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11 and flinthamilton for the drabble challenge?
Answered! In 2,000 words (rated T for Teen). So it’s up on AO3 here:
http://archiveofourown.org/works/13019673
Dear Diary
Summary: James and Thomas have found their well-earned peace, but Captain Flint may still be able to contribute something of value.
(thanks @lena221b!)
do you think that James had the time to tell Thomas that he loved him before they were separated in London?
Oh nonny, you’re breaking my heart.
Because my first thought was “Yes, DEFINITELY”, and I think that’s still where my brain mostly stays. Since they had such a slow build before the kissing and sexy times began, I don’t find it hard to imagine they’d have got to “I love you” pretty quickly. I mean, you don’t address your kind-of-sort-of-I-don’t-quite-know-where-we-stand boyfriend as “My truest love” in a book dedication. And if Thomas was on that page (literally), then I imagine he and James would have talked their feelings out. Especially since they talked everything out. It’s the era of James’s life where someone (two people) got past the facade and carefully projected persona to the soft and squishy romantic James underneath. So yes, I think he was able to tell both Thomas and Miranda that he loved them.
Buuuuut…
What if he didn’t?
What if Thomas was super heart-on-his-sleeve about declaring his love but in a “It’s OK if you can’t say it back yet” kind of way?
What if (like in @reluming’s recent fic, “and swallow darkness whole”) Thomas didn’t get a chance to give James the inscribed copy of “Meditations”—which was to serve as his declaration of love—and James only discovered the inscription after leaving London?
What if James, just home from his 3-month trip to Nassau, realized that he loved Thomas the moment he saw him again in that scene with Peter and Miranda? Only he didn’t have a chance to say anything before heading straight to the Admiralty to be confronted with Hennessey and Alfred. And then Thomas had been taken by the time he got back that night.
Basically I’m now drowning in sad and woeful headcanons in which James didn’t get a chance to tell Thomas about his love.
But instead of allowing myself to drown there, I’m going to keep on the side of positivity and think about James’s delight in hearing Thomas tell him how loved he was. And James’s delight in finding new ways to tell Thomas the same in return. Maybe they had a competition to find the most flowery, ridiculously overblown comparisons and similes. “I love you more than all the oceans across the span of all the earth”, “My love for you is wider than the sky”, etc. I’m quite tickled by the idea of these two erudite men finding purposefully cheesy, sappy, melodramatic ways to express their love for each other.
Maybe they were so mutually delirious about their newfound mutual love that they began to say it as soon as they were alone together. Maybe it became the refrain James repeated while they were in bed. Maybe they said it to each other so much that they developed a private shorthand version of it that could be said in public. Maybe every time Thomas called James “Lieutenant”, it had come to mean “lieutenant of my heart” and every time James called Thomas “My Lord”, it had come to mean “lord over my every wish and hope and dream.”
So, in conclusion… take your pick of lo, these many headcanons. Imma stick to the happy-makers.
i’m in tears i loaded up a village and the first thing i saw were two beautiful villagers holding HANDS
Loving Bucky Barnes Would Include. . .
… Times when he just wants to be quiet, and times when all he wants is to talk about every horror he’s witnessed as you sit there stroking his hair, reminding him that nothing he ever did will keep you from adoring him. // … The former Winter Soldier being totally unsure of what to do with you… I mean, he’s terrified he might accidentally hurt you. It’s as if you’re a fragile doll - in fact, that’s one of his many endearments for you. // … Him not exactly knowing how to control the strength of his metal arm, so that means lots and lots of practicing - careful examination of your fingers or gentle caresses of your cheek. // … Him getting all shy and humble when you tell him how amazing he is. He’s got every confidence as a fighter but absolutely zero as a lover. // … You showing him how to do ordinary things around the house. He can run over the top of a moving vehicle with ease but can’t make a single cup of tea. // … Brushing his hair back and rubbing his frown line when he gets upset or frustrated with his memory. He likes it when you do that. // … Hand-holding. He prefers you to take his metal one when you’re out, as that helps him feel less self-conscious. But when it’s just the two of you back home, he always reaches for your slender fingers with his flesh ones. // … Him longing to be connected to you but struggling to know how, so he often gives you those puppy eyes and mumbles his thanks for your patience with him. // … You calling him Sergeant to remind him that he’s good and brave and worthy of respect. // … Rare hugs. Bucky’s more into kisses - which is totally fine too. // … Him burying his nose in your hair and loving to breathe in the sweet and comforting and wonderfully human smell of your shampoo and conditioner. // … Bucky eating A LOT. And you jump at every opportunity to make cookies, brownies, or any other sweet imaginable for him. Of course, afterwards, you two have to go out for a nice, brisk jog together. // … Him loving to sneak up on you. If he ever finds you out walking alone at night, he’ll grab you around the waist and remind you with a wink that there’s always the chance some unsavory assassin could be following your tracks. // … Bucky being constantly on surveillance. You have to softly touch his arm and remind him your home is a safe place. // … Him being a fierce protector. No one is to ever touch you with the slightest intent of malice. To those who don’t know him, he might come across as jealous or possessive… but he really just worries about you. // … Him fearing that he’ll lose you, and that somehow it’ll be his fault. // … You gently teasing him when you’re out and he’s struggling with social interaction, then being super sweet about helping him learn. // … Asking Bucky questions, because you genuinely love hearing him voice an opinion. // … Him feeling so good when you call him by cute nicknames, because it gives him back the personhood Hydra stole. // … Nights in, when Bucky is extraordinarily playful, because it’s just the two of you and he’s most comfortable with that. Usually you’ll dress up for him, even if you don’t set a foot outside the door. // … Eloping [obviously] with Steve as the sole witness. // … Him always, always making sure you fall asleep first. And sometimes, you wake up to catch him pressing a soft kiss to your shoulder or a light touch to your skin, mesmerized by the fact that you care so much for the soldier most of the world refuses to ever trust again. //
