#trope breakdown

[heretherebedork]

Trope Discussion #12 : The "Kid!Fic" Storyline

(Basically when one or both of our leads have kids / very young siblings they are the primary guardians for, and the kids feature medium to heavy in the storyline.)

- Is this a trope you enjoy? What to you is the most appealing part of this trope?

-What kind of character pairing is most fun for this kind of storyline?

-How central do you enjoy the kids being to the story? Is there an age range you like for the kids?

-Do you like these stories to be more serious / dramatic or light / comedic?

-Do you enjoy the story maybe revolving around the child/sibling/parent dynamic to already be somewhat established by the time of the story start, or more of the "unexpected" child acquisition storyline?

- What do the writers need to bring to this kind of storyline to make it appealing?

- What do you think the actors need to bring in terms of acting for this trope to succeed?

-Is there a specific country you think does this trope best? Or whose execution you really enjoy?

- bonus 1: some favorite examples of this trope? (One I particularly enjoyed was Our Dining Table)

- bonus 2: any other thoughts you want to share 😁❤️

- DR anon

Oh, I love this one. As you are about to find out.

I love this trope. And for several reasons, frankly, but one of the biggest is just that I genuinely love children. I love children, I love families, I love relationships with multiple levels... but I love kids! I work with kids and I love seeing them portrayed and as part of someone's bigger picture and to see the way they bring people together and the love that comes from it... I love when we get families. And I want more. I want more!

I love this when they're both adults and one has set himself aside for the sake of raising his child/younger sibling/nibling/found street urchin.... whatever or however he acquired a child. And he's just been living for the kid and he loves them with his whole heart and then falls in love and has to slowly bring their lives together in order to keep everyone happy and he keeps on holding his child in high importance in his life no matter how old they might be... the Me and Thee versus "The Show I Will Not Name Because Disliking a Popular Show is Dangerous" sorry, uh, literally get worried If I get name it in the post. BUT ANYWAY the child has to remain important and cannot stop mattering and everyone needs to love them. Me and Thee did this so well. What a glorious show.

I love when the kids are a big part but the age does not matter to me. Our Dining Table did just as much with the little brother as Me and Thee did with his sister let alone the orphans they ended up adopting but like his sister was still just That Important to me. I would still love this in a story of older queers with adult children finding love. That'd be amazing. That is my dream. Children and grandchildren!

I always enjoy a more serious story. Again, comedy is not typically my jam. Me and Thee was just perfect in that regard, frankly, because they took serious what needed to be serious.

I would only want a new/unexpected child in an established relationship and it would have to be the central part of the story. (Note: Reloved almost gave this and then just... became one of the worst shows I watched this year instead. Sigh.) But if they're getting together then I want the child to be established and just part of life. I guess you could balance both? But I feel like that's a lot for these shows, honestly.

For me? They have to write the children well and appropriately for their age. Luckily, they're not fanfiction writers or making up stories for AITA so the children tend to make sense for their ages. They also need to stay important to the people in their lives. The show that invented my no tags here tag is the one that drove this point home for me. The children must always matter to the person who raised them/are raising them and cannot simply be dismissed or forgotten for The Dick.

Love. Lots of love. I feel like a lot of these actors have younger siblings or like younger cousins and they tend to be pretty comfortable with kids and it's so good to see.

I mean, Japan did make Our Dining Table which is amazing and glorious but I do think Thailand just keeps doing it so they have both the highs and the lows of it so it's hard to compare? Korea really hasn't done this nor Vietnam and China did give us omegaverse but their children only existed for like maybe twenty minutes so that barely counts. I feel like the only one out of Taiwan with this trope is one that looked a little too realistic to me and I did not watch at the time and now cannot binge.

Our Dining Table is amazing. Me and Thee is a good example of this but with the child already being an adult which is more common. Reloved is a bad example of this and I don't recommend it at all. Uh. MDL isn't working right now so... that's what my memory gives me.

I love kids in shows. My true dream? A disabled child in a show. I want a Deaf dad with a Deaf kid who falls in love with a guy he meets and then they have to navigate learning sign language, falling in love and then meeting the kid. I would love that show.

Thank you!

[batsbooktalk]

Beauty Queens is such a marvelous breakdown of the "I'm not like other girls" trope like damn

[heretherebedork]

Trope Discussion #9 : The "Rebel/Rascal" Character

(Whoops, I got this to you late, feel free to answer tomorrow)

What to you is the most appealing part of this character archetype? Is this a character type you like?

I typically think of these guys as the stretched versions of the pranksters, with either a cause they revel for, or just can' abide authority. Often end up being the character from the streets, but can also be the princely characters who fight against the tradition and claustrophobic environment they were raised against. How successful their rebellions are, or if they become more loud after meeting their partner, can be an interesting arc for this character. Similarly if these tendencies mature/fade a little after meeting the SO. As such, these characters pop up more in "political" / "historical" / stories discussing class differences. (One example I think of may be Chi Cheng from Revenged Love)

What kind of background do you like for this kind of character? (Socioeconomic wise / family situation wise / etc.)

What kind of character do you like paired with this character type?

Is there a specific setting you like to see this character in? (High school/college/work/etc). Alternatively, do you prefer a specific age range for this kind of character, is there one that is more appealing to you? Do you feel these characters are more common in the younger settings?

Are there any specific story beats you see frequently/ with this kind of character? Are there any specific storylines you like / don't like for this character?

What do the writers / director need to do for this archetype to succeed?

What do you think the actors need to bring in terms of acting for this archetype to succeed?

bonus 1: some favorite examples of this characters?

bonus 2: any other thoughts you want to share 😁❤️

- DR anon

Never worry, it's not like there's a timetable or an assignment for this, lol.

This is a 'depends on the show and the character' kind of trope for me. I often enjoy these characters but sometimes they grate on me. It's such a broad category that can go so many was. Rebels with a cause are often great characters but characters who get defined as a rascal can get my eye twitching. I don't mind a rebel like Arthit who's going against convention but then you just get a 'rascal' who's really just an obnoxious character to good for the rules like Force's guy from Perfect 10 Liners.

See, that's interesting because I hate pranksters. I hate them as characters. They tend to drive me batty. Pranksters are just frustrating until they learn better. BUT that's also my sense of humor. This is definitely a trope for more serious shows me. Give me rebels with causes and actual rebellions and not just a guy who doesn't think there's a reason for social rules and uses it as an excuse to be an asshole.

I dunno? I suppose they're often more interesting at either extreme. Either the prince who wants to talk about the domestic violence he's experiencing even though no one cares despite the protagonist being supposedly extremely empathetic or the poor worker whose sister was sick from the horrible mining fumes who got totally shafted in the last part of the series because the show was catering to above 'empathetic' prince.

Uhhhh, that's... a fascinating question in this situation because I think it's highly dependent. Rebels need people who match them but with slightly different energy. Sometimes it's about strength, sometimes it's about fragility, sometimes it's about empathy... a rebel needs a partner who sees what he sees and understands it but also has their own view and their own issues to support the rebel with or that puts them at an issue with the rebel's wishes. Either connection or conflict. OR both!

I dunno? This is a character the depends more on the character then anything. I think we see a lot of this in university characters but I prefer it in adults, frankly. Almost always. Because then it's much more removed from the rascal/prankster idea. As for setting? Eh. EHHH. It can work anywhere as long as it makes sense.

I feel like this is one that's interesting to think about for that because there are so many levels and different approaches to this character. There's always a moment when the rebellion asks them to go something that they never would normally do and they have to choose one side of morality or the other and that can be very well done or very, very, very badly done and it depends so much on the writing and the character. I am not a fan of them acting on the same issues we've seen the whole show only to suddenly have everything change for their partner and be rejected but that's just bad writing!

... Good writing. Cohesive writing. They need to make sure that what's happening actually makes sense with the characters and with the story and not have the supposedly empathetic prince who understood everyone suddenly not give a fuck about the person he literally saw being abused and who just gave a speech about the pains of domestic violence god FUCK The Next Prince and what it did to poor Ramil.

Good acting. This is a hard one because it is heavily reliant on the writers to make sense of the story.

lol I dunno. Ramil is precious to me but he's not actually that much of a rebel until the end. Love him, though. Arthit from The Sun From Another Star seems like this type with a bit of rascal and I like him!

lol not much from here.

[heretherebedork]

Trope Discussion #10 : Marriage Proposals / Wedding Ceremonies

(Another one I generally find to be very cute, and inspired by the gorgeous wedding scenes from Mr Romance Scammer. I don't know if calling it a 'trope' would be appropriate, but I am keeping it nonetheless.)

- Is this a trope you enjoy? What to you is the most appealing part of this trope?

- Do you like them to be more on the serious side, or more comedic? (Again using MRS which gave us both styles with how Tim v North proposed)

-Related to above, do you like the ones where the proposal is more spontaneous, or the ones with a lot of elaborate planning, where we see the character planning / fretting about how to ask?

- For this moment to land, what do you think the writers need to give the story?

- What do you think the actors need to bring in terms of acting for this trope to succeed?

-Is there a specific country you think does this trope best? Or whose execution you really enjoy? (This trope specifically is so interesting because it intersects with the real world political environment and whether queer marriage is legal or not in said country. But I always just enjoy seeing the huge spectrum of wedding ceremonies, even if they are less common than the proposals themselves)

- bonus 1: some favorite examples of this trope?

- bonus 2: any other thoughts you want to share 😁❤️

- DR anon

Ooo, a very relevant one!

I love marriage and engagement and when they propose and go down on one knee and when they promise to love each other... I love all of it very, very much. I adore it. It's great romance, it's very sweet, I love that they get to do it now and they get to celebrate and that everyone is just so happy to be able to get married. It's pure joy to witness, honestly, and I hope they stay this happy about it for many years.

I tend to like everything a touch more serious. That's just kind of my taste. I like a more serious proposal, though comedy ones have their place... but I definitely prefer it to be more on the serious side.

That depends on the relationship in question. I love a spontaneous proposal with a random object if it fits the romance itself but there are a lot of these boys who would just never do that and it's good to see them fret and plan. I'd still love to see one where they actually discussed it beforehand. Like, we got a conversation about proposals and then a proposal? I'd love that. But spontaneous "let me slip this onion ring on your finger' is also cute. Just depends on the show and the characters.

We need to believe that the two characters getting married can stay married. This is me and The Ex Morning and my absolute disagreement that they solved any of the actual issues in the relationship and that divorce is definitely in their future. BL marriages are meant to be happily ever afters. I have to both believe and want that for them. Or at least want them to be tied to each other forever and that's my beloved and toxic KlaoWarich who will never divorce out of sheer stubborn.

I mean, this one is hugely varied so actors can bring all kinds of things to this and still make it work. So I got nothing.

I mean, frankly, Thailand is just blowing everyone else out of the water. They legalized gay marriage and said 'fuck that, EVERYONE gets married' and they're right. I love it. No one else even comes CLOSE, frankly. I do love the conversations Japan has had around the issue, though. But that's a bit different.

I love so many. Khemjira is one of the best proposals ever because it's just SO fitting to the characters. I mentioned a couple above. I dunno, I like this trope a lot but it's also one I often forget.

Okay! I tried to bring in a few examples this time through the other questions. I'm gonna try to do that more going forward.

[heretherebedork]

Trope Discussion #9 : The "Caretaker" Character

(Ok let's get back to this)

What to you is the most appealing part of this character archetype? Is this a character type you like?

I am separating them from Sunshine characters, because these guys tend to be even more pragmatic and grounded. They are the ones who have been faced with the world, and realized they need to be the "helper". Whether that is taking care of their family, or just helping everyone, even, or especially to their own detriment. (One character that might not be the strongest example, but is the one I think of is Wei Qian from Unknown.) The ones who never put themselves first, who are never on their list of things to care for or pay attention to.

What kind of background do you like for this kind of character? (Socioeconomic wise / family situation wise / etc.)

What kind of character do you like paired with this character type?

Is there a specific setting you like to see this character in? (High school/college/work/etc). Alternatively, do you prefer a specific age range for this kind of character, is there one that is more appealing to you? Do you feel these characters are more common in the younger settings?

Are there any specific story beats you see frequently with this kind of character?

Are there any specific storylines you don't like for this character?

What do the writers / director need to do for this archetype to succeed?

What do you think the actors need to bring in terms of acting for this archetype to succeed?

bonus 1: some favorite examples of this characters?

bonus 2: any other thoughts you want to share 😁❤️

- DR anon

Welcome back!

I love caretakers because they love the people who most need to be loved and often are the least loved. These are the character who make sure the messy drunk gets home, check up on their quiet friend and generally insure that everything keeps going and stays safe. Which is so important but they also often allow for great comfort because they're doing this for a reason.

I would also call them their own trope because you can be a caretaker without being a sunshine! Sure, they can be both. But plenty of the caretaker-style characters are just are serious, pragmatic and angry as the non-caretakers. They just go about it differently. But a caretaker can be many other roles as well!

I tend to think caretakers are better when they've been struggling and are struggling. You can have a wealthy caretaker but they tend to lean more into other tropes in terms of what they actually do. But a good, solid caretaker? They're suffered. They've worked. They have their own pain and they want to help protect the people they care about from that pain. Poor boys, boys from broken homes, boys who grew up alone... they turn to caring for others to insure that they have a place.

Oh, I love a caretaker and a broken prince... obviously. But I also love a caretaker with a super carefree sunshine who needs to be protected and helped and loved and makes it easy but it's the caretaker who makes it hard because they take care of everyone and so the sunshine has no idea if it means anything or what. That's best with a more tsundere caretaker, one who takes care of everyone but without acting happy about it. I also love caretakers with just... god, any character the really needs it.

I actually think caretaker is one of the few tropes that can swing a bit older. I love this character in university but even more as just flat out adults. A caretaker who's also got a career? Often a doctor who is just drawn to people who need him and who sacrifices too much for his patients? The cafe owner who gives out free drinks and makes sure everyone is safe? The bar owner who is maybe a little too invested in everyone who comes in? A+.

I feel like the caretaker always has to have a breakdown at some point from just... being the caretaker and taking on too much and realizing that they need to lean on someone else as well. I think it's important to do that, frankly. I love a good breakdown and then the caretaker learning to take care of themselves as well through the power of LOVE.

I don't like it when they don't do the above. When the caretaker just... keeps on going and it doesn't matter. Does not happen often. I also don't like when it turns into a guilt trip because they made a mistake and they take the weight on themselves and no one corrects them.

Just take care of the caretakers. Show them as they are but also show that they need support and that no one can only help others and never take it upon themselves.

The actor needs to show up and act. Honestly, caretaker is a trope for many different styles of acting and characters so it can work well in many styles. I do think there has to be thought put into the breakdown, though, and then the aftermath.

Faifa from Perfect 10 Liners and Shao Peng from See Your Love (what a perfect show) are top billing for this and both are glorious but deeply different approaches to the same trope.

I adore the caretaker trope. It's another one of my favorites and one of the rare favorites that I enjoy because, to some extent, I can relate. Not that I am good at it but I sometimes try and I feel it more than I act on it because I am not in a drama.

[heretherebedork]

Trope Discussion #8 : Jealousy / Possessiveness

(This is one I particularly enjoy...when executed a specific way. Often the shows can go too far, and many times it is just because of the Yaoi origins of BL which played a lot more loosely with consent and healthy relationship dynamics. I am a sucker for the instances of broken characters being jealous out of fear because they finally found someone who is good to them, and is scared of losing them.)

- Is this a trope you enjoy? What to you is the most appealing part of this trope?

- Another trope which can really come down to the execution how it is received by the audience. And by the object of jealousy. For yourself, what is the "spectrum" you typically enjoy for this trope? When does/can it tip into something toxic (but not treated as such within the narrative aka, outside the toxic BL stuff). Extra clarification: This would include both how they express their jealousy (do they get snappier / clingier / closed off / etc?), and how they act on it (do they confront their SO / make more "claiming" gestures / keep it to themselves?)

-How do you like the reaction to the possessiveness and jealousy? Do you like the guys who enjoy seeing their SO being jealous? The ones who make them sit down and talk it out? The ones who use it as an excuse to get extra 😈😈?

-And speaking of toxic BL though, what role do you think this trope has in that specific genre?

- There can also be characters who are more prone to being jealous/possessive, and there can also be characters we enjoy seeing being jealous/possessive, and these may or may not overlap. (Similar to you, I love a good broken prince clinging to their SO and growling when anyone comes near). What kind of characters do you like to see having these moments?

- For this moment to land, what do you think the writers need to give the story?

- What do you think the actors need to bring in terms of acting for this trope to succeed?

- bonus 1: some favorite examples of this trope? (A recent favorite has been Tim swearing he is not jealous when being the clingiest puppy on the planet. When Pai said he would kiss Tim if he admitted to being jealous, and Tim responded 'I wanted to punch his teeth in?' I had to pause the show to laugh it out. That entire scene was wonderful.)

- bonus 2: any other thoughts you want to share 😁❤️

- DR anon

This is truly an interesting one! Because, yeah, this is a trope that is very iffy for me and very circumstantial!

This one is another that seriously depends on the show and how it treats the jealousy. I often enjoy jealousy when it's either played for a laugh (like MRS and Tim and everything about that because, yes, he's jealous but also no one really cares) or when it's playing into something Bigger. I don't like jealousy for jealousy's sake or jealousy that comes across as controlling in a show that isn't just about that. Like, I need to be specific here because controlling jealousy can be great in the right show but most shows are not built for it.

This is a fascinating spectrum because so much of it depends on the show. If we leave out the toxic yaoi shows because, well, they're the toxic yaoi shows... I enjoy jealousy that is clingy or a bit of a pester but specifically jealousy that doesn't actually get in the way of anything. Jealousy can be clingy, a bit snappy... but the other character needs a backbone or to genuinely IN CHARACTER enjoy it. And that's important! It has to be make SENSE that they're enjoy it, not just the show going all handwave-y on us.

Eh. It depends. I typically prefer jealousy to get shut down or sort of... bemusedly observed more than anything else. Clingy jealousy can sometimes be amusing to be encouraged, though, and I cannot deny that it gets cute. I like jealousy to be more lowkey, something that just kind of happens but that everyone just gets past it and moves on. Toxic yaoi is a totally different story and everything is acceptable there including stupid fights and literally locking your boyfriend up in your room with a dog collar on because Toxic Yaoi.

I mean, Toxic Yaoi was built on possessiveness and jealousy and I can definitely enjoy it when the show knows what it's doing! And that's the line between toxic yaoi and yay abuse!!! in the genre for me. If the show knows that it's toxic and is just here to have fun? HAVE AT. Jealousy is so, so important in those relationships and everyone tends to enjoy it!I love it. But, like, shows that know they're toxic can get away with murder with me (literally).

This is just so show dependent. I am iffy of the jealous broken princes because I like their jealousy to be more... acting out and pushing away because they're sure they're not enough and that's often just not done super well but is also the opposite of the possessive type of jealousy because I really find broken princes to get toxic about that and not in a way the shows intend. I love a momentarily jealous sunshine who never felt this way before. Or a tsundere suddenly realizing that Not That's His Person when his sunshine goes to help someone else but also realizes that's why he loves him and so goes and helps as well! I just like when a character's jealousy makes sense and moves something in the relationship forward.

Reasons. Jealousy has to make sense and not just be there Because Jealousy. Or for jealousy to be a chance at character growth and not just a way to be controlling of the person they're supposed to love. Jealousy should be a way of improving communication and trust! Not... anything else!

This is hard. I think actors really have to consider their character's motives for the jealousy and remember that being controlling shouldn't be the goal... but a lot of that is up to the writers. I feel like this one is a very writer/script controlled trope.

Tim is a beautiful example of some of my favorite jealousy. My Beautiful Man is filled to the brim with beautiful jealousy done both healthily and unheathily and I love it so much. I'm sure there's more but I have failed to think of them.

I enjoy jealousy more than I think I should but I've also been burned a lot by jealousy being a disguise for controlling behavior that ends with the fandom cheering for that instead. Also, I don't tend to like possessiveness and I separate the two in my head a bit because, like you can be jealous without truly being possessive but rather insecure and I do prefer that. It's why I find broken princes jealousy getting possessive to be not my favorite. I dunno. It really depends so much on the characters.

[heretherebedork]

Trope Discussion #7 : The "Happy-Go-Lucky" Character

What to you is the most appealing part of this character archetype? Is this a character type you like? I feel like these are different characters than Sunshines, but can have a lot of overlap? For me, these are the ones who are happy to take life as it comes, the optimists who don't stress too much about anything, but are not necessarily naive. (One example for me might be Kenji from What did you eat yesterday, he is a very happy character, but he has a pragmatic outlook that grounds him too much to be a sunshine character for me. May or may not apply to you.)

What kind of background do you like for this kind of character? (Socioeconomic wise / family situation wise / etc.)

What kind of character do you like paired with a happy-go-lucky character?

Is there a specific setting you like to see this character in? (High school/college/work/etc). Alternatively, do you prefer a specific age range for this kind of character, is there one that is more appealing to you? Do you feel these characters are more common in the younger settings?

Are there any specific story beats you see frequently with this kind of character?

What do the writers / director need to do for this archetype to succeed?

What do you think the actors need to bring in terms of acting for this archetype to succeed?

bonus 1: some favorite examples of this characters?

bonus 2: any other thoughts you want to share 😁❤️

- DR anon

(I am trying to give you very similar characters/tropes, and also the super popular ones and am feeling like I am running out of stuff already 😂)

Okay, this is a rough one for me because I have a lot of trouble separating this from sunshine. They feel pretty much the same to me? Like, it's a subcategory and I struggle with the differentiation. This is an entire conversation I am having now, lol.

For me, this is a subclass of sunshines and I love sunshine characters so... yes? I like them? But I struggle to see them as their own entire category. They re a smaller circle within the circle that is sunshine. And, funnily enough, I feel go entirely against part of your premise since part of the definition of happy go lucky is being carefree which is... not pragmatic or realistic, typically. So this is a fascinating departure in my working definition of happy go lucky. Which, regardless, I consider a subset of sunshine because sunshine is more of an umbrella archetype than anything else.

Same for sunshine? I mean, it also depends on how we define happy go lucky. Which.. if we consider them more pragmatic, I tend to like them older versus carefree which makes more sense if you skew a bit younger. Either way, I enjoy almost every variety of sunshine.

I mean... a lot. Tsunderes are typically my favorite in this kind of situation because these are the characters who break down those walls. They're happy and they're there and they don't go away. So I love a good tsundere/sunshine, especially the type with high walls. There are good for that and I appreciate their effort.

See, I dunno? This is hard. Anyway, I feel like this depends on the definition again? More carefree trends younger but I like an older carefree character, one who's living their life and successful but still manages to take things lightly and with joy. But the pragmatic happy characters tend older... and I kinda like them younger because it's a bit of a juxtaposition, typically.

I have no idea. None. I think there's often a moment when everything is just Too Much. When things breakdown. But that's also just... everyone. And my favorite moment in every show, frankly.

Just write. I find these tend to be easy and common and rarely too bothersome. They're good characters and depth comes from conflict for them fairly easily. As long as the show is good, they'll be my favorite. Unless there's a broken prince.

I think there has to be depth. It can't be a two-dimensional joy. We have to believe it. North from My Romance Scammer is genuinely carefree in moments and you believe it.

North? I got nothing. I don't subcategorize like this, alas.

I got nothin;, my friend. Nothing at all.

I mean, you can send me whatever you want, askwise, obviously! Make your choices!

[heretherebedork]

Trope Discussion #6 : The "Pulling Pigtails" (Teasing/Bullying the one you are attracted to)

- What to you is the most appealing part of this trope? Is this something you enjoy?

- This is a trope that can have very extreme ranges in terms of what constitutes "pulling pigtails", be it from light teasing that is just verbal to the really extreme cases where wires get crossed and one half of the pair physically hurts the other. But for yourself, is there a "sweet spot" in terms of this kind of dynamic? (I personally find this to be separate from the pair engaging in banter / verbal duels) Alternatively, when does this trope go too far for you?

- What kind of characters do you like to see having these moments? Do you prefer it to be more equal in terms of both of them poking each other, or is it typically more compelling when it is one way?

- What do you think the actors need to bring in terms of acting for this trope to succeed?

-Is there a specific setting or age range you prefer for this trope (high school / college / office / etc.) ?

-When DOESN'T this trope work for you? Or when do you feel like it is not done well?

-Have you noticed any big differences in how different countries use this trope?

- bonus 1: some favorite examples of this trope?

- bonus 2: any other thoughts you want to share 😁❤️ (It was hard to come up with questions for this one!)

- DR anon

Another interesting trope!

I like this trope is exactly one show and it is My Beautiful Man and I really can only barely explain why it works for me there when it doesn't basically anywhere else. This is one of my most beloathed tropes and I tend to... take a lot of issues with it. Honestly, it's why Rome is never gonna be my favorite Aou character (I mean, besides the fact that Tan will never be outdone). I tend to genuinely hate this trope in shows and I find bullying/teasing of this style to often be deeply uncomfortable for me.

This trope almost always goes too far for me. I can handle some light verbal teasing but I prefer it in an established couple dynamic versus a flirting dynamic. If they aren't together yet? I don't like it. I find it to be a very uncomfortable and unpleasant way to flirt and I often just want it to stop. And go away.And not come back. It's why it took me SO long to like J in Head2Head and why I despite FUTS so damn much. I do not like this trope.

Equal is better? But it has to be truly equal. Like, both characters have to genuinely be having fun with it and that's rare. It's almost always more one-sided than the other. To make it work? It has to be My Beautiful Man. Where the bullying is partially there and partially exaggerated by the viewpoint character and then explained by the other character as well as supported by the narrative that the teasing went away once they started to like each other.

Be My Beautiful Man? Uh. Really, for this to work, everyone has to be working together. The character getting teased has to either genuinely be able to enjoy it, stand up for themselves or be damaged/traumatized enough that we understand why they take everything like this. And the one teasing has to know their limits, genuinely apologize and stop at a certain point. And actually stop!

Uh. No? Not really?

I feel like I've spent this entire post doing exactly that. But anyway! I don't like this trope. I don't like teasing or pulling pigtails, I often take it too seriously to my detriment in the enjoyment of shows and I find it frustrating how lightly shows take this. I struggle to recognize the idea of teasing just being 'fun' or 'flirty' and if it's serious enough to get the trope label... I'm probably annoyed. It can work but it has to be VERY good and VERY specific.

Japan does/did it best. Japan really does this well, honestly, because they like that big emotional climax kind of moment and give us, basically, an answer to the teasing/bullying and explain it to us and often from both sides! Thailand is definitely the weakest in this because they typically just kind of excuse the teasing and never actually apologize or make it better in any way shape or form.

My Beautiful Man. That is... basically all. The Proper Way to Write Love also has this trope and I did enjoy how they handled it as well.

I hate this trope but especially when GMMTV does it. They just... they love to do this trope with no sense of catharsis. Head2Head did it best but like... that's about it.

You gave some good questions for this! Too bad it's just me being a hater.