Sep 13, 2024
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Checking the political rpf tag on AO3 out of curiosity and... yeah, it’s looking exactly like expected lmao
Guys i hate the election why did they have to queerbait us and then basically kill sleepy joe off like wtf triden had so much potential
A friend recommended me to give Rei (the lesbian npc) a death note since Naoto is a detective
It was just the average day in Inaba. Rei was strolling around like usual when she found an odd notebook. Normally Rei wouldn’t grab random notebooks but this one looked pretty fancy and there wasn’t any dog shit, cat pee or dirt on it so it’s probably fine.
As she grabbed the notebook she read the title of it. “Daytho nawt????” You see dear observer, our local lesbian is currently failing all of her English classes because she’s to busy drawing yuri in her notebook during class. Also she refuses to learn the language of the British. While she may not understand the text inside of the notebook it seemed quite handy.
She did not notice the nefarious hideous creature behind her, despite the fact it was trying to get her attention REALLY bad. She just didn’t seem to be able to see it, so locked into using the notebook to continue her passion of writing Yuri about those two girls from the magical girl anime she liked. She also made a quick sketch of that one new teacher at the school who had been pissing her off.
🔥🔥🔥🔥NORIKO KASHIWAGI🔥🔥🔥🔥
, under which she wrote, ‘Noriko kashiwagi, the woman who should’ve been on some sort of list by now.’ She added like 14 stink lines to the drawing, the woman absolutely reeked of whatever perfume she wore. It really messed with Rei’s… whatever she doesn’t really know it just really bothers her. She needs that woman dead.
Conveniently, the woman died the next day
Rei couldn’t be bothered less, in the break, instead of choosing to mourn the loss of her ‘BelOVeD TeAchEr’ she just opted to write peak yaoi instead out of spite.
‘As Joe Biden put her hand lovingly on the other mans lap and began to wander lower on the orange mans pants, feeling the slight bul-‘ “Hinotashi-San, may I enquire on what you’re currently doing?” a frowning Shirogane stared over her shoulders. On instinct she immediately slapped close the note book.
Meet Naoto. Rei’s current number 1 issue, the British ;and heavy emphasis on British because this man- well woman (she only just found out but it changes nothing) had an insanely thick British accent and seemed to solely drink tea) detective kept following her around at school and even sometimes after school for some odd reason. She looked a little shaken up, probably from the teachers sudden death or something.
‘She has an odd notebook and she’s acting rather nonchalant about this entire situation. She seems like she’s hiding something. There’s a 60 procent chance she’s the killer’ Naoto thought to herself
‘She probably thinks I’ve been writing yaoi, though I can’t let her know that. She might suspect I’ve been writing unethical political fanfiction even. At this rate she’s bound to find out about my secret hobbies and I can let a British snob like herself find that out. I will have to distract her. Near us are pigeons and yesterday she had mentioned how her parents had died in a car crash unprompted. That’s it! I should just’ “I’ve sent birds to your house to shit on your mom”
“….” Naoto looked at her bewildered. “I physically can not, not make out with you” and with that they kissed yurifully. Naoto used this as an opportunity to steal said notebook from the girl. Though it was already to late.
“GET DOWN MISTER PRESIDENT” Nanako, wearing her cute frog hat, yelled at the tv in the elementary school that was there for some odd reason, the caretaker panicked to shut off the tv in a microinstant.
Oh right politics
Love loses 💔
“I’m SICK of you, Elon.” Donald trump spat out. Elon brought a hand out, not to do a Nazi salute, but rather, to bring it to his heart in appalled shock. He crumpled at his feet and fell to the ground. Shaking. Tears welled his his eyes. His lip quivered.
No. NO! Those words spun in his mind. “I’m sick of you, Elon.”
Donald trump was sick of him? of *HIM?* the ingenious, prodigious, savant of a man, the developer of space-x, x, x-ae^2, the letter x, the man behind the great minds of America? The brains to his brawn? America would never be great again, not without him. NOT without Elon. Trump couldn’t possibly be sick of him.
Elon weakly, desperately, like a rat clinging to the walls of a New York City Subway, crawled towards Donald’s feet. Begging, CRYING, asking:
”why, WHY DONALD WHY!? WHY ARE YOU SICK OF ME DONALD!? WHAT DID I DO TO YOU!? IVE GIVEN YOU NOTHING BUT MY HIGHEST PRAISE, MY MONEY, MY ADMIRATION, I-I EVEN—“
“Shut. Up.” Donald interrupted his pleas bitterly. “I don’t care! Can’t you see, Elon?! You’re nothing but a trump to my own life.”
“…but your own name is tr—“
“SILENCE!!!!” the White House shook. Trump kicked elon away and he rolled to the wall, falling against it with a thud. Elon desperately tried to pull himself up but was wracked with sobs. Why, why was trump doing this to him?
Trump walked over, sneering over Elon’s dismay.
“You’re too clingy. Elon. I never felt anything towards you. You’re too loving…youre too caring.”
Elon scoffed, bitter hatred coming into his head.
“Is this because you still miss Joe!?”
…
Donald stopped. His smile dropped. He practically rolled over.
“What?”
“H..Hahaha…HAHAHHAHA! ITS BECAUSE OF JOE ISNT IT!? YOU STILL MISS HIM! YOU STILL MISS JOE!”
“Wh-WHAT!? No, No I don’t!” Trump screamed defensively. Although, Elon couldn’t help but to notice trump was using the same pen that Joe used, too.
“YOU. You still miss that bastard.” Elon spat. “You still miss the banter. You miss the arguments, the forbidden nature of it all. Don’t you trumpyboo?”
Donald trump failed to give a response. “I…” he averted his eyes, giving a clear answer without saying any words. If Elon was actually autistic, he’d probably go nonverbal.
“Everyone knows we’re in love, but nobody could have anticipated that with JOE! Your rival. Ahaha…oh trump. You’re nothing but a whore.”
“Get out of my house.”
Elon quickly grabbed his bags. “Gladly.”
politician lovers. three cheers for golf.
