I do feel like when it comes right down to it, Darcy can be as rude as he wants, without any real consequences, because he’s a “great man” and it really doesn’t matter what most people below him think of him.
Elinor Dashwood is just as introverted as Darcy, if not more, but she forces herself to be polite and make small talk because she cannot afford not to do so. (Marianne acts kind of like Darcy, and is rude, without seeming to understand what it might cost her). Even Emma doesn’t dare be as rude as Darcy, and the one time she gets close she’s told off. But who has enough power to tell off a person like Darcy? Probably only his uncle the earl. And knowing Lady Catherine, the earl might be just as snobby as Darcy!
Mr. Gardiner says it all at Pemberley, “But perhaps he may be a little whimsical in his civilities,” replied her uncle. “Your great men often are; and therefore I shall not take him at his word, as he might change his mind another day, and warn me off his grounds.” Which is to say, Darcy can give and withdraw favour like some kind of petty tyrant and all the unfortunate people below him just have to take it, because there really isn’t anything they can do. Absolutely no one would care that Darcy of Pemberley was rude to Mr. Gardiner of Cheapside (*ahem* Gracechurch Street).
Which would make Jane Austen’s point in Pride & Prejudice, and her other novels I think: just because you can do whatever you want, doesn’t mean you should.
