I MARRIED A TREE BEAST!: MIQO'TE FINDS LOVE AS CONJURERS PROTEST
Commotion has stirred up in the Eastern Shroud this week as the Sanctum of the Twelve, bastion to any seeking to make the vows of an Eternal Bond, is crowded up with a slightly more rowdy ceremonial party than usual. This Valentione’s, atop the already blustering heart-swept season of love and sappy romance, Ceremony Planner Claribel is battling through a brand new wave of visitors - an angry band of conjurers come to protest the bonding ceremony of a bright-eyed Miqo'te and her handsome arboreous lover.
The Miqo'te - The Botanist Guild’s favored daughter Lenhesi Kaar - and her Bond-Recipient to be - a genderless, nameless, good-manners-less treant with a bit of a perverted stare - arrived at the Sanctum earlier in the holiday. And while the ceremony itself went off without a hitch with several bells’ worth of celebration on the part of the Botanist Guild, Lenhesi’s parents, and about twenty random onlookers, a short report back to Gridania to get Lenhesi’s legal papers updated brought on the wrath of those much less exited. In no time a party from the Conjurer’s Guild had arrived at Claribel’s doorstep, demanding a recall of the ceremony contract and setting up protests against the Sanctum’s stance on Spoken/Unspoken Bonding.
“This goes against what the Elementals have wished for!” One Elezen member of the Conjurer’s Guild claims, stating that despite his firm beliefs that love for the forest should come before all things, this righteous act of pure adoration is not what anyone should ever mean by that. “At least,” he continues, “We think it does. Either way, look at it! We don’t even know if it wants to be married! Or, if it does, if it wants to be married to a Miqo'te! We can’t even understand the thing! How do we know its aesthetic preferences in a partner!”
The conjurer proceeded to deny any and all accusations that he had been making eyes at the very same tree beast just three nights before, despite irrevocable evidence, and threatened legal action should the line of questioning continue and/or be included in this relevant article in any way.
(Joke’s on you, sir - our lawyer’s on holiday.)
“You won’t believe what it can do with its branches!” Is what Lenhesi told us, when interviewed about her opinion on the crowd-sweeping ordeal. When informed we weren’t looking to title our related report ‘Ten Ways To Come Closer To Nature’, and were more asking about the conjurer protest and the vicious attacks on the true love she holds for her dearly beloved bark monster, Lenhesi informed us we should rethink our article and hear her out. Nobody tells us what to do, so we absolutely will not.
When pressed for its take on all this and its pure, unending love for Lenhesi, how it’s going to provide for their future Miqo'te/Tree Beast family (however that’s going to work out), and how it actually feels about that uppity Elezen conjurer, the tree beast growled a bit and immediately ran off to chase around a scrawny looking, passing adventurer.
Might want to keep an eye on that one, Lenhesi!
Written by interspecies love expert Kagome Voulaizunlezotre