Discover Top Posts Tagged with #trtm

Story time: when I was like six years old my family tracked out to this massive dinosaur museum we went to like every year but it was a three hour drive away from our house so it was always a full day. So we get there at like nine and I’m ready and I do the whole museum without breaking except for lunch and so I’m obviously exhausted by the time we get to the youngest fossils and after that is a kiddy play area and then the gift shop. My brother goes and plays in the sand-pit-dig but I drag my mum into the gift shop and then run around between the people probably scaring the shit out of my mother.

So at this point I’ve been in a museum about all of life on earth for eight or nine hours, I’m exhausted, and my brain is so far from fully developed it doesn’t know it yet. And at this point it’s probably prudent to mention I was raised Roman Catholic, which is probably why when I found the name Jesus printed on a whole entire row of keychains my first thought was not that there was a Spanish name pronounced Hey! Zeus! Or that some people named their kids after Jesus, but that they were expecting JESUS OF NAZARETH to come into the gift shop and purchase the ENTIRE ROW of keychains and be on his merry way. And I didn’t question that assumption at all, because obviously that was what it meant, except then the SECOND thought hit me, which was that if Jesus walked through the doors to buy keychains, it meant he was back on earth, which meant time for the rapture and revelations and all that, and they wouldn’t have the keychains if he wasn’t coming.

And so that’s the story of how six year old me thought that the apocalypse was at most two days away and just accepted it along with the stegasaurus toy my mum found for me before we went back to dig in the pit.