#tslog

[starlet-girls]

i had completely forgotten how Off The Rails leighton and this show in general is and fr had to stop myself from crying when she said she wished an air conditioner fell on those two girls 😭

LMAO she is PEAK petty lesbian i love her so much

[rainbowdazzle]

CONGRATS PAULINE!!!

[in-mammoriam]

★ 𝙽𝚘𝚟 𝟸, 𝟸𝟶𝟸𝟸 ★

We got our assignment finished and submitted this evening. With that, I am officially done with uni!

The hotel internet decided to crap out for a full 10 minutes in the middle of my call with my assignment partner. That seems to just happen sometimes, and whenever I try to video call anyone the quality is horrible. Definitely looking forward to getting home to my reliable internet and my main PC. The laptop does the trick but boy oh boy is it inconvenient and uncomfortable in comparison to my setup at home. And slow. These poor fans are working overtime.

I debated buying myself a beer to celebrate finishing uni, but I think I’d just feel sad drinking alone in my hotel room. And I don’t particularly want to sit alone at a bar either. So I’ll save up my celebrating for when I get home and I can do it with my friends and family.

I’ll be home in a week! Looking forward to seeing my people, and being in my own house.

[in-mammoriam]

★ 𝙽𝚘𝚟 𝟷, 𝟸𝟶𝟸𝟸 ★

I’ve been really drained today. Having been pretty isolated for the last few weeks, being around so many people yesterday really took it out of me. The introversion is in desperate need of recharging.

And I missed the nurses yesterday. I never know when they’re going to arrive, so I couldn’t really plan around it, and they came while I was out yesterday. The nurse today mentioned it, but there’s not much I can do about it aside from never leaving my room, so y’know. Sorry I left my room that one day.

Been trying to work on my assignment because it’s due in a couple of days. I’ve been making progress but it’s slow going, it’s hard to focus when the batteries are low. Aiming for an early night and hopefully some more energy tomorrow.

[in-mammoriam]

★ 𝙾𝚌𝚝 𝟹𝟷, 𝟸𝟶𝟸𝟸 ★

Guess who went out today and forgot to take any pictures!

A friend of the family is currently in Thailand recovering from a different surgery, and today we were both recovered enough to go out. It was good to get out of the hotel, now I can at least say I went shopping like a proper tourist!

We went to this huge... not a mall exactly, more a sort of market, but indoors. A market crossed with a mall maybe, I’m not sure exactly how to classify it. It had some regular stores and cafes and stuff, but there was also street food stalls and little touristy souvenir shops and stuff. We just wandered around for a few hours browsing whatever caught our fancy.

Bartering is a thing here, and I am terrible at it. I always feel guilty about asking for a lower price, and the whole social interaction feels uncomfortable and a little combative. It’s not how things work in New Zealand. Thankfully, my friend knows what she’s about, so she handled all the haggling for me. She told me off a couple times for looking to excited about an item, which made it harder for her to get the price down. It’s all too complicated for me! But I wound up with a wooden elephant head that I can put on the wall next to the wooden giraffe head I got in Bali, and a coconut bowl inlaid with mother of pearl as a gift for my mum. Souvenirs purchased, mission accomplished. (Like these top surgery scars aren’t souvenir enough!)

We went to a maid cafe for lunch, which was a very bizarre experience. My friend picked it, and I’m not sure if she knew what it was. With the girls all dressed up and the rules we got taken through when we sat down about not touching them, not taking photos etc, I felt a little bit creepy, like a voyeur or something. But I sat with my back to the rest of the room and just focused on chatting with my friend and enjoying the food, so it wasn’t too bad. And now I can say I’ve been to a maid cafe I guess...

Trying to find a taxi home was a bit of a mission. Apparently, taxi drivers will try to get away with not using the meter, and then they can tell you a much higher price that you can’t really dispute, because there’s no meter price to back you up. We had to try several different drivers before we found someone who agreed to use the meter, and all the interactions were the same kind of combativeness as haggling. I never would have managed on my own, I would have just accepted what they told me and gotten wildly ripped off.

By the time I got back to the hotel I was pretty knackered. It’s the most exercise I’ve done since surgery, and I was also just hot and sweaty from being out. It’s so much hotter here than I’m used to. A good day overall though, I’m glad I did it, but I don’t think I’ll go out again. It’s all a bit too much for this small town introvert.

[in-mammoriam]

★ 𝙾𝚌𝚝 𝟹𝟶, 𝟸𝟶𝟸𝟸 ★

Day 14

I think I’ve started from a pretty good post-surgery base, so there’s not much visible progress. I didn’t really get any bruising. I do have some swelling in the center and on my right side, but it’s only really noticeable to me because I can see it from the top. You can’t really tell from the front or sides.

I’m getting the odd little tingle in various places across my chest that can feel a bit unsettling, but I know it’s just my body doing healing stuff. I can sleep on my side now with no trouble. I just have to be aware of how I’ve wrapped my binder, because if the velcro line is on the side I’m lying on it can sort of dig in uncomfortably.

My incisions wrap a fair way around my sides towards my back, but truly I do not mind at all. From the start I was never that worried about how the scars would look, I have plenty of other scars and marks that are part of me. They are all a part of my story, my history, part of what has shaped me into who I am. Even the ones that came from negative experiences, I have learned to accept and to love. Without them, I would be somebody different. And I’ve worked too hard to become who I am now to resent the things that have brought me here.

Woops, got onto a bit of a tangent there, sorry folks. The point is, these scars could be far worse and I would still be happy.

I will still do some scar care stuff though, I’m not sure what it will be yet. Just because I would be happy regardless doesn’t mean I won’t put some effort into reducing the ridge and helping it soften. I’ll probably wind up just massaging Bio Oil into them, but we’ll see.

[in-mammoriam]

★ 𝙾𝚌𝚝 𝟸𝟿, 𝟸𝟶𝟸𝟸 ★

I’ve spent most of today working on a university assignment. I’m working on it with one other person, and it’s the last piece of uni work I need to do to finish my degree. Once it’s submitted I’ll be done with uni, and I’ll never have to go back! I’m so ready to not have uni deadlines constantly looming over me.

Not much else to report, healing is progressing the same. Tomorrow is the two week mark! It’s flown by!

[in-mammoriam]

★ 𝙾𝚌𝚝 𝟸𝟾, 𝟸𝟶𝟸𝟸 ★

This morning the nurses removed the rest of the tape from my incisions. It was starting to come off by itself now that I’ve had a few showers, so it came off without any tugging. It was the first time we’ve been able to directly see the incisions, and they look pretty clean. The nurses are happy with them, and so am I. I was expecting them to look a little more... gnarly, I guess? To be more red, or wider, or more raised or something, I don’t know. But they’re just these clean lines, I’m so pleased.

I spent most of today drawing and watching Twitch. It’s really pleasant sitting in the sun in my room, I get all the happiness of feeling the sun on my skin while not overheating because the air conditioning is on 24/7. Sometimes it’s the little things.

It’s been almost 2 weeks since surgery. Time is doing that weird thing that happens when you have no schedule, I feel like I could’ve been in this hotel room for anywhere between 3 days and 3 months. But my chest feels perfect. This is right.