This is for that anon who asked about downsides of HRT: I'm the only trans woman I know who's gotten the reduced libido thing, but it was very much offset by the increase that came from being more comfortable in my body. I also got some difficulty urinating as a result of that whole system shrinking, and some pretty brutal thigh acne. But I don't really get PMS, so you know. It's really a bit of a grab bag what you're going to get, but I don't know anyone who's regretted it because of side effec
hi! do you think you could talk more about the more important side effects of taking hormones? or things you should know about it before deciding to? i'm not sure whether i want to or not, mostly because the whole infertile thing kind of scares me
Long post incoming!
If you’re asking about like, negative side effects, there’s really not that many. The most notable one for some people is, like you say, that you’re very likely to end up sterile after a bit. It turns out if you pull all the testosterone out of that particular system it tends to not work so well. There’s always the option of freezing sperm for if you wish to use it in the future, but I’m told it’s quite expensive (I didn’t bother with it so I dunno exactly how much).
Along with that there’s a chance that your overall sexual function will decrease somewhat. You may find it slightly more difficult to get and maintain an erection, although the chances of things completely not working are pretty slim.
People will tell you a lot that your libido will likely decrease but I’m gonna be totally honest if that’s ever happened to anyone I haven’t met them. If anything it seems more likely that it might increase as you get more comfortable with yourself.
This one I’m still not sure about but I’ve heard a lot of women corroborate it and my own experience seems to line up: there’s a possibility you start to experience some of the symptoms of PMS. Obviously you’re not gonna have an actual period, but a lot of the side effects of that process are hormone dependent, so you might find yourself going through a few days of discomfort every month. The types and severity of symptoms you experience depends on the person; even in afab folks there’s a pretty big variation from person to person. Personally I tend to get pretty nasty mood swings, fatigue, and really sore breasts.
Speaking of breasts, they’re not gonna go away even if you stop estrogen, but usually that’s part of the appeal so that’s probably not a problem. They will ache and be ridiculously sensitive pretty much constantly when they start coming in though, so I’d recommend investing in some really soft sports bras and some painkillers, and if you have habit of flopping down on your front break that now, cuz you’re gonna regret it sooooooo much the first time you do it after this starts.
If you have a family history of migraines but you don’t get them now there’s a chance you might be a little more susceptible after. I get them every now and then whereas before I think I’d had like two.
There’s a small chance you may shrink an inch or two, because your pelvis is gonna rotate forward a bit. It may also widen a bit depending on how young you are when you start. This I’ve gathered just from my own reading so I’m not 100% confident that’s entirely true, but it does seem to make sense, and would explain why I spent a few weeks with a significant amount of pain around my hips around the six month mark. Seriously, that was definitely the least enjoyable part of this whole experience.
Specifically about the medication, you’re gonna spend a few days being incredibly nauseous while your body adjusts right after you start, but that’ll pass. Spironolactone also makes you have to pee constantly for a few hours after you take it, and reduces your sodium levels quite a lot. You’ll have to make sure you drink plenty of fluids to avoid being dehydrated, and you’re gonna crave salty food, which you should eat plenty of to offset the medication. This is where the whole “trans girls love pickles” thing comes from.
Finally, there’s a few health things that your doctor is likely gonna bring up pretty often. Your chances for blood clots and breast cancer will increase, BUT what may not be entirely obvious from whatever info they give you is that that increase is still TINY. Blood clots aren’t very likely unless you’re predisposed already, and your chances of getting breast cancer are only slightly higher than a cis man’s (it can still happen tho, so learn how to do a self exam!). What they also likely won’t mention is that your chances of prostate cancer drop SIGNIFICANTLY. Again, you’re still gonna want to get checked once you’ve reached the age for that, but while it’s pretty common in cis men, it’s very rare in trans women.
And that’s pretty much everything I can think of. But if you think that sounds like a lot, the list of benefits has to be like, twenty times longer. It’s really insane how much changes; I don’t think I can put it all in one post.
Feel free to ignore if this question is inappropriate. How do you know if transition is the right move? I think I'm trans but it seems like such a hard road to take on and I wonder if I'm better off keeping it to myself as much as I can.
First things first: If you think you’re trans, you probably are. The next thing I want to say is that the narrative that trans people just know, that we just have inherent knowledge of our gender, and that we know at a young age is a garbage narrative. It’s the one cis people are the most comfortable with, though, and as a result it’s the most prevalent one.
The first thing to note is that self diagnosis is helpful. I think all of the therapists I’ve talked to have said that, whether or not they were the therapist I was currently going to for my own mental health. They can’t tell you what’s going on in your head, only you can.* It’s also why trans people like to point out what I said earlier, that if you feel like you’re another gender, then you probably are; cis people don’t tend to question their gender as much as we do.
Unfortunately, I can’t tell you that you will ever be 100% certain. I wasn’t. Not until I took my first dose of hormones. The instant I did, I felt better. Happier. I mean, I still have doubts, but I remember that change. I may still be a depressed, neurotic mess, but I am happier with my gender, I am happier with who i see in the mirror. The best and possibly only way to tell if taking the step to transition is the right one is to take it.
Taking that step is hard and the road leads to challenges. It is a difficult step to make. You don’t have to keep going if you decide it doesn’t fit, but if you decide to stop entirely because you’re worried about social backlash, it’s just gonna make you more miserable in the long run. The important thing is to do it for you and to do it safely.
However, what the step IS may not be what you think it is.
I’m gonna hide that under the cut because this has already taken up a lot of space.
I gotta back up a bit because there’s more to transition than just medication and i think it merits noting. The first thing is social transition. Social transition is pretty much what it sounds like: taking steps to present as your gender in social situations. You have to take baby steps. If you try to do it all at once, it will be overwhelming and you will eventually stop entirely. Take the steps you feel comfortable taking, and then try to take a step a little outside that comfort until the new step becomes comfortable and then take a new small one.
For me, I first started experimenting at home with the right clothing and stuff. When it came time to go out in public, I mostly just painted my nails a lot. I mean a LOT. I still have an absurd amount of nail polish because it felt like the safest way to express that part of me. Then I started buying the right clothing. Women’s clothing. MY clothing. Well okay, a friend did that for me at first because I’m full of anxiety, but eventually I did this for myself. After a while, I did start wearing the right clothing outside, but nothing extremely noticeable to start. I kept adding things to my daily wear but only things I actually wanted to try. I would say that’s important as well, that you should only take the steps you want or feel compelled to take. Anything else is superfluous imo.
Next is therapy. I was already seeing a psychiatrist for my meds but, after I realized how important this side of me was, I went to a therapist. I was lucky enough to find one who specialized in gender studies but I know that isn’t always possible. With him, I set up a plan for myself: If I still wanted hormones after a year of testing the waters with this stuff, I would ask for them. I uh….I didn’t make it to a year. I’m impatient and impulsive but i think I still made it like 10 months. Regardless, you will likely need to see a therapist before you can get hormones prescribed. It will also help by giving you a place to explore these things out loud. I would recommend looking up therapists that have experience with trans healthcare if possible. If not, try to ask some trans people in your area for recs, online or otherwise.
During this time I tried adding things to my daily wear, though not all of it was obvious or even visible. I started thinking of how it would feel to be recognized as a woman. I thought about that a lot. I tried to focus on the nice parts. That’s the main thing, really.
I had doubts. I still, to this day, wonder about it. But then I look in the mirror and I see me. That’s what transition is really all about. It’s about seeing yourself in the mirror.
* still important to note that you won’t always be right because that’s just unlikely and going to a doc or therapist or whatever is necessary to double check and, if you want, to get officially diagnosed.
Ok so I’m going through a legal name change right now, and I just got my certified copies from the county clerk and I’m dumb hype rn. So in total I’ve paid $15 for my name change (had a pro bono lawyer do my paperwork, got to skip putting my name change in the papers, and paid $5 for each certified copy). Dead thought I was gonna have to pay like a hunty for each certificate. Now just gotta send everything to ss/school/etc. :D
