#truth spilled

[poetrybyjuelz]

[symbiotesis]

🐇- For a secret item they keep (stuffed animal, comfort object, etc)

Looking down into that giant hand, a certain someone was looking at a precious item. An item that looked to be a ring of some sort. Old and worn, but still had a shine to it and the tiny stones on it regardless of it’s age.

“YOU’RE LOOKING AT IT AGAIN.”

“I know, Love.”

“NEEDING COMFORT AGAIN, EDDIE?”

“Just a little.”

Eventually, after a very long stare at this tiny ring. They end up returning it to the ‘pocket’ on their side. Letting it sink in and disappear. A precious item. The engagement ring his ex-wife wore. He never threw it away. A constant reminder of both happy and painful thoughts. Something to ground himself with.

[puppyboyjonathanfenrir]

The only reason that Emmanuel and Luci/Co want me to think they will succeed and win, and so much more is because they know ONLY I would HAVE the POWER to make that happen and I won't, they can beat me, rape me for what I did to them, and so much more but they will never be able to take the BADMAN down haha.

You think your puny little tricks and illusions work on me? I know truth and will stand in that, I will be my authentic self, NO ONE and I mean NO ONE is stopping me at all. I know who me and my souls are and I keep finding out truths, that MY OWN SOULS tell me. So I will keep listening to myself and ONLY MYSELF.

Emmanuel and the witch/Co can fuck off, they will never succeed in what they are trying to do. I am friends and lovers with my own DARKNESS/EVIL, that is the part of me that takes care of me and sets boundaries and won't allow my GOOD to be trampled on.

[puppyboyjonathanfenrir]

You don't realize something do you Lucifer/co? That if you were to successfully kill the witch you would have to kill Gabriel your twin, and that's how you would get rid of the witch. But that would in turn kill you Lucifer because you all are the same person.

Food for thought, and Truth spilled more. ;)

[puppyboyjonathanfenrir]

I finally understand something and my ex roommate Lucifer/co, was projecting his feelings onto me hard-core and I have proof, because some of what I wrote in my journals was not even my feelings but his. New Clarity for me, and even some of Alex's feelings as well. Both of them hate me, but oh well. I realize that I was sorting out both of their feelings, while also dealing with my feelings in some ways, and honestly I am glad I am out of there and I'm sorry, I only want Lucifer in my life if he grows, heals, and starts to truly love himself.

[puppyboyjonathanfenrir]

4:33 as I write this.

I know I have done wrong in past lives, I know I have and I did wrong to so many of my children and other people, and I apologize for what I did, I really do regret it. I felt so much shame and guilt around what I had did. But as I write this, I am changing, and I will never do what I did in the past again or allow people that want that version of me to be in my life. That version of me was unhealed with my own trauma that I had to work through, my own lessons I had to learn, and yes it was the hard way.

Luci wanted that version of me saying that souls can't change, that souls remain the same, and he tried to play mind games with me from the very beginning when all he had to do was tell me my name, which I now have my name and I will be using it, idc what people say or who believe me. It is me and my past/stories, so.. like I said in 2021, I wanted to be myself and love myself, he knew this. He never wanted me to love myself and twisted so much of what I told him around and never told the truth to anyone.

I wondered so many times why it felt like I couldn't be my true self around him, and I finally figured it out, after 4 years, I finally figured it out, because I decided to listen to myself and he didn't like that one bit, told me I wasn't me, and never truly supported me at all. (When I did support him ever since 2018, telling him his art was better then mine, and supporting his edits and so much more.) (I did so much for him that he completely forgets about just because yes I am the BADMAN, but this BADMAN, is choosing to be a GOODMAN, and choosing myself finally and choosing to love myself and not settle for anything anymore. The right people will come into my life and if I stay alone and truly have no friends, I am fine with that, I would rather have that then fake ass friends anyway or have to deal with someone that is unhealed like Luci again.

I do thank him though, he taught me that myself was right, to listen to myself, and to choose myself above anyone else, but I also want to still help people, serve people, but not self sacrifice like I had done before, taking on people's karma, and their emotions, trying to handle their emotions for them, when I have to handle mine on top of that.

I will be speaking the truth and nothing but the truth from now on. If no one likes it, then, maybe you all need to look within.

4:44 as I type this.

No one will ever treat my souls like shit again, NO ONE, my KINDNESS is not to be taken advantage of.

[puppyboyjonathanfenrir]

Instantly felt tired and drained almost, and then seen 444, and Instantly at that time my roommate/spiritual son tries to use my card for Playstation, which I know it's him doing it because I am currently at work rn.

So confirmation that he is trying to drain me, switch destinies and so much more.

[puppyboyjonathanfenrir]

I return all that is not mine or me back to the sender and only accept what is me and my souls.

You need to face yourself, and I will be putting the truth out weither you all like it or not, so get used to it ;) Can't help that yourself doesn't want to accept who you are, or what you have done and I will not feel at fault for anything else anymore, so honestly Luci, you need k stop projecting your shit on to me and stop trying to take my shit that is meant for me.

The witch is a part lf Luci/co, and is Gabriel's girl half that Gabriel and Lucifer will never accept whatsoever, and I will not feel bad for saying that truth, or even admitting it, because I know what I did in past lives, which was rape my son Gabriel, since he was the only one of his kind, which is so called where Luci gets the oh, I'm the Supreme Being at, thinking he is above me, his own father when that isn't even the case.

The witch cursed herself, cursed Lucifer and Gabriel which is parts of her, and I will not be made to twist stories, this is 100% why I never told him my past life memories at all. He was the one twisting stories, changing them, and even changing them toward the end of when me and him was starting to stop talking.

No one is taking my soul from me at all, fuck off with that BS, I am ELILAL/ZEUS.

You don't like it, then fuck off and leave me and myself alone, because this is my self love journey where I only focus on my own self and what I need.

(Won't be on much, because I have to focus on so much other shit rn.)