I won’t lose any sleep, since I never had any to lose in the first place. I can’t take everything home with me, but where else can my shoulders stay. The last ship departing this uncertain hell has been overbooked. We are dropping off into the endless ocean of blood, like starved flies. Dark adolescence harboring such deep resentment for the thirty-something I’ve become a mess of, nowhere near understanding the ricochet of such potential the devil deserves first crack at, since he’s worked so hard on us to fall away from God. God did it to himself. I don’t know who I can believe anymore. I just want my mom to get better. Click your heels together to wish for your miracles, but with an increasingly hoarse voice shallowly speaking to plugged up ears on the other end of the line, there will be none granted tonight, between the sleep and the fatigue. This is a long, winding, difficult road to have to travel at such a slow pace. Answers should be overnight, but those probably aren’t the answers I want anyway. The apocalypse doesn’t seem so disturbing of an outcome anymore. I welcome this impending plight, where we can all share in the accelerated genocide. I should not be looking forward to the next global holocaust, but some sick, poisoned rooted side of me, needs the world to feel the same as I did when I found out the news about my mom. No need to repent, have no revenge on the agenda today, only trying to get by the shadows our tolls have taken a cast upon all possible light, stricken, paralyzed. The direst consequences seem not to match the victims paying full for them, upfront the piling bills on our over drafted, overspent, deeply indebted humanities. Modern medicine hides the ultimate guessing game. Diagnosis is one part of a three part full scale invasion. Treatment is a nuclear bomb for a pinprick. I don’t care about your well documented philosophies. No test can prove any different between the nausea and the hunger. I won’t let my mom get lost to another never answered, in your statistically proven, smoke and mirrors.
