#turtle rants

[snapeingturtle]

Let me preface this by saying I like Regulus.

The only reason so many people praise Regulus as the Slytherin hero is because the fandom doesn't know enough about him to label him as problematic (and refuses to acknowledge how he literally idolised Voldemort before joining the DE) and fill the gaps with their fluffy headcanons which are often just aspects of Snape's backstory, being abused, being brilliant etc.

[turtlewritesthings]

@lady-tortilla-chip

Oh shush. You're too sweet.

I have no secrets.

Jk I have a lot of secrets.

As for writing? Idk. I think it helps to find a rhythm? And to try not to overcomplicate things.

Weirdly, I think learning Farsi actually improved my English writing. Kinda makes sense considering Farsi is well-known for its poetry and all my teachers told me I had to talk like I was singing. That words have a flow.

I was actually reading up on some linguistic stuff and saw something that said certain asiatic languages find English to be more musical? Like, we have a lot of lilting and drawling. If that’s so, Farsi does it even more. Secret: I'm convinced it's how Farsi-speakers know which of their little invisible vowels go where. *shakes fist* (aka I got through reading Farsi by looking at a word and going "well, this vowel would make a better sound so...")

Also, when I read other people's fics, if i stumble upon things that throw me off, I just straight up start mentally rewriting it to what I think would sound better. (Which I feel has both made me a better writer AND a more critical self-editor. Ugh. - me: "this is garbage" my beta: "stfu")

[karaimeariver]

this blog might make a comeback bc im finally getting around to catching up on rot lmao 

[ierospooks]

so, i just logged into this account again. i’ve been gone a good while but god am i amazed at what’s happened since i left this blog. 

i graduated high school. with shitty marks, yes. having dragged myself through when everything fell apart around me, yes. battered and bruised and defeated and deflated, yes. but i did it. 

i was so lost and broken when i finished school. i sat in my room by myself for months and i was so lonely and it hurt but i reached out for help. im finally in the process of making my way through the public mental health system. i hope i can finally sort this out, on my own this time. 

i’m doing a music degree. and like, a decent one. i don’t know how i got here but i am. i’m in string ensemble (second chair !!!!) and orchestra and hopefully soon musical theatre and fuck its amazing. i’m good at what i’m doing. thats never happened before. 

no one at uni uses my birth name. no one knows it. its so strange to think, the first place i ever used my name was on here because i was so, so scared of being wrong. there were no consequences on here. i am so glad i had this space. i most likely would have been dead by 16 without it.  

even though its going okay, this whole ‘being an adult’ thing, i cant help feeling like im just waiting for it to all go wrong. that some things are just wrong. like on the days when i cant talk, and people wont stop asking why and i wish my friends were there because they dont make it weird, they just make accomodations and its fine. like when im anxious and need to leave but i cant because i cant risk people thinking im weird, that i dont make sense. like when i sit up the back of a lecture and rub the bones in my hands together until they ache because i cant handle the prospect of explaining, ‘no, its not a toy, its a tangle, i need it, please dont touch it.’ i feel so alone and its only a matter of time until pushing everything away comes back to blow up in my face.  

some days i cant remember that kid that started to vent on this blog. other days i am them. wholly. entirely. consumed with that heaviness and that humming panic and that i-dont-want-to-be-alive-ness. but then i think that if ive got here with so much weight, then maybe one day i will be okay enough to be independent.

 to have a job again. 

to have a partner, dogs.

 maybe adopt a kid. 

i have to cling on to that because i never had a plan to be here but i want plans, i want to stick around long enough to maybe make something for myself. thats something i would never have said as a sad fourteen year old. and thats amazing.

[blue-star-rose]

Hey y’all. New Years is coming up and I’m gonna make some changes. I’m not gonna try so hard anymore. If people wanna be mad at me, let them be mad. Wanna cut me off? *snip snip*. All this negativity is not what I need in my life. All this pettiness and passive aggressiveness?? Done with it. Just tell me you’re mad man, we’re all adults.

[karaimeariver]

*crawls out from the rock ive been living under* has.... k/arai.... appeared.... in... rottmnt yet...?

[karaimeariver]

rly wanna buy that new artbook but 40 BUCKS.......

[karaimeariver]

This is a comment Peter Laird made in 2013 in response to April being whitewashed.

Now it’s been a while since this happened, so I’ll... begrudgingly give him the benefit of the doubt - he might have since changed his views on these matters - but I think this kind of illustrates the problem with a lot of the complaints I’ve seen surrounding the whole April-being-canonically-black-thing.

First of all, what Laird says here is ignorant. It removes context, hundreds of years of racism, not just in media but in society as a whole. Exchanging a white character for a black one (or a poc in general) is not the same because society has and still does not treat these two equally. (And funny that Laird mentions these movies as if they’re FILLED with black people - except you know, the characters he mentions are one of the few if not the only poc in a movie full of white people so like, well done there Laird racism debunked I guess /sarcasm)

Secondly, in the “was April whitewashed debate?” the answer is simply yes and no because Laird and Eastman are idiots who couldn’t come to an agreement on how to portray their characters. 

And finally, if you think "it doesn’t matter if April is black or not, just as long as the show is good!” then you don’t understand why representation matters, and have never needed representation because you’ve always had it (white/cis/straight people). So don’t tell me that “race doesn’t matter” because if that was true we wouldn’t be having this discussion.