean “struggles” often to trust him, etc. So perhaps part of it was projection? He sees himself as inherently impure, not good, untrustworthy, so it’s hard for him to separate how he feels about himself from Benny, an actual vampire, even though time and time again Benny had done nothing but prove himself trustworthy. He sees himself in Benny but what he saw were the irredeemable bits, the parts that needed to be cut out or what have you.

I don’t know, I just thought it was an interesting perspective and wanted to see what you thought. 🩷

(the post in question)

yeah, agreed - sam's issues with benny weren't about benny himself but instead about sam's guilt/shame. he couldn't deal with those negative feelings in a healthy way so he channelled them into hating benny.

what i will say though is that sam's perception of reality often isn't what actually happened. like, sam thinks dean distrusted him back in s4 because of the demon blood and not because of the numerous other dodgy things he did that season, including but not limited to trying to choke dean unconscious. granted dean responds very poorly to everything demon blood-related due to how fresh his hell trauma is, but sam still downplays the extent to which his own actions contributed to the breakdown in their dynamic.

in sam's head it's like "i'm a freak -> dean was angry at me for being a freak -> benny is a freak but dean isn't angry at him -> this must be because dean's judgment is impaired -> i will now impress upon dean the extent of benny's freakishness", hence citizen fang. sam's so wrapped up in the idea that dean's disdain was due to something inherent in sam that idea of benny earning dean's trust through his deeds in purgatory just doesn't compute.

honestly, typing this all out is making me realise that the s8 finale was the perfect time to address the fake voicemail in 4x22.

[wanderingcas]

Also I had a question, if you can answer!

In canon Benny is Cajun, but I believe your story takes place in Ireland (correct me if I’m wrong!) so I was wondering what Bennys accent would be here? Or is it relatively the same as in the show? I love minor details like these, especially when it comes to Benny. 🩷

ooh yes! I actually thought about this, even though his backstory didn't get into the fic - it's actually set in Maine (but i also understand why you'd think ireland lol) and I thought that maybe since Benny and Dean met in high school, he moved up there around that time from Louisiana because of a big life change, like a parent dying or maybe his family just wanted a change in scenery for whatever reason. but either way, he comes from a family of fishermen, which is why he ended up fishing lobster on the coast after graduating! so bottom line - yes, still a cajun accent, just less thick since moving etc

[sacrificialsam]

You have such good takes, I wanna study your brain.

thanks, i appreciate it. update me if you find out which part of the brain is responsible for winchester derangement syndrome.

[cassierobinsons]

One thing about me is I completely disregard Amy but will absolutely defend Emma to the ends of the earth. 🙏🏾❤️

me too ✊🏾 and idc how many people block me because of it! We're right!!!

[wanderingcas]

⚠️Spoilers for the new chapter (20) up ahead ⚠️

Omg you were right, the chapter was freaking bonkers omg.

I’m so hooked as to why someone or a group of people may be looking for Cas in the first place, though I have a hunch he’s more running away from a dangerous situation rather than he being the danger himself, y’know what I’m saying?

And Benny, omg. You can just feel the hurt in that entire conversation, and in a ways I can understand why. Here he’s always loved and cared about Dean, tried to be there for him in whatever way possible, but somehow in someway he’s managed to open up to Castiel more. It’s protectiveness with a big side of hurt, and it really hurt 😭😭

Another amazing update as always 💙💙

"freaking bonkers" is exactly how i wanted it to be described so thank you alskjdfa

i hate to be spoilery, but you WILL figure all that out in the next chapter! I didn't want to hold back the truth for TOO long because the fallout of it is just as compelling as to what it actually is, if that makes sense. so look forward to that 👀

ahh it was so hard to write Benny in this chapter! people are tearing him apart in the comments, which is fair, but it's probably so hard to be in love with someone and see them work FAR better with a new person... idk! it'd be difficult! so i'm glad you see his side in it haha. I was worried I wasn't writing him sympathetically enough.

thank you so much for reading and telling me what you thought!! <3

[wanderingcas]

*My ask contains spoilers for the new update so heads up jic!!! 🩷*

The Dean and Benny interaction in Ch.13 was heartbreaking, because I really think although for whatever reasons they didn’t work out, Benny wants to be there for Dean and comfort him in whatever way he can. I know people typically see jealousy in Cas and Benny’s interactions, but I always saw it as someone protecting those they love through their own means, at least on Bennys end.

firstly THANK YOU FOR THE SPOILER WARNING IN RED NO LESS you are amazing for that

second of all - yes. absolutely to everything you said. i love writing stories where there's some sort of meaty relationship breakup story in someone's past for EXACTLY this reason (especially, in dean and cas's case, where they're both in their mid 30s and have lived some life before meeting each other). i tried to write it in a way that's like - benny and dean outgrew each other in different ways, but they're still trying their best to care about each other even though romantically they don't "fit" anymore. and cas is sort of symbolizing (and catalyzing) the new phase of dean's life, kinda more of what he needs right now, romantically speaking. idk i'm saying a lot but i hope my point is coming across lol i just love writing the dynamics in this story so much and benny in particular was really interesting to write

[pregnancykink]

Need to know what you personally see Benny as in the A/B/O universe </33

For me - an alpha for sure!