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steepling my fingers contemplating the potential fun-value of keeping backstory secrets to be Revealed VS how fun it is in dnd to get to play with dramatic irony + how likely felix is to ever actually talk about any of his stuff at all

#actually listening to those strahd recordings and doing transcripts now and just reveling in the things edel was saying #that benny didn't understand at the time but that made ME go OUUGHH and HEEHEEHOO and things of this nature #when you Know you can knowingly play into those things a little bit you know?#and you can say 'so because blorbo DOESN'T know he's gonna take this This Way [wrong]'#and everyone gets a top-down view of that happening and gets to participate in it meta-narratively #and it's FUN and it's COOL and it's NICE. but Reveals that are a reveal for your real life friend in real time are also really funnnn ugh #I don't know. I think I should probably just talk openly with justin about some of felix's stuff #especially in this campaign where I doubt it'll ever come up AND if it does it will almost certainly be BADLY mishandled #okay maybe you should hear the truth from me first before the DM runs roughshod over it. I don't know.#justin IS the only one of the players in that campaign I can trust with meta information though unfortunately 😔#jill and nick have both been like 'aha! I will use this as a cheat code to say The Perfect Thing about stuff I shouldn't even know about'#and it sucksss lol dude I told YOU not BLORBO! it's actually a big deal and important that your guy doesn't know about this!!#the other thing is I Often wish I could bounce ideas off justin for like building out specifics and details #because he's a way better ideas guy than I am 🤔#on the other hand it's a bit weird because I DO want justin to continue to keep simon's secrets if he wants to LMAO #I'm having fun getting to put it together myself! DM's not gonna feed me so I'll let my husband do it #about me #husband #tumblbuddies #my OCs #benny #benny and edel #felix

it's so funny how my embarrassing husband-blorbo favoritism vanishes when he's not the only one at the table actually playing with me

#now-- jermaine favoritism Because Of Justin was real but only because justin and I live together and we talked about our guys a LOT #so I had a greater depth of understanding and knowledge of jermaine and it of course affected elyss' relationship to him #this was mitigated however by how very obviously I also loved most of the other PCs and my frankly shameless belial favoritism #cause everyone else at the table was playing with me! wrow!!#really most of the dnd I've HISTORICALLY played has not felt to me like blatant self-consciousness-inducing justin favoritism #MOST of my friends and their PCs are so great to play with ;n; but so many campaigns are flagging or dead....#so it's like... it's justin's campaign where every player is playing a different game and I'm the only one playing the same one as the dm #and vale walkers where melliwyk and zhartook's relationship is far and away the closest one in the party #I really love claire so much but she's got her own stuff going on so she and mel aren't SUPER close? although mel is very fond of her #ALL this is to say I was really scared starting dnd with entirely new friend groups with my husband that it might be like #oh sure 🙄 she only wants to roleplay with her husband 🙄🙄#I want to roleplay with everyone!! SO much!! but I'm only gonna do it as much as you wanna roleplay with me :'D #I don't remember what made me think of this again just now but point is. thank you internet dnd friends for my life #it's so so so fucking fun and rewarding playing toys with you #I'm gonna cry. god. I love my fucking guys so much godddd #about me #husband #tumblbuddies

I think that you’re probably one of the most verbose and intelligent people I’ve ever met. I love the way you create and the way you express yourself through your creations. I think the people in your life who don’t care about your passions or have made you feel small don’t deserve to know such a wonderful person. You’re funny and clever and you always make sure the people around you feel seen. I really am glad to have met you!

n ice to meeee ;n;

#Anonymous #lays on the floor #oououughhh.... uuuhuhuhuu #also-- and I cannot overstate how sincerely I mean this:#I love so much that you've diagnosed me with never shuts up disease in an explicitly complimentary light #I'm gonna be verbose whether anyone likes it or not so I'm glad there are people who like it 👉👈#thank you... I love you ;n; 💖💕#ask thing #tumblbuddies

the extreme whiplash contrast between 'hey I've been thinking again about how our blorbos' narrative themes are intertwined and I've found another layer to their dynamic to be insane about' vs 'hiii I think our blorbos should fuck because 1) mine has abs 2) yours is here'

#the exact midpoint I think is 'I already know what your character is like so what if I built a narrative foil for her on purpose'#the limerick thing is sooo annoying I THOUGHT it might be fun to explore a dnd romance with jill #but she doesn't wanna DO THAT she doesn't wanna ENGAGE WITH IT she doesn't think KNOWING MY GUY MATTERS #why explore a narrative together and leanr about each other's characters when we can just project a ship onto them arbitrarily!#IT'S A FANTASY SPACE ANY CHARACTER CAN BE ARBITRARILY SEXY. WHAT ELSE!!!#anyway. friends who Play Characters With Me in an actual Playing Characters Space I owe you my life.#friends who play 'what if we clink our guys together like dolls' with me in an actual The Characters way I owe you my LIFE #about me #tumblbuddies #irl frens #my OCs #benny #felix #benny and edel

some of you may recall that I have two friends that I play dnd with, who both play and DM and are both in each other's campaigns, who are first cousins both named Stephen [Lastname]; because my entrypoint friend into this whole big family of friends was one of three brothers we went to school with, we call one of them Brother Stephen and the other Cousin Stephen to differentiate them when necessary

and a funny unforseen knock-on effect of that is that I now also have two dnd friends named Nick, who both DM and play, and I just realized my brain has automatically sorted them as 'Brother Nick' and 'Internet Nick'

#well one of them is from internet and the other one is my brother you know how it is #about me #tumblbuddies #irl frens

"Unfortunately, leaving the death house did not remove you from the genre you've found yourselves in"

"Aw fuck"

#gfhjkgkjhdf #benny insp #tumblbuddies

as someone who has, occasionally, been made to feel like my noticing and remembering things in dnd and putting a lot of thought into my and other people's characters and caring very much about them are all things that make me actively a problem, it's impossible to overstate what it means to me to be told directly that all those things are specifically appreciated

#maybe crying for real a little bit #it's fine #most of my irl friends do give the vibe at least that they like playing with me and like my style-- or don't actively dislike it #but they don't often say so outright and I'm still pretty fucking damaged from just-- like-- two or three specific friends #subtly or not-so-subtly or overtly making it clear that if I commit too much to the bit it pisses them off or is at least tiresome #at best I'm Too Much and at worst I'm a pain in the ass #see: my angsts and woes about playing felix for the DM he landed with #I dunno. I dunno. feels good man. friend chip... care about me.....#I ALSO CANNOT POSSIBLY OVERSTATE HOW GOOD IT FEELS TO PLAY WITH PEOPLE WHO ARE ALSO LIKE THIS MY GOD. GOD!!!#*WITHOUT* BEING UNDERCUT BY AT LEAST ONE PLAYER AND/OR A DM WHO ACTIVELY ISN'T INTO IT AT ALL #DM CREATING A BEAUTIFUL SPACE TO PLAY IN? FULL PARTY OF PLAYERS PLAYING IN IT TOGETHER??? LIFE COULD BE A FUCKING DREAM?????#thank god thank god thank fucking goddd #about me #tumblbuddies

telling my brother about my friends' homebrew campaign and player characters and him getting hyped about how cool and creative they all are 🥰

#GODDAMN RIGHT #me: [describes wonderneath concept]#him: :O!!! dude that sounds amazing what the heck #me: I KNOW RIGHT #me: [describes everyone's blorbos]#him: [enthusiastically and correctly extrapolating what they're probably like and where their character arcs could potentially go]#me: YEEEEAAAAAHHHH!!! 🔥🔥🔥#yeah it IS an incredible idea for a modern era evil eldritch horror to be an influencer to gain power and influence through followers #yeah it WOULD be really interesting to force him to work with others and see if his perspective changes on people who are 'beneath him'!!#YESSS MY BROTHA GET HYPED WITH MEEEE YOU GET IT!! YOU GET IT BRO!!!!!#feels good man!! [AGGRESSIVELY SHOVES MY SMART COOL CREATIVE CLEVER FRIENDS' COOL IDEAS AT YOU] LOOK. LOOK!!#him: dude when you described that thing that happened I literally got chills #me: YEEEEAAAAH!!! AND THAT WAS JUST ME EXPLAINING IT BADLY IMAGINE HOW *I* FELT #'how do people even come up with things like this' <- to be so clear literally also an artist and A Creative and also I completely agree #I wish I was more eloquent truly I always just wanna hype all my friends up forever and ever to everyone but I feel like I'm bad at it #very proud of this mission success. look at my cool friends boy #about me #tumblbuddies

#tumblbuddies

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