#true conversation

[chaotically-cas]

My sister: *shows me her bruised elbow*

Me: that looks tuff, with an f

My sister: Wait. Tough isn’t spelled with F’s....

[ifindus]

tb to last year when the scottish lady at the gift shop asked my friend and i where we were from only to ramble on very excitedly about how pretty Norway is and then suddenlly remembering my friend existed too…

(click for better resolution)

[redlyncentral]

me, asking my friends: why am i crying at 12:30am?

my friends: stop okay we get it you love andi mack that trailer is not your life

me: *still sobbing* MY BABIES

my friends: we give up.

[radioactive-earthshine]

Someone online: What part of Washington do you live in? The wet part or the really wet part? Lol.

Me: The Mordor part where every summer everything is on fire.

[katdvs]

Ryan: Should I watch PLL?

Me: Do. Not. Watch. Pretty Little Liars. It's not worth the WTF. It will just make you angry.

[beautifulbrokenheart]

“doesn’t he care how much it’s hurting you?”

I shrug.

“honestly, and don’t be mad I’m asking, but is he really worth it? is he worth the heartache and the misery you’re experiencing?” her pain was so evident in her face, because I knew she could see my misery.

“always.” I responded, “He could break my heart, stomp on it, throw it away, whatever. and I would always go back to him. he’s my one.”

her smile was small, “I’m sorry you’re going through this.”

I shrugged again, knowing I deserved the pain I was experiencing.

“I wish he didn’t have to hurt you so badly,” She said quietly, “I know he’s worth it for you. But he should be thinking of you first also.”

[francolkxd]

late night conversations:

friend of mine:

 -so these are the titles of my short stories.-the theory of good and evil,-the dog symfony and the warm shoebox 

me:

-ok cool... i have absolutely no idea what they are about..

fom:

-yeah haha really puts the thrill in thriller..

me:

-yeah good tactic but you know what?

-i think you should take it to the next level man, so this is what we're gonna do..

-first we will make it so that the pages can only be read if you soak them in goats blood.

-where are they gonna get the goats blood ?

-not your FUCKING problem man , you only write the damn things let them figure something out for themselves!

-but wait .. there's more..

-next we're only gonna print 58 copies.

-why 58?

-well it's due to the intricate fact that IT'S THE ONLY FUCKING NUMBER I COULD THINK ABOUT!!

-but how do we chose who to sell the books to?

-well we make a hunger games type tournament but with flamethrowers..

-only flamethrowers.

-who wins?

-no one that's who!

-cause once the poor bastard wins we give him all 58 copies and then we open the hangar doors and let out a bunch of planes that will drop a shit ton of copies of your book around the city, making that poor fucker genocide completely worthless!

-so what do you think?

fom:

-dude are you on drugs right now?

me:

I'M HIGH ON LIFE MOFO!!

[euphoric-demonss]

"Maybe I care about you so much that I don't want to hurt you," he murmured, holding her in his arms. "Maybe you're worth the risk," she replied, laying her head on his chest.

tbh via euphoric-demonss