the drunk child-free aunt of the snapedom

any pronouns | my name isn't turtle but please call me that here thanks | turtles are cool | I'm tired and mean | bachelor of science, apparently | Instagram & TikTok: snapeingturtle / ao3: snarkhive / discord: snapeingturtle#1251 | blacklist #personal if you don't want to see me whine about my life

[snapeingturtle]

McGonagall: the students might put in more effort if you tried to be a bit more likeable

Snape: I didn't like any of my teachers and I did fine

McGonagall:

Sprout:

Flitwick:

Snape: what

[danadiadea]

apparently, Severus needs 30 whole seconds to understand that he's on fire

[snapeingturtle]

I tried watching Heated Rivalry. I really tried. Made it to episode two. The time jumps were really irritating. I could’ve gotten over it, maybe, if I’d just kept watching. But in the episode, it was mentioned that Russia lost to Latvia, and my brain immediately went “no, doesn’t sound right, I watched those olympics”. That lead me to read through the Wikipedia page of the 2014 winter olympics, the Russian doping scandal, and how the annexation of Crimea during the olympic truce caused Russian athletes to be banned from competing under the Russian flag.

Did I pause the episode to do this? No, of course not, that would have made too much sense. The episode kept going, and I have no clue how much of it I actually ended up watching.

[snapeingturtle]

I think the main reason that I haven’t been on tumblr much is because I’m really scattered. I still have opinions, jokes, brilliant/stupid takes, but I’m not invested in anything consistently. For years this has been a Snape blog – still is, I just personally don’t have anything new to bring to the Snable (Snape table™).

Right now I am invested in (with constantly varying enthusiasm):

The Olympics (obviously I am biased here)

Bridgerton (specifically season 4)

Red dead redemption 2

Rupaul’s drag race US season 18

The Sims franchise (especially sims 2 Pleasantview lore)

[deafsnake]

Severitus

[danadiadea]

Severus Snape's character arc goes like

[ieatbreadz]

If I can’t have a white Christmas I will give one to Severitus

[digitkame]

Karkaroff pulling his ultimate move and T-posing Snape into a corner after he’s had enough of Snape avoiding him during the Tri-Wizard Tournament.

[faecaptainofdreams]

LMFAO

[ebysse]

hogwarts staff gift exchange

[inthemoodforblastt]

Actually Severus was a fucking chad. The guy didn’t know how to fly properly on a broom, so he said yeah? Then I’ll learn to fly without any fucking gadget, just on my own. Fuck you all.

and he did

[larpunya]

🦌

[meldigogreenfott]

I hope one day marauder fans realize that Severus Snape is the main character of that era. The literal reason behind why we know of their dynamics properly is through him, and THAT alone already says enough to know that he was the central character. Not Remus Lupin, who actually revealed very little, not Sirius Black, who despite having tough time moving on (understandably so) from his school time, also revealed very little to his godson, and not literal dead parents of the boy who lived (RIP), but bitter, scrawny, rude, sharp, Severus Snape, who probably wished to not be the central character. He is the last person who would have wanted this role. He didn't cherish these memories; he was haunted by them.

He is the unwitting archivist of their legend, the keeper of their sins and their glories, all preserved in the amber of his own bitterness. The Marauders, for all their charm and tragedy, exist in the narrative as satellites to his gravity. Their story is not told through the fond, hazy memories of Remus or the defiant nostalgia of Sirius, but through the raw, unhealed wound that is Severus Snape.

[pumkin-patchwork]

I love their friendship very much

[swevenwalking-deactivated202601]

sketching exercise ^^

[vesperkyno]

Sev having a nice time

[staypee]

Doing their nightly rounds. (Timelapse video below)

This was based on a twitter chat post a few months ago.

Please consider supporting me on kofi. | Commissions are open!

[madocasmagic]

Opening Snapetober with Potions. ✨ Day 1 of Snapetober Bubbling potions and open pages.

I just opened commissions for $35 (full body, full color, up to 2 characters). I’m doing this to help cover my rent and bills this month. If you’d like to support me, feel free to reach out!”