‘D --> I command you to have free will and do as you please’ Hoof is Equius Zahhak?
Equius is first mentioned when Nepeta tells her other friends she’ll have to ‘get purrmission’ to play Sgrub (p.2055), and first seen when Tavros’ robolegs are installed, described as ‘mak[ing] everyone uncomfortable whenever he would just stand there. And watch.’ (p.2120). Before he’s formally introduced, he’s set up to be disliked, and a fakeout introduction where the player decides that ‘decide that we could probably stand to delay this guy's introduction a little longer’ (p.2179) outright tells us that we’re supposed to be unsettled by this guy. But I don’t like being told how to feel about someone, so I went into Equius’ actual introduction wanting to give him a fair chance.
I firmly believe that Equius himself and the general perception of Equius are two very different things, and while I’m critical of his devotion to Alternian social systems and perceived superiority over others, I find that many other characters react to him based on surface-level distaste, something that becomes a vicious circle as Equius retreats further into what he knows. In this post I’m interested in looking at Equius’ full character arc in relation to his Sgrub title, Heir of Void, as well as discussing a few lesser-mentioned interests of his.
This post is structured around Equius’ introduction on page 2211) and includes information from all of Hivebent and A5A2, through Equius’ death on page 3448. It’s about 6.4k words below the cut. Content warning for discussion of teen sexuality and sex addiction in section 3 (not graphic; exclusively an academic discussion).
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1. You love being STRONG.
I think this is a lie.
Equius’ attempt to troll Dave is perhaps the most illuminating scene for his feelings about his own strength. While he views being STRONG as universally valuable and noble, here he acknowledges its tradeoffs, lamenting that he’s limited in the weaponry he may wield, that he lacks finesse, that he needs to use constant restraint, and that he struggles to undertake many activities without causing damage (p.2827). Made explicit on this page, this idea has already run throughout Equius’ storyline, and continues to do so until his death.
It’s extremely rare for Equius’ strength to be helpful – he often inadvertently hurts Aurthour, the lusus he deeply appreciates and actively tries to be gentle with, and it’s Equius’ strength that inadvertently leads to Aurthour’s death when he punches a robot through a wall hard enough to cause an avalanche. In Aradia’s description of the trolls’ fight with the Black King, Equius’ attacks aren’t significant enough to warrant special mention, suggesting they weren’t crucial for success. Later when Gamzee and Eridan pose a danger, Karkat views Equius as possible ‘STRONG backup’ (p.3430), but Equius isn’t willing to use his strength against either of them even to protect himself and his friends, so this ability he prizes ultimately means nothing.
The only instance where Equius’ strength is useful is when he’s able to power through the early game of Sgrub to find his second gate and quickly deliver Aradia’s robot. Sgrub is intended to be challenging for players, but it seems impossible to design a game that poses a challenge for Equius and is still possible for other players to succeed in, because of the discrepancy between trolls’ physical abilities. If Skaia tailors its game towards adolescents, it might make sense to view Equius as physically an adult while psychologically a six-sweep-old, having gone through the troll equivalent of precocious puberty. As a result of this, he’s gained some physical capabilities (extreme strength) and lost others (flexibility, finesse, restraint). This also explains his inadvertent damage to Aurthour, since lusi don’t typically coexist with adult trolls.
While it doesn’t always make sense to view trolls through the lens of human psychology and sociology, I think how Equius’ friends react to his body reflects how human adolescents might under similar circumstances. Researchers have suggested that human boys who undergo early puberty might seek to ‘bridge the gap’ between their biological and psychological development through behavior, and Klopack et al’s 2019 study found that social context interacts with early development to determine whether this results in prosocial or antisocial outcomes. Equius’ experiences are further mediated by his excessive sweating, which would be diagnosed as hyperhidrosis if he was a real human. This condition is partially caused by stress and often seriously impacts quality of life – notably, sports players who suffer from this mention balls slipping from their hand when passing or shooting, slipping on a mat during gymnastics, or even having to quit tennis entirely as their racket keeps falling from their hand, which links to Equius’ experience with archery (even if he could hold the bow without breaking it, it would likely slip from his hand). Patients sharing their perceptions on sweating ‘used adjectives such as ‘disgusting,’ ‘nasty,’ and ‘repulsive,’ and they made associations with a person who was ‘insecure,’ ‘unhygienic,’ and ‘nervous.’’ (Trettin et al, 2022), which is exactly how Equius’ friends (and many readers) react to his sweating. They’re extremely aware of Equius’ physical differences and willing to mock him for it, with Nepeta saying ‘eww / you’re so gross’ in response to Equius’ sweat and telling him that ‘everyone knows [hes] a weirdo and a cr33p’ (p.2162). And by presenting Equius as an unpleasant person with regressive views in addition to being physically offputting, the narrative reinforces readers’ negative reactions to this physical trait instead of giving them cause to question these snap judgments.
But for Equius himself, instead of internalizing this stigma, he responds to these external negative perceptions by doubling down on his love of his own strength, even framing it as a choice. He chooses to believe that ‘[l]usus milk is the secret to being STRONG’ (p.2216) and has Aurthour prepare it for him daily, actively pursuing strength and asserting it by typing the word in all caps in chatlogs, dialog and even thought. He likely sees his sweating as a side effect of being so STRONG. If he accepted a lack of control over his body, Equius might fall into self-hatred, wanting to change himself but being unable to do so. But by convincing himself that strength is a noble pursuit, he’s able to retain a positive self-concept despite its negative impacts on his life, and even when his friends and the narrator see him as ‘kind of a freak’ (p.2216).
Socially, Equius is drawn towards others who also embody physical strength – Aradia punching him is likely the first time he’s experienced force greater than his own or physical subjugation directed towards him (p.2291). Nepeta is similarly able to tacklepounce Equius and render him flat on his back and harmless while she teases him about romance (p.2540). He also equates physical strength with emotional strength, telling Nepeta that he is ‘e%ceptionally STRONG and will cope with [Aradia’s departure] admirably’ (p.3438). He links his emotional strength and reduced need to discuss feelings to being a man, suggesting an adherence to traditional gender roles, in addition to his caste role discussed in sections 2 and 3. However, in the same page he acknowledges willingness to ‘accommeowdate said cuddly stuff, outrageous STRONGNESS purrmitting’, showing that he sees limitations in emotional strength just like the ones he expresses to Dave about physical strength.
Equius also links physical strength to anger, and interestingly is the thing that both causes and calms his rage. Accidentally breaking a glass of lusus milk sends him into a rage (p.2217), and the feel of an archery bow ‘giving way under the astonishing might of [his] mangrit’ allows his rage to partially subside. Breaking things often causes a problem for Equius, but he also seems to understand its necessity in ‘help[ing] [him] rela%’ (p.2279), and takes steps to ensure he has plenty of things he can safely break (particularly the robots he builds). He tries to avoid causing significant damage to his hive or other people, and despite a major failure here early in his arc, he’s mostly succeeded at this for his previous six sweeps of life. Overall, I would say that Equius does in fact love being STRONG when he is able to direct that strength intentionally towards a goal – whether that’s beating up a robot, progressing through Sgrub, or maintaining a positive identity of STRONG nobility and personal achievement above that of others. He does not love being STRONG when he’s unable to control his strength, when he causes damage accidentally, and when it hinders his relationship with others such as Aurthour. He leans into the love of strength to counter others’ perceptions, but his more complex feelings show through on occasion.
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2. […] you would prefer to join the ranks of the ARCHERADICATORS, perhaps the most noble echelon the imperial forces have to offer.
Equius knows that there is a career goal, being a Ruffiannihilator, which would directly play to his strengths. He could walk into this job and excel without effort. However, he instead chooses to pursue something that he’s failed at every time he’s tried to engage in it. Equius is under no illusions about his own skills here, fully aware of his struggles with shooting a bow, and his goal to join the Archeradicators instead represents Equius’ intense devotion to the troll social order.
Equius’ blood is dark blue, close to but not quite the highest caste among Alternian land dwellers. He views the hemospectrum as an entirely legitimate way to order society, partly due to his privileged position within it, and partly due to a general tendency towards order. Believing in the hemospectrum means Equius rarely has cause to question society, means answers about his own role and future aspirations are laid out for him, and means that he can easily conceptualize his relationships with others by viewing them as various degrees of superior, inferior or equal relative to him. Equius attempts to focus on what he sees as firm facts, dismissing ideas like ethics, philosophy and troll sociology. He fulfills expectations associated with bluebloods, such as the power grabs and subterfuge ‘typical of their caste’ in the early stages of Sburb (p.2185), because he views troll bloodlines as ‘deciding behoovioral factors’ (p.3438).
I think that Equius’ STRONG, often emotional and chaotic physical reactions might spark this tendency towards certainty and structure. Notably, the two career options he contemplates are the one that best fits his body’s abilities (a Ruffiannihilator) and the one that follows blood caste traditions (the even more noble Archeradicators) – careers that Equius might personally enjoy or find interesting aren’t even considered. Equius might excel at and find passion in a career in robotics, but he has a tendency to suppress himself as an individual in favor of being a person filling a role he sees as positive. His two career paths also reflect the difference between his physical and psychological age, as he refers to his strength as ‘mangrit’ (p.2218) but keeps a bowkind specibus because ‘a boy can dream’ (p.2219).
Equius tells Nepeta that she ‘can't fight the role the mother had in store for [her]’ (p.2162), in a conversation where he also gives her strict instructions that he expects her to follow. Despite their moirallegiance, troll society dictates that Equius’ higher position on the hemospectrum gives him legitimate grounds to issue these orders. He openly considers the feelings of those lower on the hemospectrum to be irrelevant and their lives to be meaningless (p.2226), and tells Nepeta that her green blood is ‘ok, but it's not great’ (p.2162). Nepeta is ‘good enough’ that Equius feels like he can associate with her, but low enough for him to exert control. He may not have been open to a moirallegiance with someone of, say, Tavros’ blood color, evidenced by his describing lowbloods as an inherently corrupting influence in this same conversation with Nepeta and getting worked up by just thinking about ‘degenerates with swill coursing through their veins’ (p.2220).
Given that most of Equius’ friends are people he knows online who live far from him, he can’t exert authority through physical strength, another reason he needs to rely on social class (and another reason why strength is not actually useful for him). He finds it ‘pleasant to consort’ with someone who accepts hierarchy and listens to these orders from afar (p.2278), and also extends his perceived rights of giving orders to humans, suggesting a view of trolls as the superior species (likely, in his mind, because he created them). Upon discovering the humans, his first order of business is to determine their class structure and hierarchy. He claims he ‘quite reasonably’ mistook the other kids for Dave’s ‘superiors in b100dline’ (p.2825), and it’s likely that he spoke to Rose first, then John, then Jade, moving down what he assumes is the hemospectrum as he directly translates his ideas of order and simple categorization without considering the possibility that another society may be organized differently.
When Equius learns that Gamzee has finally embraced his position atop the trolls’ hierarchy, he celebrates this despite its potential danger to his friends. He’s uncertain about his ability to ‘raise a hand to the highb100d’ due to his own belief in this system, and thinks that Gamzee ‘would benefit from a proper enculturation into the aristocracy’ (p.3431). I believe this is the moment that Equius decides he will die. When Equius himself gets angry, he destroys something, and it helps him to calm down. He’s now learned that Gamzee, the Bard of Rage, has embraced what Equius sees as an innate brutality and bloodlust. Equius likely thinks that Gamzee needs to commit a murder to let out some of this rage, and considers it noble to offer himself as a sacrifice, because of his subordinate position to Gamzee and because this course of action may protect his friends. Equius saying he will ‘take measures to ensure our comrades aren't injured’ (p.3431) suggests that he thinks committing one murder may calm Gamzee enough to prevent further murders, and his decision to spend extra time with Nepeta roleplaying and having a lengthy feelings jam is also evidence that Equius believes he will soon die.
The hemospectrum Equius adheres to partially parallels the Western zodiac system it’s based on. People who like astrology may be drawn to it as it helps them make sense of the world by placing people into categories which supposedly determine their personality and behavior, offering a similar safety, predictability, and explanation for a chaotic world. Unlike the hemospectrum, astrology is a non-hierarchical system of categorization, something Equius also has a relationship to via Sgrub titles and domains. Equius is assigned the role ‘Heir of Void’, a person who inherits and embodies nothing. The challenge that Sgrub issues Equius is to define himself outside of a simple system of categorization that would determine his actions, and it’s a challenge he ultimately fails, right through the moment of his death.
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3. Every time you try, you BREAK THE BOW. You are simply too strong. You have broken so many bows, it has developed into a habit BORDERING ON FETISHISTIC. You have to stop. But addiction is a powerful thing.
Equius’ intense desire to be a noble archeradicator with a bowkind strife specibus, and his constant bow-breaking failure, could metaphorically represent that his fierce devotion towards the hemospectrum often fails due to an illicit attraction towards subverting it. I believe that the source of this desire is Equius’ complex friendship/enemyship with Gamzee, who he talks to ‘every day for some reason’ (p.2220), making Gamzee both part of Equius’ need for routine and a significant influence on his life. In their first onscreen conversation, Equius is caught between a desire to fulfill his own role by being subservient to a highblood, saying he has ‘no right’ to tell Gamzee what he can and can’t do, and a simultaneous desire to help Gamzee fulfill his role of ordering Equius around as his blood color would conventionally dictate, telling him to ‘regard those around [him] as simple vehicles meant to bring about [his] gratification (p.2221). This is an impossible and paradoxical balance to strike from Equius’ position as an inferior, and prompts further questioning from Equius, who wonders why Aradia, the lowest on the hierarchy, has nothing but ‘grace’ and ‘admirable mannerisms’, something he finds both ‘strangely into%icating’ and a sign of madness.
The term ‘fetishistic’ isn’t only used to describe sexual attraction, but its sexual connotation is likely apparent to most readers. This combined with Equius’ fantasizing about him and Aradia being ‘illicit lovers’ (p.2226), the presence of nude musclebeast portraits on Equius’ wall, and Karkat regularly accusing Equius of ‘GETTING OFF’ on his orders (for example, p.2543) suggests that Equius has strong sexual feelings which often collide with his feelings towards the hemospectrum. Additionally, Equius’ fetishistic breaking of bows is described as an ‘addiction’, which might suggest commonly-held ideas about sex and porn addictions.
The concept of sex addiction is both highly contentious and very much in the public eye, with division over whether it exists, and if so, what defines it and how it should be handled. Sussman (2008) writes that ‘[n]ormal adolescent sexual behavior does not seem to have the huge shame that comes along with addict behavior’ and that diagnosing it is less about frequency ‘but more about what impact the sexual behaviors are having on the adolescent.’ I think this very much applies to Equius, who regularly seems upset by his sexual responses to the caste system, eventually acknowledging ‘it is possibly time to admit [he has] some sort of problem’ (p.2792).
Some people and studies assume that a strong libido combined with a lack of self-control causes sex addiction, especially in teenagers, for example Thien et al (2023) and Silitonga & Almigo (2023), though I personally don’t think either of these studies are well done since they did not examine variables besides self-control and level of sexual behavior. Giugliano’s (2006) interviews with men who considered themselves to have sexually addictive behavior were more open-ended, and did not support these claims. He found that childhood trauma was the most common cause of this behavior, and that seeking feelings of power, desire for human connection, compensating for low self esteem, and avoidance of negative feelings such as loneliness and sadness were also common themes.
There’s no suggestion that Equius has specific childhood trauma beyond the inherent trauma of growing up in a cruel society, but besides this, either Giugliano’s model or the libido/self-control could apply to Equius. For example, Equius’ struggles to respect others’ consent in sexual situations, such as beginning a sexually charged roleplay with Gamzee or changing Aradiabot’s blood color to make her a more appropriate partner, could be seen through the lens of Equius’ feelings being so strong that he is incapable of restraining himself. Alternatively, they could be seen as a misguided desire to further develop a positive self-image in contrast to how he is often treated by others and to connect with people the only way he knows how, through the perspective of the caste system.
Though I personally prefer the second interpretation, it remains that like with Equius’ excessive sweating, the narrative does not attempt to counter common perceptions of (so-called) sex addicts. In a related example, the idea that an ‘increasingly sexualized society’ causes precocious puberty is not supported by research (Cesario & Hughes, 2007), but it’s still a belief people hold – and it could easily be read into Equius’ character that his regular exposure to nude musclebeasts have caused many of his physical and psychological traits. Overall, it feels like a recurring theme that, intentionally or otherwise, he validates public perceptions of unpleasant and stigmatized physical traits that don’t have a solid justification. This constructs him, and by extension real people who share his traits, as an acceptable target for judgment and disgust.
Equius has sexual responses towards both following the hemospectrum and its subversion, but these are fundamentally two sides of the same coin, and neither is similar to deconstructing the hemospectrum entirely. The subversion of caste roles is attractive because it is scandalous and illicit, and Equius wanting Aradia or Karkat to order him around involves Equius’ continued awareness of them being as lowblooded as possible. It’s predicated on the structure existing to begin with, and it’s exclusively about satisfying Equius’ own desires as a highblood. This is the core difference between Equius’ relationships with Aradia and Gamzee in Hivebent – in Equius’ mind, he has given Aradia a modicum of power over him, but she is still someone who generally respects her intended social role, meaning that ‘in the end, class order will be restored’ (p.2224). Early Gamzee, in contrast, seeks to entirely equalize the social order by socializing primarily with lowbloods and saying he doesn’t ‘KnOw HoW tO bE lIkE a BeTtEr MoThErFuCkEr ThAn AnY oThEr MoThErFuCkEr’ (p.2221), and this complete dismissal of the caste system is what Equius has a problem with.
If Gamzee is the initial source of Equius’ confused feelings about the hemospectrum, it makes Equius’ death even more poignant and poetic. Through Gamzee, Equius was given cause to doubt whether the social order really was as all-powerful and defining as he believed, and through Equius, Gamzee began to internalize the ideas about highbloods being unavoidably brutal and bloodthirsty that he would later embody. When Gamzee snapped, called Equius a peasantblood and mocked him by snapping a bow in front of him, Equius’ beliefs were validated, and he no longer had cause for uncertainty. At the end of everything, he gets the safety and satisfaction of believing that his way of categorizing the world is correct, and he dies with a smile on his face because all his worries have been assuaged.
Equius’ title, Heir of Void, represents that he cares so deeply about the legacy and role he has inherited from Alternian society, but that ultimately this role is nothing and nonexistent. It’s a contextual inheritance instead of a biological one, and has no meaning outside of Alternia. Equius dies because he is unable to understand this, and he dies content so that he does not have to suffer the pain of change.
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4. You have a great appreciation for THE FINE ARTS. You use your aristocratic connections to acquire PRICELESS MASTERPIECES, painted in the oldest and most respected Alternian tradition of NUDE MUSCLEBEAST PORTRAITS.
Equius’ relationships to art and nature aren’t usually aspects of him that come into focus, but I see them as important background flavor to his character both within and beyond his relationships to strength and the hemospectrum. Equius has great respect for the ideals of nature, although less for its actuality. He’s upset that Nepeta ‘e%terminate[s] beautiful, innocent creatures by the hundreds’ (p.2162), finding this unsavory even though she only kills for food. Because of this, Equius may be vegetarian, as he’ll happily drink milk but doesn’t like the idea of animals dying. Or, he may only condemn eating mammals, and be happy to consume what he sees as ‘lesser’ creatures such as bugs, birds and fish.
To Equius, musclebeast portraits represent the purest physical idea of strength (p.2211), and he is delighted by the idea of musclebeasts that can ‘destroy entire planets with but a twitch of any anatomical feature’ (p.3438). As well as admiring these beasts from afar, Equius may wish to be mammalian himself, which has two potentially coexisting implications. First, following the common theory that each troll injected their dreams for an ideal world into Earth, Equius’ wish for an intelligent mammalian species could be the reason that humans are mammals. Second, this gives Equius something in common with Nepeta, who physically augments herself with claws, tail and eats and behaves as more cat than troll. Equius’ interest in being STRONG could be about achieving an animal ideal as much as a troll one, and his discomfort with his own strength could come from a disconnect between his desire to live up to his role in troll society and his desire to be a musclebeast (a disconnect Nepeta does not share, as she has near-entirely renounced social norms). This is a deeper layer to their moirallegiance, as Nepeta is likely the only person who understands Equius’ attraction towards being a different species, which could be a reason he felt drawn to her to begin with.
Equius is both an art lover and an art snob, likely a recognizable human trait to most readers. He supports art that he considers appropriate for highblooded trolls, including ‘the oldest and most respected Alternian tradition’ of musclebeast portraits (p.2211), and slam poetry, ‘oldest, most revered, and certainly freshest artform’ in Alternian history (p.2101). Like archery, Equius engages in slam poetry specifically because it is an aristocratic practice, but doesn’t consider himself very good at it and keeps his poems private (p.2825). Tradition and history is part of what legitimates a caste system, so it makes sense that Equius would also be drawn to historically grounded art forms. He may also have a specific interest in his ancestor, who he possibly believes shared these artistic interests.
Equius definitely looks for art he can ‘take seriously’, mentioning that he likes to play games, but only ‘e%tremely important games with very high stakes’ (p.2162). He’s willing to engage in what might commonly be considered ‘low art’, but only when he can somehow elevate those forms to his level. A small example is his telling Tavros that he ‘warned [him] about attempting to navigate stairs while adjusting to the new equipment’ (p.2754), a Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff quote in a more formal typing style. But a stronger example is his relationship to roleplay, which he initially describes as ‘f001ishness’ (p.2162), forbidding Nepeta from participating in FLARP or from roleplaying with the human kids. This dismissiveness contrasts with the effort he puts into his slam poetry with Dave, an art form he considers more worthy of his time.
Nepeta immediately disputes Equius’ dislike of roleplay, calling that the bow and arrow Equius begins his messages with ‘silly’ and ‘a playful fun thing’, while Equius sees them as ‘highly dignified symbols’ (p.2162). They’re both right: Equius engages in what Gamzee explicitly frames as a roleplay of dominance and submission, but wants to ‘keep it serious and professional’ (p.2221). His fantasies about lifting up Aradiabot to the caste he believes she was always meant for, followed by anthropomorphizing another robot as having a ‘smart mouth’ and judging his previous fantasy (p.2226-7), is a form of roleplay not unlike Terezi’s scalemate courtblock LARP. He also engages in sexual roleplay with Aradia, though his immersion is broken when she ribbits, which to him veers too far into silly territory (p.2280).
I think whether Equius enjoys roleplay is based in how much he believes it is rooted in reality. He struggles to suspend disbelief enough for Nepeta’s highly imaginative roleplay, just as he struggles to ignore the reality of being a troll enough to fully see himself as a musclebeast despite regularly incorporating horse puns into his language – but he wants to roleplay about the hemospectrum and its subversion, where he can roleplay as himself and explore a theme he sees as important.
Nepeta accuses Equius of making their shared roleplay too cerebral, suggesting that he can overthink things and is more interested in the analysis of art and the intelligence and carefulness behind wordplay, while she prefers a freeform approach of going with the flow and following where inspiration leads. She has a sense of humor about the process and tries to lose herself within it, while Equius is always a step removed from art he creates or engages with, unable to switch off his brain entirely. This is best exemplified by Nepeta believing that Equius isn’t having fun, and his responding that he was (p.3438). It’s clear that they struggle to bridge the divide between their roleplay styles, and while there’s nothing wrong with either approach in theory, it’s also clear that Equius presents his way of interacting with art as superior to hers instead of simply different.
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5. You build strong and sturdy robots, set them to kill mode, and BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF THEM in caged brawls.
Equius does not destroy every robot he builds, but he does so more often than not. Even before his introduction, it’s established that he will occasionally ‘allow philanthropy to override misanthrobopy’ (p.2218), a rare kind portrayal of Equius by the narrator, especially given that this kindness is towards a lowblood. However, this kindness is quickly canceled when Kanaya is portrayed as the good person in this situation for being willing to get her hands dirty to install Tavros’ robolegs despite chainsawing off her sleeping friend’s legs, while Equius is portrayed as the bad guy as his mere presence makes people uncomfortable.
As such, I wonder if Equius’ interest in robotics stemmed from actual people’s unwillingness to tolerate his presence. Linking to his struggle to engage in roleplay because of its imaginative component, building robots could be a compromise between Equius’ desire for an imaginary friend and his need to ground them in physical reality.
When he roleplays with his creations, Equius punishes one robot for insubordination (p.2227). This could come from Equius projecting the opinion he thinks the robot would have if it could think (he believes it would be judgmental of his attraction to a lowblood), or, he could have imbued these robots with actual limited sentience. If this is true, it’s notable that Equius doesn’t create robots to blindly follow, obey and agree with him perfectly, but gives them some semblance of free will, allowing them to disagree and destroying them when they do. This is very similar to how Equius views Aradia, giving her limited power to subvert the caste system only to the extent that he allows it.
The other instances where Equius builds robots for philanthropy instead of misanthrobopy are both commissioned by Vriska, someone who regularly asks Equius for parts and favors for her own projects (p.2206). He constructs a robotic arm for her and an entire robotic body for Aradia, doing all the work despite not understanding why Vriska is ‘intent on gratifying that worthless peasant’, which could suggest a pure enjoyment of the building process beyond a robot’s eventual purpose. He describes Aradiabot as ‘perfect in every way’ (p.2285), which may indicate a general standard of perfectionism that Equius holds, or may mean he has built Aradiabot to a particularly high standard because of the feelings he has developed for her – feelings that may even have been sparked by the construction process, as he’s been able to take direct control over her for the first time.
Equius maintains control over his robotic creations even after he has given them to others, and sees no issue with utilizing that control. He controls Vriska’s arm into slapping her just to reassert this capability (p.2223), and places a chip in Aradia’s heart to encourage romantic feelings towards him, hoping she either won’t notice or won’t mind and appearing genuinely surprised when she has a problem with this (p.2288). These are instances of Equius’ lack of respect for others’ consent, also shown by his ‘lobbying for a hooven quadrupedal lower torso’ for Tavros (p.2792), a physical form Equius thinks is dignified without considering whether Tavros would agree. He did include an equally unnecessary pelvic magnetron in Tavros’ legs, and presumably retains control over this.
Equius’ extreme intelligence is another rarely mentioned aspect of his character, but his robotic creations take a great deal of skill, especially those designed to house a soul or seamlessly integrate with an existing body. Equius’ ability to maintain control over his creations across distance and is knowing how to create a chip that spurs romantic feelings are technological feats in themselves, putting Equius on art with Sollux in terms of technical abilities. However, Equius doesn’t have the conscience about how his creations will impact the world that Sollux clearly does, which may be why the two of them aren’t friends. Just like with the caste system, Equius is interested in rules and structure, with an incredible understanding of how a robot works – but he’s not interested in exploring the ethics of this or developing personal perspectives beyond the ones taught to him.
Equius’ love of robotics is unique among his interests in that it’s never once considered an aristocratic or highblooded interest. Robots may have an important function on Alternia (imperial drones and carpenter droids may be robots, bugs or both) and it could be that this pastime is just as dignified as Equius’ other interests – but I’m compelled by the idea that he came to it independently. Equius’ ability to build robots is a reason for his neighbor, Vriska, to remain allies with him, and it’s something he can offer others that they could not achieve without his assistance. So, robots fulfill a social function, keeping him within a friend group that barely tolerates him, and allowing him to maintain a somewhat superior position by imposing conditions on their creation, delivery and form. Additionally, creating robots may offer the same outlet for Equius’ mind that destroying them does for his body, which is a neat synergy. Building and programming robots provides an intellectual workout in a society which does not appear to have formal education, making this a useful hobby for Equius specifically, whether or not it’s typical for his caste.
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6. Your trolltag is centaursTesticle and with your bow and arrow ever at the ready, you D --> Take e%ception to 100d language unbefitting of b100 b100ds
Equius’ trolltag, centaursTesticle, refers both to his love of musclebeasts and his desire to express his sexuality. His typing quirk includes a bow and arrow, representing the ideals of his caste that he aspires towards, as well as the use of ‘100’ in place of ‘loo’ and ‘%’ in place of ‘x’, showing his e%tremely high e%pectations for himself and desire for perfection. His distaste for vulgarity is referenced regularly, including his associating ‘e%cremental language’ with lowbloods (p.2162), telling Aradia to call things by their ‘proper names’ instead of the ‘vernacular of commoners’ such as bath tub instead of ablution trap (p.2280), and following up an ‘[o]h shoot’ with an immediate ‘[e]%cuse my vulgarity’ (p.3431).
Equius also takes statements very literally in conversation, replying to Nepeta’s promise to tacklepounce him with an assertion that she’s nowhere near him (p.2162), and claiming that ‘humorous insincerity is for pedantic wigglers’ (p.2222). However, like with roleplay, Equius isn’t averse to humor in general, only that which he sees as unbefitting for him – he describes Karkat’s memos as ‘[a] lengthy piece of comedy, often quoted amongst ourselves in private moments of levity’, suggesting that mocking somebody Equius considers below him is an appropriate avenue for humor.
Among other trolls, Equius is seen talking to Aradia, Nepeta, Vriska, Gamzee and Karkat, as well as replying to Karkat’s memos and trolling Dave. In Hivebent, his social circle is limited to fellow land-dwelling highbloods, his moirail, and his crush, although he expands this during and after Sgrub – Kanaya is his server player during the game, although this occurs entirely offscreen. Equius’ portrayal in chatlogs actually changes significantly between Hivebent and Act 5 Act 2. In early Hivebent, he’s portrayed as a threat to Nepeta and perhaps even an abuser, with Nepeta being ‘kind of scared of him’ (p.2055) and Terezi and Karkat both criticizing this relationship. The turning point occurs when the concept of moirallegiance is introduced to the narrative, featuring Equius and Nepeta as its textbook example. After this, Equius is softened significantly and his relationship with Nepeta treated far more kindly. It’s possible that a kinder and more nuanced perspective on this relationship was a driving force behind Hussie developing the quadrant.
Early in Hivebent, Equius appears to position himself above Nepeta, seeing her as a threat to herself and ‘lucky to have [him] to 100k out for [her]’ (p.2162). By his final scenes, Equius’ perspective has entirely flipped, saying he ‘udder[s] to think’ what he’d be without her and acknowledging that his violence is lessened by his successful moirallegiance (p.3438). In short, he began by seeing himself as the even-tempered troll pacifying Nepeta’s danger, and ended up believing the reverse. Though recognizing Nepeta’s good influence and general importance to his life should be a positive thing, in truth it isn’t – it’s just another sign of Equius’ belief that he cannot rise above the ways that blood caste predict behavior. Equius may be genuinely touched by Nepeta gifting him her hat, but it’s not enough to make him raise a hand to Gamzee, and her own dismissal of the caste system certainly isn’t enough to make him question it.
Nepeta’s shipping wall depicts Equius as moirails with Nepeta (with the caption ‘durrr!’) and as potential matesprits with Aradia. Nepeta is surprised when this becomes canon, which could mean that Equius confessed his crush to Nepeta but that she did not expect it to be reciprocated. The moirallegiance primer also states that moirails ‘balance and complement each other's emotional profiles, and thus allow their other relationships to be more successful’ (p.2401), so Nepeta may be facilitating this temporary matespritship through more than just her shipping wall.
Equius and Aradia are listed as the textbook example of quadrant volatility between red and black romance, which successfully captures his vacillation between wanting to see the hemospectrum adhered to or subverted, and the ways that his feelings for Aradia affect this confusion. The narrative suggests that in such cases, ‘one party's feelings will swap to match the other's, since there is no quadrant which naturally accommodates such a disparity’ (p.2398). It’s probable that Equius would expect Aradia’s feelings to change to accommodate his, which is perhaps what happens during their first kiss, when Aradia flips suddenly from hatred at the idea of the chip in her heart to accepting and reciprocating his advances. As time goes on, Aradia changes a great deal and becomes more self-assured and intentional in her actions. She may lose the deferential, well-mannered attitude of the passive dead that Equius was originally attracted to, and she may grow less willing to modify her own feelings for his – but that’s a conversation for another time.
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Final thoughts
Equius has several exaggerated traits, such as his musclebeast portraits, constant need for towels and devotion to a caste system which doesn’t exist on Earth, which on the surface make him appear very extreme and perhaps unrelatable. The more I consider him, the more everything about him feels so recognizably human. He’s drawn to rules and perceived objectivity, has a STRONG philosophy of physical and intellectual self-improvement, prefers canonical to modern art, and doesn’t question the systems he was raised in, all of which coalesce in a feeling of superiority over others. He sometimes struggles with his own rigid belief system, and attempts to suppress this with varying success. I’ve met plenty of people who fit this description, and for me at least, this takes the shock value out of Equius and makes him feel like a common Type of Guy.
Within Homestuck, I think Equius’ relevance to the story is more as a tool used to illuminate broader themes, in contrast to some other characters where their existence and interactions with each other is treated as important in itself. To me, Equius is a symbol of what happens to Sgrub players who aren’t able to move past the society they came from, who cling to the known past instead of imagining a new future. Despite his many flaws, there’s part of me who has a soft spot for Equius and would have liked to see him grow – but he dies for his adherence to Alternian norms that no longer matter, and in doing so, hopefully makes way for other characters willing to live differently.
