Don’t Get Too Close
Chae Hyungwon | Chapter Three
pairing: Hyungwon x Reader
genre: angst, smut
warnings: swearing!
word count: 2234
Previous chapters: 1 | 2
21/3/2020 - 10:35 pm
“I stop and stare, you’re almost there.
The words that leave your lips are the same, they call out my name.
I don’t wish for more, even when my body feels sore.
You’re everything I need baby,”
You opened your eyes slowly as you finished the song.
“I think we got it,” your producer said through the mic in the studio.
“Really?” You asked as a smile spread on your face.
“More than that. Now, get out,” he said, returning the smile.
You smiled brightly and took your headphones off before you placed them on the stand.
“Now we just need to put together the last two songs, and you’re ready to sing live on stage,” the producer said, fiddling with the stereo.
“I’m really happy to hear that,” You said. “Is there anything else for today?”
“Other than practicing your vocals for tomorrow, you’re free. I’ll get in touch with you when I’m ready to record,” he said.
You nodded, “Well, then I guess I’ll see you then,” You said, “Great work today!”
You grabbed your bag and headed towards the exit.
He nodded his head, “Yeah, you too,” he called.
You went out of the studio and started walking down the hall. That was the last thing on your schedule. The time was now 10:42 pm. You could feel your fight-and-flight response reacting by the thought of your date with Hyungwon. Were you allowed to call it a date? The butterflies filled your stomach as you headed towards Monsta X’s studio.
You arrived at Monsta X’s studio and peeked inside. You saw Hyungwon sitting by his desk with headphones on. You carefully knocked on the door twice. When his eyes met yours a shy smile appeared on his lips. He gestured you to get inside and you walked in as he took his headphones off. “Y/N,” he said with his warm voice, “You remembered.”
“What? Of course I did,” You said. “Are you still working?”
“Nah, I’m done for today,” he said and packed his stuff. “Now let’s go grab that much desired drink.”
21/3/2020 - 11:18 pm
“What is going on? You drink beer too?” He asked.
“Yes, what’s wrong with that?” You asked with a skeptical look.
The both of you were smiling. You went to a bar where they only served drinks to celebrities. It was really private so none of you needed to be concerned for getting leaked pictures or meeting anyone. The bar was really popular among celebrities and you could get a private room which you and Hyungwon also decided to get.
“I don’t know, girls just don’t usually drink beer. They like cocktails and the sweet stuff,” he said.
“U-huh, is that so? And how would you know that?” You asked with a lifted eyebrow.
“What? No, I just assumed,” he said innocently.
“I bet you dated a ton of girls... Don’t worry, I won’t judge,” you teased.
“Well, I can tell you right now that you lost that bet,” He said and filled your glass with beer.
The fact that you two were sitting alone at a bar made you feel all ticklish inside. How did you even get to this point? It was only yesterday when you lied to Hyunwoo about saying hi to Hyungwon. You didn’t even have the confidence to say hi to him and now here you were, having a drink with him, just the two of you.
“So, the shoot went well?” He asked.
“Oh, yes! The director complimented me so much on the part you helped me with, and I really think I wouldn’t have acted it out so well without you,” you said.
“Really?” He smirked, “Does that mean I was on your mind?” He leaned towards you with his chin placed on his hand.
You reached out for your drink and took a gulp. Did it just get hotter in here?
“What? How couldn’t I?” You asked and made a face.
“You’re blushing,” Hyungwon teased.
“I’m not,” you said, “It’s asian flush.”
He laughed, “Mhmm,” he said and grabbed a bottle of soju.
“Let’s have a toast,” he said and filled a shot glass with soju. “For your comeback,” he continued.
Your heart felt warm. Was he always this caring?
22/3/2020 - 1:03 am
You covered your mouth with your hand as you laughed loudly. You could feel the muscles on your stomach tighten and the tears well up in your eyes.
“Oh god, I’m crying!” You said in-between laughs.
Hyungwon laughed along with you, “You should have seen Kihyun’s face! It was priceless. If you think the story is funny I can’t even imagine how you’ll react if you saw it in real life,” he said.
“Oh my god, so he just sat there calmly without clothes?” You asked and managed to take a breath.
“Yeah, he tells us it’s only natural for humans to walk around naked,” he said, referring to Changkyun. “And Kihyun has the exact opposite mindset so it’s really fun to see them together,” he said.
“Wauw, it must be so fun at your dorm. I can’t even imagine it,” You said. “You’re like seven people that enjoy each other’s company and love each other even though you get into fights and disagree,” you continued as the both of you calmed down from the laughter.
“I’ll say there is some pros and cons. For example, Kihyun likes to wake up early, and he’ll wake us all. So I can’t sleep in even when our schedule is free. And he always nags at me,” he said, getting annoyed just by the thought of it.
“Aww, poor Hyungwonnie,” you said with a pouted mouth, teasing him.
“Shut up,” He laughed, “How about you? Do you live alone?” He asked, changing the subject.
You nodded. How lonely, you thought. He observed you as your gaze fell to the floor and your smile slowly disappeared. Before any of you said anything your phone rang. You felt your heart sink. It was your dad.
“I’m sorry, I have to take this,” you said.
“Go on,” he said with a nod.
He grabbed his beer and took a gulp as you got up and walked outside to receive the call. Your dad rarely rung, so you were surprised to see his name. Your dad usually didn’t call unless he wanted something.
“Dad?” You asked.
“...Hi babygirl,” he said with a hoarse voice.
“It’s been a while,” you said.
“Yeah, how are you?” He asked.
“I’m good. Thanks. How are you and mom?” You asked.
“We’re holding up. How is your comeback going?” He asked.
“It’s going fine, I guess. How is work?” You asked.
Silence.
“What is it, dad?” You asked.
“...We need money,” he finally admitted.
You closed your eyes tightly. Although, you had seen it coming, it still broke your heart. You took a deep breath. It hadn’t even been that long since the last time you sent him money.
“What about the money I sent you in the beginning of this month?” You asked.
Silence.
“Dad? Please...” You begged.
Your relationship with your parents wasn’t good. You grew up poor. Your dad had an addiction to gambling and your mother struggled to raise you with him. Problems at home were a contributory factor in your struggles at school. You decided to start a singing career at an age of 12 because you loved singing. Luckily, a member, of the company you were under now, had discovered you through your youtube channel. Now, you sent your parents a good amount of money each month and only visited them when they told you to, which they rarely did. You had no idea when they would be at home or else where, so you couldn’t just visit without their permission.
“It’s urgent,” he said firmly.
“Are you kidding me? Just tell me the truth dad,” you said, angered by his tone.
Silence.
“You’re so pathetic,” you whispered. He always gave you that; Silence. He never gave you any attention even when you were a child. And now, after everything, this is his way of asking for a favour? What the hell would he expect?
“How old are you? Aren’t you supposed to be more stable than I? I can’t manage to send you more than I already do!” You said in frustration.
“Y/N,” he said slowly with an undertone of anger. “You’re supposed to be grateful for what we’ve done for you. Is this how you will treat your dad and your mother? We gave up everything for you. There’s nothing more we could have done for you,” he yelled.
You scoffed in disbelief, “Why would you get me in the first place if you knew you couldn’t manage it? Don’t fucking lie to me. I know I was a mistake. So would you please stop using that excuse?” You yelled.
“You’re an ungrateful little bitch. Kids are supposed to help their parents when they can! We got you into this world, so you better be grateful!” He yelled back.
“I never asked to be born!” You screamed and hung up. You felt your whole body shake in anger.
You knew you were going to end up sending them the last bit of money you had anyway. That only meant you had to starve yourself a couple of days. It hadn’t been that long ago since you got your paycheck from your chief. You knew you didn’t earn as much as other celebrities did. But one time when you decided to speak up, he told you very coldly:
“Aren’t you becoming a little too arrogant?” He had given you a stare that sent you shivers up and down your spine just by the thought of it. “We don’t earn shit from you. Look at the amount of money on your paycheck and do the math,” he had told you.
That day had scarred you for life. Before, you had confidence in yourself. You believed you were a great singer, dancer and just generally good at your job. But after what the chief told you, you lost all that confidence in a split second. Your fans’ words suddenly weren’t loud enough to drown the hate comments you received. You had refrained from reading comments since then because you knew it was too much for you to handle.
You stood outside the bar, the cold wind blew your hair away from your face, and you tried to calm down in vain. It felt like the world crumbled right under your feet. All your problems suddenly came back to you and appeared in your mind one by one. You could feel the anger and frustration getting replaced with sadness and despair. The silence of the streets were soon filled with your sobs.
It’s been a while since your last breakdown. Why were you so problematic? Why couldn’t you just live a proper and good life? It was all your fault, you thought.
You heard the door open as Hyungwon walked out of the bar.
“Aren’t you cold?” He asked as he walked closer, “I just took the bill, if you don’t mind. I just noticed it’s getting very late,” he said.
He had your bag and jacket in his hands. He froze when he noticed you were crying.
“Y/N?” He asked.
You sniffed and quickly wiped your tears away.
“Are you okay?” He asked worried.
“Yeah, I’m okay,” you said and smiled at him, hoping he wouldn’t notice your swollen eyes.
He handed you your jacket.
“Thank you, I owe you,” you said, referring to the bill.
“Don’t worry about it. Let me walk you home,” he said.
You observed him for a moment and saw how serious he was. Something in his eyes made you give in.
“Okay,” you said.
22/3/2020 - 1:58 am
You dragged your legs across the asphalt. You felt numb and empty.
“Y/N,” he said after a while.
You were surprised to hear his voice and turned around to look at him. And he noticed your red eyes.
He clenched his jaw.
It somehow felt painful to see you sad. He couldn’t stand it and pulled you into his embrace without a word. The tears suddenly welled up in your eyes again. You hated crying all the time, you were sick of it. This hug would only give you temporary comfort and distract you from reality. You overcame the temptation to stay and pushed him away softly. If he continued like that, it would only get worse once you snapped back to reality again.
“Y/N... Tell me what’s going on. I’ll help you, I’m here,” he said.
Help? And in what way would he be able to do that? You didn’t let yourself think before you spoke.
“Sure! You’re Mr. Perfect, who has everything anyone could ever ask for! Of course, you can help anyone you feel the slighest pity for. But let me tell you something, Hyungwon, this is not the case! I’m no charity work, so save your foolish, hero desires for something else!” You said.
And here you were again; Pushing people away that showed just a little bit of compassion for you. As soon as the words left your lips you regretted it, however, he didn’t flinch. For the first time since your breakdown your attention was else where. You looked at him in surprise.
His gaze looked clouded.
