#transgender work

[ts-inspire]

[trans-matters]

I am really close with all of my coworkers. I'm 18 and have just come to terms with being ftm. However I still present as feminine.I work in retail and I have to.How does transitioning at work go? Do I just show up one day with a new name and pronouns? Or do I talk to someone first? I'm scared of being judged, but I'm one of the best workers there. I don't think I would get fired. But I feel like I may not be comfortable transitioning and staying at the same job. Any advice would be helpful.-Sam

I would scheduled a meeting with my bosses, bring some articles about transgender people and sit them down and be like I am trans, I will be transitioning from X gender to X gender. I hope this does not change how you view me, the only things that will be changing in this office for me are my name and the pronouns that I go by. Otherwise I’m going to be the same great, hard working person–just a lot more comfortable in my body. I’m open to any questions you have for me and is there anything I need to do to get the ball rolling.

Afterwards pull your close coworker friends aside that week or write them an email and I would say basically the same thing you said to your bosses and you know maybe give yourself a date when this will be happening. I told everyone what was going on and gave it about a week to set in and then starting to change things over.

Kyle

[little-sunflower-prince]

I start a new job on Wednesday and I just got a call telling me that there won’t be any problem for them about calling me Adam and unsing masculin pronouns and I felt that huuuuuge weight coming off my shoulders, I’m so happy and impatience to work there!!!

[takoluka39]

She’s Not Him

I am going to do my best to not name names in this blog, so for the purpose of this rant, I am going to refer to the assistant manager that I spoke with at work on Oct  8, 2017 as “ASM”.

Here’s my problem with ASM:

1) He tried to relate to me by telling me how he has a best friend that he grew up with, who came out as transgender when they were growing up.  He kept referring to his friend as “he”, it made me brace for trouble, but I tried to hold out hope that maybe his best friend is FTM.  But no, I was wrong- he started talking about his friend wearing nail polish and dressing feminine, and at that point it was clear that he was misgendering this supposed ‘best friend’.  It bugs me so much that I still want to go tell him that he’s kind of being a jerk to this person for using masculine pronouns to describe her.  Which kinds of leads to the second thing.

2) He was supposedly supportive in the meeting, and he has always seemed like a nice guy but he clearly does not get it.  In all honesty, I’m going to have to be, and I should be the one to educate him.  Like he was kind of standoffish about the whole bathroom thing, which I get cause he doesn’t want people to freak out.  But his reason for wanting me to wait to use the women’s room is so flawed and upsetting- like he wants me to look more feminine first so people can “get it” but how are people going to “get it” that I’m a girl if I keep using the men’s room?  And since our meeting a week ago, he still refers to me by my dead name, he still cause greets me with “What’s up man”, and uses masculine pronouns to describe me.  It’s been draining for me to have to keep telling new people, and it’s very hard for me to know when/if I should be correcting people.  But I think the next time I see him I’m going to have to talk to him about it.  Because I need the person who is going to be my support in dealing with management to be someone who understands who I am inside.  I just need to get over it and stop letting coworkers call me “man, bro”, etc, particularly those who I’ve had conversations with and ostensibly understand my situation.

I am grateful to my friend who actually came up to me today and asked if I want her to correct people if they use my dead name and/or masculine pronouns to describe me.  I meekly told her that yes, I would appreciate it very much if she would correct them for me if she hears them use the wrong words.  I know it’s my place to say it, not hers, but I am grateful that she wants to be there for me.  I couldn’t do any of this without my friends.