#tuesdaynighthangs

[kristi-l]

Tuesday night hangs.

I’ve been reblogging a lot lately. Actually, I’ve hardly been here. I go weeks in between. Let’s write something.

At Christmas time my Grandmother died. It was both sudden and expected. Slow and fast. Thirty-six hours of palliative care, and we were there when she left. Ten minutes earlier I had been watching her breathe and I thought I want to see when she goes because that is being with her. But in that moment when we - they - realised she wasn’t breathing anymore I was staring at my phone. Facebook or something. I was with her, beside her, but I wasn’t present. And I’m sorry.

[kristi-l]

Tuesday Night Hangs.

I’ve spent two days being confused about everything and loving everything. Where should I travel next, when should I start my PhD, when should I have babies, why can’t my book write itself, why is the world so unfair, why can’t I stop eating cheese?

oh, life. You.