A werewolf stimboard with a forest at nighttime theme for anon. Specifically requested to be eerie and unsettling. I'm really proud of this one, hope you enjoy!
Summary: Hanahaki Disease. Taking innocent, unrequited love and crushing the life of the unfortunate. This is not a happy story. Don't expect a good ending.
POV: 2nd
Pronouns: Gender neutral
Admin/Writer: Kai⚔️
Tags: Epel Felmier, hanahaki disease, star tear disease, heavy angst
Word count: 2,958
Being 100% truthful... I cried writing this, and I got super depressed after lol. I've never done Hanahaki disease as a trope but I've read about it. I've only heard about Star Tear disease and it's very rare to use, but it's a sister trope to Hanahaki.
The person afflicted with Star Tear will cry stars, and slowly become blind, but it isn't like Hanahaki where the affected goes back to normal. No. The person keeps the damage.
I hope you all enjoy this Epel angst and trust me, this is still pretty light, even with a character death. This one didn't take me too long but it took a lot of planning and adding, truly one of my proudest works.
Petals of red carnations and aster spilled onto Epel’s hand on such a bright morning, the sun shining through his windows and lighting up his room beautifully. His face looked shocked and panicked, but he wasn’t in an urge to figure out what was wrong. He dropped the petals out of his hand and saw a small splatter of blood in his palm, but once again, no immediate reaction. He only sighed and got ready for his morning.
It was never like this, but not uncommon to one’s knowledge, either. In this world, magic and myth were big things, and the Isle of Sages was no stranger. Recently, the town had been talking about cases of victims who had recently passed away due to unnatural causes. Unnatural, being that their lungs were filled with roots and flowers, marking their deaths as undetermined in autopsy reports.
Rumors had been circulating that these victims were in love with others, but never received the love back, then were found dead just days later with the same scenes as the others. The Isle began to find death as common as finding a penny on the ground, but still as tragic as ever for these young lives. Epel could be the next.
He did have someone he loved, but being in the same year as you meant nothing. You barely looked at him, only hung out together when he was invited, and you were completely out of his league. Not even close.
This had started months ago. Epel had met you at the mirror chamber on orientation day, and he became pretty curious. You weren’t from this world, yet you looked like you fit right in, too. You were quiet and confused, which he found interesting, but he would only see you from afar for now.
He was finally able to get close to you, but his attention was easily taken when Deuce started calling him a girl. At that moment, he heard your laugh. It was a beautiful sound that he had no idea would bless his ears the way it did.
One day, you came into the Pomefiore dorm, catching them teaching him about proper tea etiquette and rules. When Rook corrected him, he quickly grew embarrassed and stuttered slightly before fixing himself, hoping that you hadn’t seen him mess up. He didn’t need you to not find him able. He wanted you to like him.
Coming back from winter break, Epel hadn’t stopped thinking about you for any moment of the day. He began to doubt if you liked him, especially after seeing him mess up during classes and after-school clubs. As soon as he arrived back, he was met with more flight training and prim etiquette.
He was running through campus while trying to run away from his housewarden and vice-housewarden, not exactly caring where he was running. Suddenly, Epel felt a hard chest and fell over with a loud wham to the ground. He could only sniffle and rub his head from the pain. When Epel looked up, he saw your eyes on him in concern, and he felt himself become frozen, frustrated with himself about the situation before him.
Deuce offered to help him, but Epel looked away and mumbled “dagnabit” under his breath. The other first-year grew confused and repeated what Epel had said, but Felmier felt embarrassed for looking so pathetic in front of you. Before Deuce knew it, Epel ran off and disappeared just as quickly as he appeared. You were left with confusion and questions but didn’t pay much attention to it once he was gone.
Once he was gone and in a place where one could see him, he felt a slight clog in his throat and coughed, surprised to see a few petals of aster and white carnations fall onto the ground at his feet. “Flowers? What in the…” He whispered with a confused tone, and he didn’t know where this had even come from.
Soon, he was singing to practice for the Song and Dance Championship behind some bushes, but he coughed and sighed when he couldn’t reach enough, causing some small petals to spill onto the grass. When he heard the voices of others, he perked up and turned around, his eyes landing on you.
Did you hear that? Oh, for the love of the Seven, please tell me you didn’t hear that.
You only stared at him as he interacted with your friends, but the thought of you finding him in such a pathetic scene lingered in his mind. He didn’t need you to look at him and laugh, especially not after everyone else found him cute and small. After witnessing how his housewarden kicked the asses of the other first years, Epel took a glance at you before being dragged away into more practice.
As soon as he entered the door to Pomefiore, he covered his mouth and coughed up more petals, the sound grabbing the attention of Vil and a few others who were in the lounge. Aster and… Red carnations. This one was new, but his heart did ache. It ached with a pain that poked in his chest, yet the bright red mixed with the purple and pink petals of aster felt comforting.
He felt something for you. He knew you probably wouldn’t like someone as pathetic and hard-driven as he was, not with this small body and cute face. He couldn’t get his hopes up.
Epel had caught himself coughing these petals now and then, but on rare occasions, a few of them had blood spots, nothing too concerning. At the same time, more and more cases of citizens being found dead, surrounded by flowers and roots, were becoming big online. Everyone made this phenomenon have a name, Hanahaki Disease, and it was spreading like wildfire.
No one could figure out its symptoms. Other’s tried, but would get shut down about their theories. One person, at least every week, was in the headlines about this. Police thought it was a serial killer laying down his victims in a beautiful way, and citizens thought it was karma towards the person who died.
Epel’s symptoms only got worse the more you were around him and looked at him. You spoke to him in such a kind way, treating him as your friend. He noticed that your uniform and face had different sizes and colors of stars. He found it cute and it suited you, at least in his eyes.
Right. Only a friend.
He kept his feelings hidden, and it was only right. Epel knew the situation, and he was okay with it. You didn’t belong in this world in the first place, nothing wrong there. He had a life and family waiting for him in his hometown. He had to get over this.
But the world gave him no time.
Crowley had summoned everyone to the mirror chamber to bid you farewell. You were leaving. No warning. No time. Something felt wrong, and Epel ran to be able to hug you first. Everyone surrounded you two after that.
Epel heard a twinkling sound, so he looked at you and noticed how small stars were on your cheeks. He was confused, what was even happening? He noticed these stars before, but they came from your eyes this time? He couldn’t ask, not before Crowley had to break it up before the portal closed.
As you looked at everyone one more time, “Come back here soon!” Epel screamed, making everyone slowly begin to agree with him. Then, you left. That was it. Your presence was there, but not your body or soul.
It was a moment of sorrows and grief, which only equaled to Epel coughing up blood-spattered petals of marigolds and purple hyacinth flowers into a napkin. He could tell that this was getting worse, but what in the world could he even do?
Epel spent that night trying to distract himself by researching everything he could about this Hanahaki Disease, coughing up occasional petals. He had found a few stories of victims who survived the disease, reading about how the symptoms stopped after they got together with the person that they loved.
Reading more about how it got worse if one believed that the other didn’t like them back, but after a certain point, even thinking about the person they loved made the symptoms dire. There was no natural cure, at least not from what was written, but Epel did find something.
Surgery.
Getting surgery to make it go away.
No.
That’s all Epel needed to read. He wanted nothing else about that subject to come up. It was absurd, even for the most desperate of people. Brain surgery to make the symptoms go away, but you’d forget about all the feelings you felt for the person. He could never, not when it was about you.
Suddenly, he became curious. The scene from earlier crossed his mind.
Why does someone cry stars?
He searched it up, but… Nothing. Unknown. Sites to just people boasting about how their tears have the sparkle of stars, but it wasn’t the same. You had the shape of stars coming out of your eyes, and they were beautiful.
Epel sighed and shut his phone off. He didn’t need to see anything else for the rest of the night.
For a few weeks, the campus was in an awkward atmosphere due to your leaving, but soon enough, everyone began going back to normal. Not Epel, though. He missed you the most when he sat on his bed after school. He constantly thought about how you could be doing and wondered if you were ever thinking of him.
He began to smile while thinking about you, remembering every moment he did get to save with you. His birthday, campus traditions, especially being there to watch him perform for the Song and Dance Championship. Thinking about everything made him suddenly gag and the next thing he knew, a pool of blood and different petals were at his feet.
His eyes were wide, but he vomited more blood, less petals. The puddle was red but cluttered with red and white carnations, mixes of purple and pink aster, yellow daffodils, and violet-blue salvia. This was the worst that his condition had gotten. Epel fell back and clutched his chest, trying to breathe silently but with enough force to get himself back on track. It was a silent night after that.
Time would come to take their youth, and before any of the first years knew it, it was graduation day. The day was bright and looking pretty on a day like that, and it kind of made the day better.
The ceremony had gone well, with old students coming back to congratulate and celebrate with the other students, and professors even admitting that they’d miss some students.
After all celebrations were over though, Epel stayed on the campus grounds, standing at the well that caused him the most time with you. He simply stared down the well, letting the sunset almost blind his vision. One memory of you caused a loud cough and blood to spill from his mouth, petals following after.
It hurt. The pain grew worse than ever before. He’d rather suffer than forget the love he felt for you. His body was falling, faltering to keep itself up, and he landed on his back against the ground.
“The love I feel for you… Is so beautiful, but—” He whispered, petals of sweet peas falling from the sides of his mouth now as his coughs got shorter and harsher. “I can’t breathe.”
Epel could only clutch his chest as he tried to find the proper breathing pattern. He looked up at the sky and wiped the excess blood from his mouth. He smiled. Like he always did when he thought of you.
Epel could cry. He could feel it. You were so close. Just a little farther.
The sounds of struggling became quieter, and a bed of flowers grew. Cyclamens, sweet peas, heliotropes, white carnations, crimson roses, forget-me-nots, and black roses all grew from the ground. Its roots and vines surrounded the body of a recently graduated boy, who simply loved someone that he knew he couldn't have.
Epel looked like a charming prince with how peaceful he looked.
The world was cruel. Too cruel even.
Those young adults, now grown up, were gathered in a reserved restaurant. They all stood up when they heard the door, Silver bringing you in.
You carried a white cane and carefully moved it around, your eyes staring forward with occasional blinks. Everyone knew the situation, but there was still a tension that you could feel by just sensing it.
Your irises were close to white but had a faint hue of your original eye color. You were blind. You had explained to everyone before that you had “Star Tear Disease”, which explained why you cried stars when you left the world of Twisted Wonderland that day.
It was rare. Only a few had it, and you were the unlucky one that did. You could feel everyone's eyes on you, but you smiled nonetheless. It had been years since you had last been with the boys, and you were quite excited to meet them again.
“I'm fine, guys. It's just a little impairment, but I'm still me.”
The room stayed quiet, and slowly, one by one, they all came up to let you touch their faces and reintroduce themselves. Ace tried making you laugh by contorting his face, but you hit his shoulder. “Hey! Quit that. I'll pull your ear if you keep doing it.”
Goofball as always.
Once everyone had a turn, you felt weird. Someone was missing, and you slowly made your way around the table. An empty chair.
“Who's missing?” You asked, clutching the arm of the chair.
Silence once again. No one wanted to tell you, so you remembered everyone to figure it out.
Your body froze as you realized it, but you could feel your heart drop. “Epel.”
Tension grew in the room again and you could hear a sigh, then followed by Leona. “He's dead.”
Whispers with the others calling out Leona for saying it, but he simply grew irritated with their lack of sense. “Oi, what the hell are we supposed to do, eh? Keep it from them? They're blind for Seven's sake!”
“You didn't have to say it so bluntly—” Followed Lilia, not wanting everything to become a problem.
“All of you, shut up!” You yelled, the starry tears forming in your eyes as you clutched the chair harder, digging your nails into the wood.
Everyone went mute. You couldn't even believe it.
“How...” You whispered, the sound of twinkling from your tears filling the eerily quiet room. “How did he die and when?”
Deuce stood from his chair this time. “On our graduation day. He died of some… illness called Hanahaki Disease.”
Your world was crumbling. Hanahaki Disease. You heard of it in your world. It was made of fiction, but who knew it'd be turned into reality. The same could be said for Star Tear Disease, but you developed it here, and it followed you into your world.
You let out a few tears as you kept thinking, your arms practically wrapped around the chair. “Who was the cause? One of you knows.”
Vil spoke as he moved closer, trying to be careful with you. “That part isn’t necessary for you to know—”
“It was you. Vil told us all after he died.” The gruff voice from Malleus filled the room with those three words, and they somehow sounded painstakingly beautiful. Vil’s breathing pattern changed once the truth was revealed. You knew those words were true.
“... Take me to his grave.” You asked after a short moment of silence, sounding like you were pleading, so they took you.
Standing in front of it now, you gently touched the tomb, then the texture of the cement, until your hands touched the lettering.
“E P E L F E L M I E R”
It had his dates, a small obituary, and designs of apple trees. It all felt cool to the touch. You could only imagine it, but then you remembered that you brought something.
A flower bouquet. Baby's breaths, blue salvia, lavender roses, and cyclamens were composed neatly, you could feel it. Anything for him, especially since he meant so much.
“Hey Epel…” You whispered, kneeling down in front of the tomb. You took a breath and it was already hard, the disease making your eyes sting. “You know, you're the only one I didn't get to touch today.”
“I'm sure you look the same. You never changed.” You said with a smile, gently feeling the cold cement under your fingers. You heard his laugh in your ears, imagined his smile, and you felt a warmth on your hand. His warmth. You knew it.
At that moment, you began to cough really hard, blood spilling onto your hand and petals came out of your mouth. You were unfazed. You knew what this was.
You set down the bouquet and moved to sit on top of his grave, leaning back against the tombstone as you felt a sharp pain around your ankles.
“Why didn't you tell me? I loved you too. That's unfair…” You whispered softly, feeling your eyes close as your breath struggled slightly.
“We could've survived together.” You said with a faint voice, your body becoming lifeless as your hands and ankles were tied down with vines.
Red roses, carnations, and aster grew on the vines. The twinkling of your tears filled the soundless cemetery, stopping with a drop of a star on your clothes.
Want to start off with a TW, I'll be covering topics of drug abuse, addiction, and death.
I watched Beautiful Boy just a month or two ago for the first time. I saw this movie again just a couple of days ago. I debated on whether or not I wanted to write a post on this movie. I felt as though I couldn't really capture what it is. Instead, I've decided to talk about my experience with addiction and how it's affected me. And I will be relaying that to the movie.
For starters, went into this movie wanting to learn more about how my father felt as he was the addict. My father passed on my birthday from an OD. Watching this movie, I thought, "wow, I wish he didn't feel so alone". At the time of my father being present I couldn't comprehend why he couldn't just stop. I'd never fault my father; he was the best of the best. I know what was happening to him was something he just couldn't control. I had endless love for him, and the real beauty about this movie is that it really showed me what I couldn't see.
I messaged my stepmom who is a recovering addict, she's been sober for 6 1/2; 7 years. I wanted to know how she felt about the movie. I learned that it's hard wanted to stop but not mentally being able to. I also learned that the film, to her at least, was pretty relatable. Like I said before, I can't put into words how much I appreciated this movie. I can't convince you it's good either. I got another opinion from my grandmother. She said it was way too long and it dragged out. Thats when I realized something, this movie cannot touch you if you aren't sensitive to this topic. My heart breaks for those who have gone through loss, addictions, drug abuse. This movie was a huge lesson for me, and I don't regret watching this.
I'm sorry for such a deep post, I hope this reached someone who needed it. I am not sure if I will keep this up, but know you are loved.
She is now colored! I cut off her shoulders a bit because I do not trust Tumblr.
Here she is , and time for some FunFacts! Tw // mentions of death , amputation and vehicle accident
Vigh used to be a professional racer like her mother. He father whos name is Killo Watts Holtage (sensing a theme?), was just the supportive husband/Dad.
Unforntally her mother passed away but it made Vigh want to push to be better as a racer. While trying qualify for a big race. Vigh's vehicle lost control, flipped. Her leg was extremely injured to the point it had to be amputated.
She suffered some years of depression, withdrawal, traumatic responses while driving for a long while. Her Father was scared for her to even ever drive again and became a bit over protective and a helicopter parent.
Some years went by she decided to go back into her orginal planned career of being a robotics engineer. Working to also study to make prosthetics for other amputees! She also is back to driving a vehicle around this time.
She owns a Shelby Cobra for anyone curious.
Vigh is a very outgoing woman, she's clever, sassy and playful ! She's also very competitive and a bit of a car enthusiast. (An understatement)
She always trys to be strong for herself and others even when she may need to take it easy and take care of herself. She's a very loving and understanding person. Deep down she just wants ppl to be happy.
Also her best friend is a Mechanic, who totally doenst hype her up ~ his name is Manny btws (he is with Breakdown , yes Breakdown is getting someone to love too lol).
But one day she decided just to go watch a race. Just watch. A street race, kinda illegal but! Fun to watch. Her fascination with a Red sports car rolling in. One she'd never seen! And we can all gusse who that is-
I love when people read the tags of a story and then proceed to go off about said things they were warned about in the tags. Like the math ain't mathing at this point if it's right there.
I was wondering if there were discussions/norms/etiquette in the plural community surrounding system origins of various beliefs. I've noticed when learning that some system/alter origins relate to religious/spiritual/metaphysical beliefs. Some of those are not in line with my own beliefs. So I was just wondering how people tend to come together in light of such things. Especially since this is an area that has potential to turn hurtful. I don't think it has to be hurtful. I think love and respect between people is possible even while maintaining different beliefs. But this is just the kind of stuff I think about whenever I see that some people are cruel in dismissing certain types of origins.
Hi! This is a really good question - thank you for asking! We’re not a religious system, and we haven’t had much confusion or struggles when it comes to respecting the beliefs of other systems, but we see how it could be potentially troubling for some!
To us, we feel similarly about systems with different spiritual beliefs as we do about singlets with different spiritual beliefs. And that is: we may not understand your (general you) spirituality, we may not believe in the higher powers that you believe in, but that doesn’t mean we are incapable of showing you and your spirituality the respect and acceptance you deserve. You don’t have to be spiritual or religious in order to respect others with different religious faiths or backgrounds. If someone says they experience plurality or spirituality in some way, it’s not our job to argue with or critique them!
People get to choose how they label and define their own experiences. So, if a Christian system says their headmates are angels or saints or something along those lines, we will believe them and treat them as such, even if we ourselves are not Christian and don’t even have faith in Christian beliefs.
For us, plural solidarity means showing kindness and respect to all sorts of systems, even those with beliefs that conflict with our own. And as a system, we even have some conflicting beliefs amongst our alters! It really is possible to uplift, support, and respect systems with many different beliefs without compromising your own faith or values.
When it comes to norms/etiquete, we do believe our ideas may generally fall in line with the majority of the inclusive plural community. Although we are just one system and we don’t speak for the whole community, so we can’t say for sure!
And as far as discussions go, system discourse can be found in the “#syscourse” tag. Honestly it can be rare to see genuine, thoughtful, productive discussions happening in that tag, but that is the right place for those conversations.
We’d like to invite any systems who have thoughts on this to please share! We are a community full of diverse individuals with a wide range of beliefs. How do you show respect and solidarity to systems with beliefs that differ from your own? If you respond, please remember that this space will always be welcoming to systems of all origins, so respect and thoughtfulness is appreciated!
Anon, we hope this helps answer your question, at least a little bit. Plurality, like spirituality, is not a monolith! And it is possible to be polite, welcoming, and accepting to all sorts of systems, even if their beliefs don’t align with your own. We hope this response is at least somewhat coherent and beneficial for you! Thanks for reaching out!
