did you know there are more people with genius iq's living in china than there are people of any kind living in the united states? that can't possibly be true. it is true. what would account for that? well first of all a lot of people live in china but here's my question: how do you distinguish yourself in a population of people who all go 1600 on their sat's? i didn't know they take sat's in china. they don't i wasn't talking about china anymore, i was talking about me. you got 1600? yes, i can sing in an a capella group, but i don't sing. does that mean that you actually got nothing wrong? i could row crew or invent a 25 dollar pc. or you get into a final club. or i get into a final club. you know from a women's perspective sometimes not singing in an a cappella group is a good thing. this is serious. on the other hand i do like guys who row crew. well i can't do that. i was kidding- and yes it means i got nothing wrong on the test. have you ever tried? i'm trying now. to row crew? to get into a final crew. to row crew? no. are you, like, whatever, delusional? maybe, it's just sometimes you say two things at once i'm not sure which i'm supposed to be aiming at. but you've seen guys who row crew right? no. okay well they're bigger than me they're world class athletes and a second ago you said you liked guys who row crew so i assumed you had met one. i guess i just meant i like the idea of it you know the way a girl likes cowboys. okay. should we get something to eat? would you like to talk about something else? no it's just since the beginning of the conversation about finals club, i think i may have missed a birthday. there are really more people living in china with genius iq's than the entire population- the phoenix is the most diverse. the fly club... roosevelt punched the porc. which one? the porcellian, the porc. it's the best of the best. which roosevelt? theodore. is it true that they send a bus around to pick up girls who want to party with the next fed chairman? so you can see why it's so important to get in. okay, well, which is the easiest to get into? why would you ask me that? i was just asking. none of them. that's the point. my friend eduardo made $300,000 betting oil futures one summer and eduardo won't come close to getting in. the ability to make money doesn't impress anybody around here. must be nice. he made $300,000 in a summer? he likes meteorology. you said it was oil futures. .you can read the weather you can predict the price of heating oil i think you asked me that because you think the finals club that's easiest to get into is the one where i'll have the best chance. i ... what? you asked me which one is the easiest to get into because you think that's the one where i'll have the best chance. the one that's the easiest to get into would be the one where anybody has the best chance. you didn't ask me which was the best one you asked me which was the easiest one. i was honestly just asking, okay? i was just asking to ask. mark, i'm not speaking in code. erica. you're obsessed with finals club you have finals club ocd and you need to see someone about it who will prescribe you medication you don't care if the side effects may include blindness. final clubs, not "finals clubs". and there's a difference between being obsessed and being motivated. yes. there is. well you do. that was cryptic, so you do speak in code. i didn't mean to be cryptic. i'm just saying i need to do something substantial in order to get the attention of the clubs. why? because they're exclusive. and fun. and they lead to a better life. teddy roosevelt didn't get elected president because he was a member of the phoenix club. he was a member of the porcellian and yes, he did. well, why don't you concentrate on being the best you you can be. did you really just say that? i was kidding. although just because something's trite doesn't mean it's not true. i want to be staightforward with you and tell you i think you might want to be a little more supportive. if i get in, i will be taking you to the events and the gatherings, and you'll be meeting a lot of people you wouldn't normally get to meet. you would do that for me? we're dating. okay. well i wanna try and be straightforward with you and let you know that we're not anymore. what do you mean? we're not dating any more. i'm sorry. is this a joke? no, it's not. you're breaking up with me? you're going to introduce me to people i wouldn't normally have the chance to meet? what the f... what is that supposed to mean? wait, settle down. what is it supposed to mean? erica, the reason we're able to sit here and drink right now is because you used to sleep with the door guy. "the door guy" his name is bobby i have not slept with the door guy the door guy is a friend of mine and he's a perfectly good class of people. and what part of long island are you from, wimbledon? i'm going back to my dorm. wait wait wait, is this real? yes. okay then wait, i apologise. i have to go study. erica. yes? i'm sorry i mean it. i appreciate that but i have to go study. come on you don't have to study you don't have to study let's just talk. i can't. why? because it is exhausting dating you is like dating a stairmaster. all i meant is that you're not likely to...currently... i wasn't making a comment on your appearance i was saying that you go to bu i was stating a fact that's all and if it seemed rude i apologise. i have to study. you don't have to study. why do you keep saying i don't have to study? cause you go to bu. do you want to get some food? i am sorry you are not sufficiently impressed with my education. i'm sorry i don't have a rowboat so we're even. i think we should just be friends. i don't want friends. i was just being polite i have no impression of being friends with you. i'm under some pressure right now from my os class and if we could just order some food i think we should... okay you are probably going to be a very successful computer person, but you're going to go through life thinking that girls don't like you because you're a nerd, and i want you to know from the bottom of my heart that that won't be true. it'll be because you're an asshole.
