I can’t afford to get something professionally diagnosed, and it causes me incredibly imposter syndrome because I get paranoid that I’m somehow damaging the reputation of people who are diagnosed. It’s a really stigmatized disorder. Accepting I have it is relieving and let’s me work on symptom management until I can afford to get it looked into. But until then, I feel like I’m faking and hurting people. If you think any of this needs a little truth, I’d really love some. ;w;
Hi, sweetheart.
It is so difficult to struggle with something and be unable to afford to properly address it with a doctor; I am so sorry that your are going through this right now.
First, often, self diagnosis is accurate, at least to a degree, as it's not something anyone does on a whim. Most people do tons of research and serious soul searching before they even think the words "I think I might be/have x" to themselves. Millions of people are forced to self diagnose with things like ADHD and autism, because they can't afford to see a doctor, or because they have been dismissed by doctors because these things are "difficult to diagnose" in adults, women, people with other mental health diagnoses, etc. And these people diagnosed themselves so that they can do what you're doing: help and accept themselves.
Second, and maybe most importantly, if this diagnosis-- self given as it may be -- is helping you cope with the symptoms and how it is impacting your life, then that is a huge positive! Anything that helps you manage your day to day, feel better about your self/your life, and control negative symptoms is a win, and not something you should begrudge yourself out of a worry about how others might feel about your diagnosis.
Imposter syndrome sucks, and I know you've got a little voice telling you that you might be wrong about this diagnosis, so you might actually be an imposter, but here's the thing: the only thing you are gaining from this label is a positive impact on your life. You aren't getting donations, or sympathy, or accommodations from others because of it. You aren't tricking anybody, or lying. You are using the diagnosis to make your life better.
And I am so glad that you're able to do that. I'm so proud that you're able to give yourself that.
